Sociopath Community

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I told Turncoat that I wasn’t sure it was good for me or others that I should spend too much time here, and that my statement wasn’t motivated by guilt. (I cannot hang on to it, nor feel it deeply enough, for it to be transformational.)

He asked me why I was conflicted if it wasn’t on account of guilt, and I’ve been chewing on that question ever since. I suppose the best answer I can give is that I genuinely want to be a good person, even though I am well-equipped to be singularly cruel, and sadistic enough to find it quite satisfying."

You find that when you stay on SC too long the mood and atmosphere here carry over into your real life interactions with real life people?

Damien stated: source post

No. Are you?

p.s. 'wild' is a Pokemon reference. No need to overreact...

Oh, I thought we were intentionally making drama to react to in the thread asking why we react to drama. My bad. 

What's this Pokemon reference?

No, actually... for me it is the opposite. I have a wicked temper and a sharp tongue. I find that I try to be more patient and tolerant with others, probably as a form of compensation. :P

Nice face saving attempt :P

I actually planned to ask you why do you react after seeing that you commented but before reading what you wrote.

In Pokemon games when you walk through the grass, a wild Pokemon may appear which you either kill or capture. "Le wild something appears" is or was actually used in memes.

I came here with very thick skin, and left with impenetrable scales. ;)

"Why Do You React?"

"An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, but one whose way is straight is an abomination to the wicked."

- Proverbs 29:27

If I react at all, you know my reactions are family friendly 99% of the time, Sherry.

Things carrying on for years with Ed, all has to do with how I treated Alia. What really bothers him is how I never kissed Alia's ass, not before, or after she doxed me up after failing to control me by threatening to out me.

For the record, it's obnoxious for anyone to demand that I respect Alia, by either kissing her ass or running away like some of her other victims have done.

I told Ed long ago how sub servant and useful he is to these people. Though I said it the most, I'm not the only one to call him a tool. Years later he continued to white knight for this young woman I'm not obligated to be submissive to. I found her to be a spoiled brat.  Case closed, sweep it under the rug.

But this is all the reason for Ed to carry on. It's all for her. All I can say is how I said he's a tool, cause he worked and worked. It wasn't long ago Ed claimed how he went to Alia to get some footage of me, then he went ahead and posted the video on a porn site in another petty attempt to defame me. Not sure why he went and did that. But what am I suppose to say ? I'm forced to review his actions, and diagnose his behavior as being a tool, a cuck and a white knight over someone I have a low opinion of. It carried on for years, because he is that big of everything I say.

And it's not that I made it up, I really had to make remarks of his actions. When I break it down to him as advice, he gets very defensive. No one ever asked me why I trigger Ed. They always ask him that cause he's the one who carries on.

My reactions can be amusing, that's only healthy, my reactions are also mature.

Smiles

Interesting. :)

I find that all the judgemental things I feel while I'm here, my disgust with the more animalistic side of humanity fades to almost nothing when I leave here. I appreciate real people more bc they have good manners and don't tend to go around looking for boring old ladies like me to pick fights with.

Until some punk kid doesn't light your cig, amirite?

I like manners from one day strangers personally, but from those I really know it tends to feel like a socially expected, pretentious, dishonest waste of time. Here I enjoy from there being no need for them, something that makes the place feel more natural to me and shows politeness off as the tactic that it can truely be instead of a damn requirement. A lack of rules means a lack of expected scripts, showing in it's place individuality and the power of influence and trends.

While some seem to see the place somewhat like an outlet, for me it feels like I get to become more comfortable with my true nature in a raw and experimental way. I used to feel like parts of me were wrong, leading to inner conflicts and stress, but with this reacquired comfort I've been able to reforge it into something craftier. 

That punk kid was one out of tens of thousands.

Check the date on that story. Incidents like that happen about once every 5-7 years in my life.

Likewise with the forum. It's a side of human nature that I dislike, so I'm glad only 2-3% of the human population are afflicted with disorders that compel them to behave in such ways.

With any luck those numbers can be increased as people are given more room to be honest. So many I meet reflect how this place feels the longer I have to get to know them, the more time they're given allowed to show their true selves without fear of judgement.

At the heart of anyone is some form of selfishness, and I love that about people. Disorders in a way try to force such honesty out of a person from the increased necessity and difficulty that blending in can prove to be for them, but deep down, even those that find ingrouping natural have their more real dark sides they've been conditioned to not express just begging for air.

I love seeing that side of people. Playing pretend still has elements of themselves peer through the cracks, but it's nothing compared to who they really are. Embracing that true nature, to me, is true enlightenment, the explosion following years of repression like a butterfly bursting through society's silky yet suffocating cocoon.