There are some member here that have been at each other for years. I can't imagine carrying on with something so negative with the same people for that long, unless they're family. So I'm wondering what keeps driving certain members here to continue to play out the same dynamic with each other years after it all started, as if it's still new. Why do these people still get a reaction from you? Do you feel compelled at all to learn more tolerance for these people as part of your growth?
ImNotHer stated: source post
So I'm wondering what keeps driving certain members here to continue to play
Many years ago i used to have a mobile phone (cellphone, for americans) with a really good fast version of Tetris on it. Every so often I used to play that Tetris as a wind-down after a hard day’s work, for half an hour or so. I got crazy high scores, until its keyboard broke from the strain :(
It was a thoroughly futile exercise, with the sole purpose of winding down and a slight feelgood factor of yet another high score. Which purpose it served well.
Replace Tetris with playing Whack-A-Mole on online fora, and that’s all = a fun way of winding down / distraction from work. Until its keyboard breaks.
ImNotHer stated: source post
Do you feel compelled at all to learn more tolerance for these people as part of your growth?
Not at all. You’re presuming that the other party is regarded as a person rather than a stereotype or phenomenon. I think you’re working on a false premise here.
ImNotHer stated: source post
something so negative
Why the attached value? Do you see it as something ‘negative’? If so, why?
- "learn more tolerance"
There are things which should not be tolerated ever - not rationally, ethically, objectively, whatsoever ways. “Learning to tolerate†the non-tolerable would be a rather negative outcome, no?
ImNotHer stated: source post
Why do these people still get a reaction from you?
Easy availability / predictable performance. You can bank on it. (Until their keyboard breaks :(
Cricket stated: source post
What appears to be bickering on the outside leads to growth on the inside.
There's that too of course. Some of my best bickerers (bickers?? :/ let's stick with kvetchers) are my best buddies.
Cricket stated: source post
Also, sometimes it's just entertaining or humorous.
And that ^ of course.
Who has been at each others throats for years? I'm guessing they just keep firing back in revenge. It comes to a point where one would have to lay down thear weapon and live by tolerance of attacks for a while until the opposing one side them as less and less of a threat. It is a fight that can be few on by onlookers as well... I mean if someone who take the side of your enemy attacks you it makes it difficult to not want revenge. I think it's about being unable to forgive. It is the most hard to forgive if the offenses are continous.
Some of them are friends who I don't mind calling me out and I imagine it is the same for them. Sometimes it's needed or allows me to consider a different perspective. What appears to be bickering on the outside leads to growth on the inside. If I think a friend is acting like an ass, I do him or her a disservice by not saying something and vice versa, No hard feelings are ever retained on my part. Based on their reactions, I assume it is similar for them. Otherwise, we wouldn't still be talking.
Also, sometimes it's just entertaining or humorous.
I came here looking for info that certain characters provide. I'm also lurking on a few other forums, just reading with certain specific goals in mind.
But to get to those people I have to shoo away certain others.
(I'm decent at tetris myself. You should see my storage locker XD)
So I distract them by throwing a stick so I can go back to what I was doing before. And if they don't stfu I throw another one. And another.
Over half of this bickering is just copy and paste at this point.
I do read from my daughter's perspective occasionally bc she is aware of my writing and research. This is where I'm a little more thorough with my refutations.
It paid off. She is here for the weekend and she told me she read one of sugar's recent threads. Her fiancee was reading over her shoulder at the time.
She explained to him in just a few seconds what a bunch of morons frequent this forum, and told me that she didn't believe a word the participants on the thread were saying.
<3
She gave me the full rundown on what this place looks like to a total stranger who is unfamiliar with its...erm... idiosyncrasies.
lol. Just lol.
I'll never worry about what she might think of these people again.