Sociopath Community

ImNotHer stated: source post

"It's such an itch right now to want to see what your kinks are."

Why? What would you be getting out of it?

Dousing a curiosity. This is something that's remained somewhat of an unsolved mystery since before you left. 
 

ImNotHer stated: source post

I mean that I didn't know that what I was already doing from the beginning, was considered kink. 

What were you doing initially?
 

ImNotHer stated: source post

"I'm actually attracted to the idea of someone making me feel vulnerable in a sexual way. But I have trouble defining what kind of vulnerable I'm after. I dislike when a lover tries to humiliate for sexual pleasure. I end up triggered and then all I want to do is crush them. I can't articulate even to myself what kind of vulnerability I wish to experience. I only know that it hasn't happened yet.

ImNotHer stated: source post

"How would you feel if someone tried to do that sort of thing back to you? Like a battle?"

It was done to me once... and all I wanted to do after was destroy her.

What would you experience if you couldn't win?
 

Alterego stated: source post

Again, I can relate. I don't do humiliation in a sexual context. If someone were to try to humiliate me, I would crush them. It would trigger me right into "attack mode"- and I would pull no punches in rapidly turning the tables on them.

How fun. 
 

And if someone were to desire being humiliated by me, it would likely cause me to view them as weak and contemptible, which for me, isn't sexy. The kind of vulnerability that attracts me is the unconscious, doe-eyed kind.

But I'm not sure. No one has ever asked me to do that to them, apart from Ww3... and ugh. Ya know? It just doesn't work for me.

Well yeah, you sound like more of the sort to prefer a brat. 

Some fetishize the weakness or structure more than a more raw sense of power and awe, a slave and a master setup much like the Gorean perspective. I find it to be a relationship of two weak people enabling each other personally, but that's from my own bias made from preferring a different approach. It's a hard perspective to drop when each person I've met who prefers/has a slave(s) instead of a person tend to appear so inept or damaged in multiple areas of their lives. The formerly religious ones tend to be some of the worst. 
 

ImNotHer stated: source post

I think for anything to work on me the way I crave, someone would have to know how to get inside my head instinctively. If they have to ask questions or receive instructions, they've already lost the battle.

How well do you communicate your needs if they're having to ask questions and receive instructions? 
 

In my quest to find this intuitive partner I have fallen prey to some nasty characters. My curiosity coupled with my enthusiasm for novelty, you would think I'd attracts a wide variety of sorts, but I don't. There are usually two main type of lovers I attract- predators and other autistic weirdos.

That's a shame, you sound rather fun.  

"What were you doing initially?"

 My first lover bought me a strap on for my eighteenth birthday. He was bisexual which was a concept I never thought about because even though I was too, I didn't really think about it under that term.The way I saw sex was, as long as it didn't go against my morals who cares how the itch gets scratched? He used to rip the crotch out of all my tights so he could take me wherever, whenever. I loved public sex. One time his mother took us to the movies and I gave him a hand job under his leather jacket. She was sitting on the other side of him. We also used physical violence as foreplay but that always got tricky since neither one of us understood boundaries very well, unless they were our own. 

I'll come back to this another day. I don't really have the time to give a thorough response right now. But I wanted to get this much down while it was on my mind. Who knows what might occur to me or not if I waited.

You probably couldn't realize how lucky you were. If I had a crush on someone when I was school age it was all consuming. I watched their every move like a private detective. I knew every habit and broke their entire day down into a time table. It was maddening. Sometimes I set things on fire in order to deal with the overwhelming intensity. Nothing else could calm this intrusive thinking down like watching flames.

Turncoat stated: source post

This is boring to you now? 

Now I'm curious about what's potentially next for you. 

It's not just about being bored. Let me make more of a clarification; I don't feel attraction to anyone. You know, for me sexuality is closely tied in with my intellect. It's not just some primal drive that stays consistent based on hormonal, chemical, and emotional balance. What I'm experiencing right now could just be a phase based largely around what I'm focussed on intellectually for the time being. I'm more interested in developing better emotional connections right now. So sex is taking the trunk of the car while I explore connections that are not driven by sexual desire. Perhaps it's that easy for me to willfully turn it off because I'm so engrossed in my current research. 

I thought you brought up the whole sex thing in response to Atler's assessment of me because you felt I was maybe not tapping into my potential as an aggressive sexual partner? Now I feel uncertain of what we're even trying to learn with this. 

I think for anything to work on me the way I crave, someone would have to know how to get inside my head instinctively. If they have to ask questions or receive instructions, they've already lost the battle. In my quest to find this intuitive partner I have fallen prey to some nasty characters. My curiosity coupled with my enthusiasm for novelty, you would think I'd attracts a wide variety of sorts, but I don't. There are usually two main type of lovers I attract- predators and other autistic weirdos.

Well yeah, you sound like more of the sort to prefer a brat.

Definitely.

This is boring to you now? 

Now I'm curious about what's potentially next for you. 

That is what it's about, essentially, but these other portions still flesh you out more in a general sense. It all can potentially add up. Anything said shows your life's tool kit. 

I did post mine in the lips topic. 

Turncoat at the dentist: