I have the power. When he tops, I often tell him exactly what to do, and he eagerly complies. When I top, I do whatever he hell I want, until he signals for me to stop. Sometimes the dynamic veers combative. Sometimes we switch back and forth within a single session. It all happens quite naturally, we both just go with the flow.
Alterego stated: source post
I guess I might call myself a sensation oriented, dominant switch. I am both sadistic and masochistic, but I am always in control. I am the sexually dominant partner.
I've seen people claim Dom mas, but I never really got to watch it happen. How does the dynamic usually play out when you want pain but also want power?
ImNotHer stated: source post
I actually think kink comes very natural to me. You can get kinky without BDSM coming into the picture, can't you? I'm just now learning how my mind works and that I don't articulate ideas the way I think I do, so I may come across as contradictory.
It's such an itch right now to want to see what your kinks are.
Edit: Post 10,000, and it's about kink. How fitting.
"How would you see yourself responding in the bedroom with absolute power, either earned through conquest or as the default from having a broken thing bent in front of you, whichever you'd prefer? Would it be awkward, would certain ideas come to mind once someone's been reduced to that, or is it more about the reducing itself than what comes after?"
It wouldn't be awkward at all but I think it really is about reducing them to that state than what comes after. I'd probably just want to keep pushing them until they broke in a bad way. Then I'd have something more interesting to put back together. Like seeing if you can glue the pieces of a porcelain doll back together without the cracks showing.
"So... sex was more about them than it was about yourself?"
Yes. It was just another way of putting them under the microscope. But I think that when I was younger it also had to do with a fascination... that I could have this intense effect on someone. Like suddenly realising you can cast spells.
"Is there anything else other than novelty? What sort of fantasies play out in your head? Are any of them consistent or does every single one wither and grow old if given the time?"
My fantasies... I feel like they are driven by some closet perversion. I like psychological warfare and violence. But it's the kind that I feel is unhealthy to indulge. Because it's like it's not coming from a place of affection and longing to give my lover pleasure.
"How would you feel about physical pain making a person mentally vulnerable? Have you tried hurting someone with that goal in mind?"
It's just so hard for me to believe that physical pain can make a person feel that kind of vulnerability, because it doesn't work on me.
My fantasies... I feel like they are driven by some closet perversion. I like psychological warfare and violence. But it's the kind that I feel is unhealthy to indulge. Because it's like it's not coming from a place of affection and longing to give my lover pleasure.
Now this really interests me, because enjoying psychological warfare is exactly why I tend to stay away from frequenting this place too much. The kind of satisfaction I derive from stripping people down here is unhealthy for me to indulge in, because it is not coming from a place of affection. It almost always an expression of my contempt for someone, or something they said.
And yet, oddly, I do end up feeling a type of affection for some of those for whom I have so generously torn a new asshole. :P
"How would you feel about physical pain making a person mentally vulnerable? Have you tried hurting someone with that goal in mind?"
It's just so hard for me to believe that physical pain can make a person feel that kind of vulnerability, because it doesn't work on me.
It doesn't work on me either.
I generally dislike feeling truly vulnerable. It happens very rarely, because I take deliberate measures to avoid feeling vulnerable, but when it does, there is nothing sexy about it for me. I can get really turned on by vulnerability in others, though. It attracts me like a magnet.
ImNotHer stated: source post
I'd probably just want to keep pushing them until they broke in a bad way. Then I'd have something more interesting to put back together. Like seeing if you can glue the pieces of a porcelain doll back together without the cracks showing.
Some people like that sort of thing.
My fantasies... I feel like they are driven by some closet perversion. I like psychological warfare and violence. But it's the kind that I feel is unhealthy to indulge. Because it's like it's not coming from a place of affection and longing to give my lover pleasure.
That can still be seen as love, affection, and pleasure to the right person. Would it no longer be the same thing if they were enjoying it on some level?
How would you feel if someone tried to do that sort of thing back to you? Like a battle?
It's just so hard for me to believe that physical pain can make a person feel that kind of vulnerability, because it doesn't work on me.
Oh believe me... it does. Even with my liking pain, it definitely makes me vulnerable, tears down some walls.
Other people don't feel pain the way you're making it out to be. Could be worth some experimentation.
Turncoat stated:
I still don't understand why this sort of thing is a problem. What's wrong with indulging in the sorts of things that might make you viewed as a quote unquote "bad person"?
It is not about how I am viewed- especially here. I have always been conflicted about my true nature. I regularly leverage it at work, albeit it in a much more civilized manner than I have here, at times. It colours all of my relationships, and admittedly causes problems within them. It is who I am- and it has helped me immeasurably throughout my life. But in many ways, it is not kind. And this is where I am conflicted.
I am not a nihilist. I have my own moral code. And though I am not religious, I do believe in God. I want to be a good person. I enjoy doing good for others. And perhaps I even overcompensate a bit, through over achievement, for being so good at being such a bitch. ;)
Around here I get to take off the gloves and "play" around in a way I just can't anywhere else. But it gets addictive, I don't have a lot of empathy, and this is a really detached environment. It isn't necessarily good for me (or others) that I should overindulge myself, here.
I read what you're saying, but I don't think I can relate to it. I've found myself better off on the opposite path.
I mostly tried that when I was younger for appearances, then once more in college when I assumed that my nature would alienate me or steer others wrongly after an experience haunted me a bit. I thought it was guilt, but it was really fear and needless self-correction. Now that I'm over that I feel more liberated, freed, and from it my natural talents have had room to grow. Repressing my true nature served to weaken me, and letting it flow naturally let me find ways that it'd work for me instead of slip through the cracks outside of my control and hinder me in it's release. Better to let it breathe than burst.
I'd rather be me than what is expected of me, and if that does some sort of eternal damnation aftermath then at least I can know that I lived as myself and not as who some judging force demands I be. Even if my Nihilism ends up wrong, the threat of a punishing afterlife is not enough for me to throw away my freedom. Hell'd be more me than some eternal afterlife full of pompous repressed pretenders, as even once in heaven the expectations wouldn't be gone. If they were, there'd be no fallen angels.
For sure you can. We don't do the role-play thing, either. I think that would just feel cringey and awkward. But I am always willing to experiment. :)
What do you mean when you say "kink comes very naturally"? What parts, specifically? (Sexual power exchange as a dynamic...? Taking or releasing control?)
I guess I might call myself a sensation oriented, dominant switch. I am both sadistic and masochistic, but I am always in control. I am the more sexually dominant partner.
And I am happy that life has gotten better for you, Raven. That is good to hear.
I know this was addressed to Raven, but I am compelled to reply as well, because it applies to what you asked me in your last post.
Would it no longer be the same thing if they were enjoying it on some level?
If they are enjoying it, it is definitely better.
That's what made this place fun. It used to be that people would come here just so as to argue, and engage in various forms of trolling, banter, and psychological fuckery. Most people knew what they were getting into, and those who didn't rapidly left. I sense that dynamic has shifted a bit- but elements of it remain, especially amongst some of the older members.
"I wonder how it'd appear to her if she saw people who embraced it without having to read a script. While for some it's playing a part, for others it comes more naturally for them than the world outside of the bedroom. It's beautiful to watch when it roots from natural talent and inspiration as opposed to Joffrey wannabes LARPing with glassy eyed PTSD victims. Just like she's after but has trouble finding, it's only a work of art when it's real."
Yes. I do believe you hit the nail right on the head, here.
"Lucky bastard"
Thanks. I hope Crow appreciates what she has in you. ;)