Sociopath Community

by TheZodiac

it isn't that odd when you finally comprehend it...

Suppressed emotions, or the lack of deep feelings? Sort of along the lines of a somnolence.

Do you have a personality disorder? Is it sadness? Only emptyness and numbess? Or are there suicidal thoughts that invade your space and make you feel uncomfortable.

There is low functioning depression, but to me it sounds as if your emotions are simply numb.

OCD? BPD? ADHD? Anything along those lines? Maybe you have a lack of capacity for pleasure and reward? If that's the case your motivation will always be an issue and a tyrosine supplement in your diet may help.

If it's more along the lines of a sadness. Or muted emotions, yeah you could go to a doctor and they might put you on an SSRI, but me personally if you are in Europe ask your doctor for Stablon or an equivalent and do a short run of that stuff. It only takes a few months, and you'll feel full remission and can discontinue without any side effects. My opinion.

"have you experienced.
Weight gain.
I mean over the four year period, have you steadily put on weight?"

No, actually no. I have been working out since 2007 and, honestly, I don't eat a lot either. Actually, I lost like 11 kg and got underweight. I haven't gained or anything (despite the fact that I don't work out as much as I used to).

Some say anti-depressants make you gain weight, but I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone. As you know, we're all different. 

"It's hard to explain, but sometimes I see myself like a 'duality' and after these episodes the breach between these dualities becomes deeper, but as long as I can hide one of these sides and keep it on a tight leash, things will be alright."
Which portion of the duality believes this? Both?

"but as long as I can hide one of these sides and keep it on a tight leash, things will be alright."
Hiding it from yourself or those who might see it?

"Why'd you ask if it scares me or not hehe??? Actually, I find these emotions/feelings/w-e interesting."
Any time I feel something that I find unusual I find it somewhat disturbing, and among them I find happiness to be one of the scarier ones to feel in excess, so I figured I'd ask if such shifts were similar for you or not.

Still fun to explore them since they're rare enough, but that fun's more in hindsight than anything. My own experience with disconnections from myself were closer to dangerous than enlightening.

No, not really. I think the main cause is related to some psychological and environmental factors as well. For example, my father's behavior played a very important role. He's a true narcissist (he hasn't been officially diagnosed, but it's obvious that he's one and my psychiatrist told him that he needed professional help too). 

Also, I think he might have OCD to some extent.

by MrDelta

I'm just looking for more evidence that your prozac is the problem, because if there is only one symptom, sure it might be because of the prozac, but it's probably reasonably minor, if it exists at all.

Yeah we are all different. However if you gained weight steadily, then that's be a clear indication that somehow you were losing serotonin function over time due to the ssris.

I'm just looking for more evidence that your prozac is the problem, because if there is only one symptom, sure it might be because of the prozac, but it's probably reasonably minor, if it exists at all.

If you are motivated, yeah, that can be more of a dopamine thing.

If you are sad all the time, and high functioning, that could really be a serotonin issue.

The prozac is pretty weak though. The 5htp might be something to consider then. Cheap, OTC, safe, and is really nothing more than Serotonin food. I wouldn't bother with the tiantepine unless you are seriously depressed with a physical dysfunction in your brain, leaving you a depressed low functioning individual. Only my opinion.

I haven't decided yet if I'll go back to theraphy or not.

If it doesn't break the bank or is covered by insurance, go...nothing to lose but a couple of hours and may be more useful than meds.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC474733/

The Benefits of Exercise for the Clinically Depressed

"Which portion of the duality believes this? Both?" -- Yeah, exactly. Let's call them 'Side A' and 'Side B'. The first one is the face I use every day. It's the 'normal' one. 'B' is the side I want to hide and keep under a tight leash. Nevertheless, the former one is the side that controls and I'd dare to say it's the underlying and true personality.

It's funny to have both of them, because you create and mold a fake image of yourself. Others believe you are a genuine individual and think that's actually you, when you're not. 

Hiding it from yourself or those who might see it? - Others. 

Still fun to explore them since they're rare enough, but that fun's more in hindsight than anything. My own experience with disconnections from myself were closer to dangerous than enlightening. -- Oh, I definitely understand it. I remember you told me you had dissociation episodes from time to time (I'd like to know how it feels, btw). Mine are horrible, but quite relieving. 

It's like progressively dying and becoming someone new. 

what makes side B different from side A?

No, not really. I think the main cause is related to some psychological and environmental factors as well. For example, my father's behavior played a very important role. He's a true narcissist (he hasn't been officially diagnosed, but it's obvious that he's one and my psychiatrist told him that he needed professional help too).
Also, I think he might have OCD to some extent.

In the present...who does your thinking? 

" Yeah, exactly. Let's call them 'Side A' and 'Side B'. "

I can relate completely. I recognized this early on in life though and found ways to let side B integrate within acceptable side A. I found leaving side B completely out of the picture just lead to built up frustration and pressure that would make me commit to harmful behaviors simply off of impulse. Essentially, I took the best parts out of both and made 'Side C'.

Of course I still have remnants of both sides that lead to some pressure, but not at the rate when I solely excluded side B. The impulsive episodes are faint and easily controlled when they come.