Probably my worst illness. It's so abstract, but at the same time is so real. It's like I could even touch it with my hands. It'll stop torturing me once it's killed me...When viruses kill their hosts.
I just feel like I'm part of the void now. I like it, but...I also hate it....Ambivalent, isn't it???
Hell
You read depressed....considered seeing a psychologist or something? - Yeah, six years ago, I saw a psychiatrist, but I stopped the treatment because my therapist was crazier than me and I felt it wasn't helping me at all. I'm still on the meds, which I shouldn't because technically speaking, it'd be self-medicating, but they do help sometimes.
And well, I've been willing to go back, but I'm still functional.
http://www.sociopathworld.com/2014/11/depression-hurts.html
Interesting write up.
If the meds help, then stick with it. But also find another psychiatrist to see if there may be something else going on. Thyroid what have you can be similar.
Diet, exercise the usual to kick the endorphins into gear and without side effects other than getting into better shape.
"If the meds help, then stick with it. But also find another psychiatrist to see if there may be something else going on. Thyroid what have you can be similar". -- I'll probably go back to therapy, but I'd like to handle it all by myself. It's impossible to have a successful treatment when your family's too stupid to understand these things.
It's hard for me to describe these thoughts, but depression is killing what I used to be. Sometimes, I have some crisis and, after these periods, I feel different. The more the time passes, the less empathetic and sensitive I am. No emotions, no feelings, nothing...just a deep void.
"Diet, exercise the usual to kick the endorphins into gear and without side effects other than getting into better shape" -- I used to do this and it did help a lot. I'll do this again, but this time I'll have to be more careful, because I couldn't control the amount of exercise and, lol, my weight was 90.2. I'm a bit heavier now, though.
"Do you have a personality disorder? Is it sadness? Only emptyness and numbess? Or are there suicidal thoughts that invade your space and make you feel uncomfortable"
Yeah, I was diagnosed with BPD and major depression long time ago. It's not sadness anymore (I got tired of sadness) and it became emptyness and numbness and, no, I don't have any intentions to kill myself...it might sound antagonic, but that's how it is. Some people say I should stop taking those meds (antidepressants), but I don't know. I'll probably do it, if they give some other meds to replace those ones.
