it's a forum for sociopaths, isn't it?
I don't remember what order, which was first or whatever, but aside from normal things like fishing (baiting my own hooks with live bait) I remember that these all happened somewhere between the ages of 7 and 12, because I had less alone time (and nosier neighbors) when I moved at age 13. I didn't get any joy out of it or power boost. I'm not a sadist, I don't think. I don't know why I did these things, maybe I was a sadist as a kid. I haven't killed anything (besides bugs) since I was a teenager.
- I had a pet snake and we kept rats for it. I saw the movie the Abyss, in which there is a scene where a rat is put in this synthetic embryotic solution to show how it would allow the divers to go really deep without their lungs popping. I knew I had none of the fluid, but I think I just wanted to watch the rat struggle. I dunked it a couple times, but when it bit me I held it under until it stopped moving. I then tried to stage it as though the rat drowned in it's water dish. I think this was the only mammal. I was angry it bit me. shrug
- I used to bury lizards alive in plastic Risk piece boxes and dig them up again days or weeks later.
- My mom was a nurse and so once in a while she'd accidentally bring home an unused syringe in her scrubs and I'd snag it. If it was cold out I'd stash it and wait until spring or summer and catch a bunch of grasshoppers, then I'd inject them with things. It started with just water and slowly bloating them until they popped, but I got bored of that quickly and started using different things to see if there were different effects. I got more careful to make sure they didn't pop, figuring out how much to use so they wouldn't die immediately. Then I started experimenting with how long it would take them to die from different things, water versus milk, juice, dish soap, soda, spit and I don't remember what else. Whatever liquid was around, so probably antifreeze, oil and mouthwash, rubbing alcohol too, I don't know.
- I let the guard down between our two Betas to watch them fight to the death.
- I moved the separator between our adult bearded dragon and the younger one. Younger one was noticed to have disappeared.
- I threw my puppies into a waterway that was known to have alligators. I am pretty sure I wanted to see if an alligator would get one of them, but it might have been just to attract a gator so I could look at it.
Well of course. Such feelings are natural in a young Irken. It is so that one day you will be fit to serve the Almighty Tallest and the goal of an Irken-enslaved universe, of course.
Geeky fandomness aside, I believe the term for that, enjoying causing pain and death, is sadism. Dominance and control are another thing, and your sadism might be caused by a need for it, but that doesn't mean that need comes through consciously.
Normal people fear things like that, so there aren't as many or as extensive of studies into it as there are into, say, being happy.
You should have considered the possibility that there might be a few genuine sociopaths among the fakers and mistaken on a forum named "Sociopath Community."
Careful where you play, child. Because maps used to say ‘There be dragons here.’ Now they don’t. But that don’t mean the dragons aren’t there.
by Luna Preyi'm not sure i'd want to. i don't enjoy watching things suffer. i never understood the psychopath's urge to make something else suffer. who cares? why does 1 individual feel larger because they can manipulate 1 other individual? it's petty
I had a fascination with death as a child. I liked killing things just so I could watch them die.
It wasn't about power or even pleasure. It was pure fascination.