Nope. I can relate to the constant boredom/emptiness.
I could agree with the NPD, but I feel as though I'm nothing like those insecure things. I'm definitely narcissistic, but it didn't come along as a defensive response to any insecurities. Instead it came from repeated success at the highest level. If I truly want something, I will have it. Hell, even she, my woman of intrest is no exception to this rule. Basically, is it narcissism if you really aren't insecure?
As for my stalking it's always constant for me. When I got into relationships outside of her, nothing drove me to relationship besides sex. They all grow stale and boring after a while, I was more content with just being her friend than being in a actual relationship with another woman. That phase passed a couple months ago. The person I'm with now is starting to make me feel otherwise.
The logic in my stalking comes from me being her best choice in a relationship. Like I said before I'm physically, mentally and financially stronger than any of the men she thought of dating. We share so much in common, she was the first person I met that not only understood my way of thinking but had it as well. We were friends since childhood, I know more about her in some areas than her mother. You see, it's all built off of her irrationality. I am the best option for her, she just can't see it or chooses not to out of doubt. Me showing my long term affection eventually eroded that doubt but I had found by then she wasn't who I made her out to be.
"Basically, is it narcissism if you really aren't insecure?"
Not all insecurity is something that you're immediately conscious of.
"The logic in my stalking comes from me being her best choice in a relationship."
Says who~?
"Like I said before I'm physically, mentally and financially stronger than any of the men she thought of dating."
Is that really all there is to a person? Does that really give you the right to make decisions in another's stead?
"We were friends since childhood, I know more about her in some areas than her mother."
Careful with those. From experience, they can have some nasty side effects.
I strongly believe I am her best choice(well, used to).
Our original relationship together, before the stalking was amazing for her and me. A single jealous individual abused her billet within my targets social hierarchy to cast me down with lies. So you see, it's not the idea that I could be her best option, but the fact that I am. We had a successful relationship until it was sabotaged. My wealth, aesthetic, physical and mental superiority are just bonuses to a already proven, emotional connection we share.
"Careful with those. From experience, they can have some nasty side effects."
Too late.
If you're so much better than all the other men she's dated why did she choose them over you? You're a desperate fucking weirdo who stalked her for over 5 years, and when she finally gave you a shot the relationship went straight down the toilet. She doesn't sound at all "irrational" for not wanting to be with you, you're obviously not the best choice in any way. If you share so much in common why didn't it work out? What exactly did you find out that made you reconsider everything you believed about this person since childhood? You say you know her better than her own mother in some areas so how didn't you see it before? I think she just flat out rejected you in the end and the only way you can wrap your head around that is by telling yourself you don't want her anymore. Which clearly isn't the case seeing as you're on this site blabbering on about how you're meant for eachother.