Interesting topic Lycan.
thanks for the responses TC.
Is there a single point that you can see, that your self-awareness of these things reached critical mass?
or was it a gradual thing that become more and more clear with the uptake of info on the subject?
So , the smarter you became, the more adept your mind became at manipulating information and imagination?
I ask because Im interested in the "births" of ritual/s and superstition , if you will.
My short term is fried...or never was all together
I sometimes make lists, especially on my days off..but on the fly i use my hand and arm (even for things to do in like, 15 minutes away)...
my whole life is scattered..the only thing i have straight is my job, because i must...and I actually prefer it that way.
Interesting topic thread and replies.
1. I follow a pattern of trying to resolve issues as they arise with each person. Just when I make progress in one situation, it opens doors to progress in other areas where I had previously gotten stuck. So creating openings generates more openings. And letting go of one thing creates a lead someplace else.
2. I follow a process when writing certain letters, poems, or stories. It is like I hear or envision the finished piece in the future in its final form. And write it down in advance, guessing as close as possible, then editing it to try to fine tune it. Some ppl call this channeling as if a muse or angel is inspiring it. I see it as trying to capture the target in advance, merely separated in time like remembering a memory before it has happened. I used to do this only when writing something creative by inspiration. Later I realized that all life followed this creative process, and ppl were aware at different levels.Some ppl call it prayer or meditation as their ritual. But its basically similar of trying to focus on what is the ideal choice and aligning ones mind and energy to follow that point or plan. To align the present in harmony with the future goal as close as possible.
Well, the rituals kind of went away with age. I no longer must do something for the sake of calm.
I always have a stupid habit. Smoking, drinking, lifting weights, running....but I treat those things like addictions, or they treat me like they are my addictions. I do those because they make sense to me to do instead of doing them because I do them all the time. Smoking I stopped though (no longer made sense).
The fly by the seat of my pants things for my job are the things that mean absolutely nothing to me, but do mean something to someone else,...I would say that all of those things need to be listed some fuckingwhere because it wouldn't get a second though later without it.....if that makes sense
"Is there a single point that you can see, that your self-awareness of these things reached critical mass?
or was it a gradual thing that become more and more clear with the uptake of info on the subject?"
I was always aware of it, as it's been a thing as far back as when I was five, maybe earlier. My first obsession I remember was with grids and numbers (from studying a 1 through 100 counting square too long). I was aware of them, but they weren't really a problem since they were all around order, math, and socializing. When I first heard of OCD, I was just surprised my behaviors had a name.
When I first found Zinc and the behaviors magically vanished, it was strange and confusing for the next few days.
"So , the smarter you became, the more adept your mind became at manipulating information and imagination?"
Yes. The more aware of my capabilities I was, and the more creatively I could think with a stronger base of knowledge alongside delusional thinking kicking in (learning how easy it is to be bugged, learning about germs, understanding motion, obsessing over patterns and counting, learning how physical contact and facial expressions can influence how someone thinks, pondering if there's people who can read minds and just haven't said anything, realizing how someone could use my debit records to poison my next meal), the worse that my strange behaviors could become. Not sleeping regularly gave a lot of time to think.
"I ask because Im interested in the "births" of ritual/s and superstition , if you will."
OCD comes in different forms. Some form crazy reasons for why they have to do something, like "I must put my socks on left before right or my child will get sick and die", some might manifest around compulsions around a single idea, like how some germaphobes may behave, or why a hoarder might be unable to throw anything out, but mine apparently was strictly over the idea of a nonsensical self-disciplining sense of right vs wrong.
Above all, it roots from your own mind, so you are your own worst enemy, improving alongside yourself. They come from creativity, or suggestion, when faced with a consequence that is believed to punish almost immediately. It's why bad luck rituals, such as breaking mirrors, walking under ladders, opening umbrellas indoors, are about how it instantly punishes the subject in a way that is unobservable. My own self punishment response was more like extreme discomfort and inner self-scolding. Body'd tense up and everything.