Sociopath Community

Have you ever knowingly let yourself become attached to someone you knew you'd hurt in the end?

 Ofcourse... well not so much hurt me as disappoint me. people are easy to read and events are easy to predict. but sometimes a tragic ending is worth the excitement in between.

But if you see it coming then can't you do something?

If you offer 0 participation, what can they go off of? It's game over.

enlighten me please, I'm really curious. Maybe I just got lucky in the past that it has worked. 

Thanks! 

You're assuming that you can offer zero participation and that you aren't too wrapped up in them and their gaslighting to see your way out. Or that you have the ability to get away from them easily. If you've been lucky in the past, have you had an experience that required a state of deprogramming afterwards?

Daddy - no, there is no reason that he would have any vendetta against me.  I'm just afraid that it's too enticing to ruin me, I don't know.  Maybe I'm being too egotistical to think that anyone would bother going through so much effort . . .

Blabla - it's so hard because he is literally everywhere I turn, telling me everything I want to hear and being so good and kind, making me think that I'm wrong or that I might hurt him.  Not to mention how we feed off each other (or I think we are feeding off each other, but I am just feeding him)

 Iadmit - You actually took one or two years to do this?  That's a lot of effort and that really freaks me out.  What were you telling the girl? did you claim love?  "love bombing"?

oh, he's good. :)

I know the story very well, it's such a cliche! Believe me, the aftermath is so ugly, it makes AIDS and cancer seem cute.

1) Bolt, just shut it down, focus on someone else. Don't hang out, don't talk, eliminate any and all contact. 2) keep a solid, tight circle of friends around you. It is hard to fool an entire village, and generally speaking these types don't like a large audience for their misdoings so it should keep you at least relatively safe. Friendly advice, if he's cute don't count on your gays to have your back and give you perspective, they will get distracted by his charm and looks, they are completely useless in this scenario as backup! ;) 

If your gut is telling you that something is up, listen to it. Our instincts and intuition are never wrong. Don't ignore the apex predator, it will maul you.

Last piece of advice, take a time out from him, focus on yourself: what is it that you want? what are you looking for in an ideal partner? what is it that's keeping you interested in this guy? what's in it for you? what do you like about him? Chances are you'll face some of your own fears and insecurities, we all have them, and this will give you an opportunity to work on them, plus you won't find many things that link you to this person, it's a lot of smoke and mirrors, but not much substance.

Good luck hon!! May the power be with you!  

Yeah, 0 give. Nobody can force you to participate in something if you don't want, it's your call. You can be all kinds of wrapped up, but you still have the power to walk away. 

Getting away easily depends on the situation, if you're living with that person, you have kids together and whatnot, that's tough, but if you're living separately then you're good to go. 

Yes I have, this is why I refuse to participate in it. I know what's at stake. ;) haha! 

by blabla011

 if he's cute don't count on your gays to have your back and give you perspective, they will get distracted by his charm and looks, they are completely useless in this scenario as backup! ;)

 

 lol. just lol.

No offense to your socio but his tactics don't sound like the traditional methods from what I'd read or experienced. How did he allow you to retain a tight circle of friends? Given the amount of time invested into my lovebombing/grooming, it was impossible to flee at the first sign of questionable behavior. Even when I approached my closest friends they sided with him. They even expressed my concerns to him thinking I was just being neurotic. (which wouldn't be unheard of) This just made him tell me I needed to discuss things with him first before others. But this was a D/s relationship so there are probably some differences.

 Daddy - no, there is no reason that he would have any vendetta against
me.  I'm just afraid that it's too enticing to ruin me, I don't know. 
Maybe I'm being too egotistical to think that anyone would bother going
through so much effort . . .

No. He is probably that sadistic. This doubt that you're too egotistical to be worth the effort is exactly the kind of confusion he would want planted. Jay posted something the other day about arranging situations with his targets so that they were the ones at fault in the event of his disinterest. This kind of manipulation is exactly what the person in your situation is doing only to retain you, not get rid of you.