I had a pet that was with me for seventeen years, and she was there for me 100 percent when I came back. She was put to sleep in August. I can't replace her just yet. One day..
Is he rich enough to afford the moon, sun, and stars?
"A company called Lunar Embassy, using the Brooklyn Bridge method of real estate valuation, has sold more than 2.5 million one-acre moon plots, currently priced at $19.99 each plus $1.51 “lunar tax†and $12.50 “shipping andhandling†for your “deed.â€
Given a lunar surface area of 9.37 billion acres, and assuming a profit of $21.50 per acre, we’re looking at just over $200 billion in value. No wonder the company’s founder has warned world governments not to trespass on “his†moon and is fighting the International Monetary Fund to get a phony moon currency recognized.""
Just remember two things, if he is a narcissist, he is looking for supply, if he is a sociopath then he wants to drag you back in so he can have the final dump. Sociopaths do not care about revenge, they want the final kill or win! He is treating you like a mouse, he wants to see if after everything he can still pull you back into the game. He may have plans to use you again for something or it may be just an emotional/mental ploy. In either case you have been horrifically used and abused why would you even consider thinking about him? Consider him dead and move on, in time you will forget him completely.
Where is this guy's family and friends? His workplace?
If he has committed crimes, like some of the abuse issues sound illegal like assault etc., can you tell him you will file a complaint with the police unless he agrees to undergo therapy supervised medically with his family?
Don't deal with this yourself. Find medical or legal help and get the family around him to insist he goes through it.
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He thinks he wants you to save face and have control. To have his teddy bear to cling to until he decides to throw it away if he wants. He is afraid of change and projects his control issues onto you to keep a false sense of control.
What he really needs is to be healed of all this which is part of a vicious cycle and is not for you to fix.
He really needs closure in the way he is afraid he cannot change and do, so he wants to use you to cover up and fake having control by controlling you.
All my friends who had abuse or addiction issues were afraid to go through the changes.
You would know if he went through them or not because it makes them a humble person. They cannot fake this.
Like Alcoholics think they can just say they are going to stop. Unless they really resolve all their issues the addiction and abuse won't stop.
he would need to go through spiritual counseling and healing for himself, and also with his family or other past relationships he is projecting onto you before the cycle stops.
People make fun of me for posting about spiritual healing, but there are resources and contacts I refer because they are free and they work. They are posted on the reference page at http://www.spiritual-healing.us
What I do with people like this in my life is walk with them through spiritual healing which is a very involved process. They will need all the support they can get. But you can tell if they are for real.
It involves COMPLETE FORGIVENESS of themselves and all things. NO blame no guilt and bad feelings or fear.
All the negatives disappear when they receive full spiritual healing and forgiveness.
So if you use that as the criteria, you will have nothing to fear.
If they are NOT SERIOUS they will be deathly afraid to come near anything to do with spiritual healing.
Anyone who wants to stay stuck in their problems and keep blaming you and playing control games
will NOT agree to go through spiritual healing which will change all that.
If you don't believe it, talk to those who became new people after they were healed of their past ways.
The strongest example I can cite is the Son of Sam who came clean and started outreach to help others.
If you look up his testimony, you can see the difference between "before" and "after"
So you can tell if this person is still messed up or is really changed. It takes a long time to work through the whole process, like AA has 12 steps that takes YEARS.
So if your friend says he changed overnight he is lying to himself. It takes a lot more work than that and it takes all your friends and family helping you so it's no secret. You will know because you will see them go through all that to let go and accept responsibility for correcting all the problems they caused.
If this guy was criminally abusing you, this takes medical supervision to help this guy.
So no, he cannot do it by himself. Even regular people with no criminal background can't do this by themselves
and his case is worse than that.
Stay in contact with his family and other friends, and encourage them to form a support group around him to make him get help. If he is SERIOUS he will be so busy fixing up his own self, he will not have time to bother you. There will be no mistaking if he is really committed to change or lying to himself.
I'm sorry this happened to you and pray you stay safe. Make sure all his friends and family know about spiritual healing to cure criminal illness. Dr. Phillip Goldfedder on that list may be able to help or he may advise you just to stay away if this guy isn't ready to go through medical therapy for his criminal issues. That can't be fixed with words. it will take a full therapy process, spirit mind and body, like going through chemotherapy/surgery to fix.
Get his friends/family to set up resources for treatment, and work as a team to get him through it.
Don't anger him or egg him on, but support him to get help. If everyone does that consistently he will have nowhere else to turn. But if you taunt him or tempt him, he will keep going after you as an easy target.
Where is this guy's family and friends? His workplace?
If he has committed crimes, like some of the abuse issues sound illegal like assault etc., can you tell him you will file a complaint with the police unless he agrees to undergo therapy supervised medically with his family?
Don't deal with this yourself. Find medical or legal help and get the family around him to insist he goes through it.
RE: Do abusers ever change
http://www.ariseandshine.org/Testimony-&-Translations.html
here is the link to David Berkowitz/Son of Sam who went through a lifechanging transformation
if you talk with any former gang member turned minister, you will see they are a different person,
humbled and thankful they are even alive
it is possible, yes, but it takes more work and more pain and suffering than you can imagine to change this way
So there will be no mistaking it
If you want to help this guy change, it will take a lot more work and his whole family/community standing behind him to do it. So see if you can get them together, get a pastor or anyone who has that degree of faith someone can change. Don't do this alone. If he is serious he will work with pastors, doctors and lawyers to fix what he did wrong.
He can't be consistent with himself much less with you
if he is addicted and abusing drugs. Period.
The first sign that he is coming clean is where he is with recovery.
You can ask anyone who's been thru AA or NarcAnon or whatever.
You can't just say "I believe I am better" and change overnight.
There are deep stages and steps to go through that are quite visible.
He needs medical help and you may have legal issues on your hands.
Use that as leverage to force him to get professional help. He will be so busy, you won't have to worry.
Aw ass hole? It's not that bad.
I didn't see Daddy/Jay reply to this post. First, search for him and read some of what he says about relationships and what he gets out of them.
Secondly, you won't win. You can't win.
I'm in a constant battle with my own desire for revenge even though it's been over, god.. 4 months now. But after 2 narcs and then a socio I know that my own sanity is worth more than any revenge I could get at this point.