have you ever seen your father?
by MeeSo you were in a lot of pressure at home because your mother was giving you a hard time and in school due to bullying? Then you needed to vent and started killing animals and stuck with that habit because it made you feel in control over something?
What are your best and worst qualities?
Do you still think you're a sociopath?
Hmm, interesting. Yet even now, I kill animals. Perhaps I'm a sadist.
Best qualities? I'm ripped, I believe I'm more intelligent than the average person. I love my genetics.
Worst qualities? I am impatient and untrustworthy.
I don't know if I am, I think I am (more so, sure).
by thesugargirlhave you ever seen anyone in his family? ever communicated with them?
in other words, do you have any reason other than your mother to believe he even knows about you?
No, no one in his family cared about my mom and I. They knew about us, according to my mother.
I don't think it really makes a difference if you're a sociopath or not. It seems to me like you have some sociopathic tendencies, that's for sure, but you already knew that. Nobody here can tell you if you're a sociopath or not without knowing you. You could always go talk to a professional if it bothers you.
Dear RF: If you are only 16, and haven't been through any process yet of dealing with any family past this might be tied to, I couldn't say how much is permanently your mindset and how much could be changed over time. I have 2 friends who suffered severe rape/abuse and much of their behavior is tied to that while they are recovering. So not all the destructive behavior or impulses are really them.
Are you interested in resolving as much of this as possible first, to deal with whatever is really you and how much is carryover from things that could change?
I know ppl who totally changed how they responded to things after they went through "generational healing" to remove factors that masked their true potential. some of the natural tendencies may still remain but they become neutral and without emotional issues attached to them. those weird fears or obsessive imbalances can be resolved so you can better see what is going on.
If your parents are Christian, there are only a few resources I trust enough to recommend to them which are listed on http://www.spiritual-healing.us
My friend Olivia is one of them and her # is posted on the reference page.
Some parents may resist this approach to healing that may involve the family around the person to also receive healing. it's hard to know which things are coming from the person or which could change; but once you start resolving issues around the person, it becomes clear which people have fears and conflicts.
You surely sound like a sadist, but it doesn't mean you were born this way. In fact, your share suggests that you developed such behavior to wind down. At first you were to weak to stand up to your bullies and had no comfort at home either, which made you seek for ways to cope with that. Like bullies turn on weaker kids, you started hurting animals. But this might be incorrect depending on your first kill. Was it to seek distraction? Or were you bullied because you were a weirdo who tortured animals?
What qualities of yours bother you the most?
Do you prefer being with people or by yourself? Why?
Could you explain what you meant by telling that you haven't thought you were manipulating people? What manipulation are we talking about?
Do you suffer from inability to socialize with people nowadays?
by MeeYou surely sound like a sadist, but it doesn't mean you were born this way. In fact, your share suggests that you developed such behavior to wind down. At first you were to weak to stand up to your bullies and had no comfort at home either, which made you seek for ways to cope with that. Like bullies turn on weaker kids, you started hurting animals. But this might be incorrect depending on your first kill. Was it to seek distraction? Or were you bullied because you were a weirdo who tortured animals?
What qualities of yours bother you the most?
Do you prefer being with people or by yourself? Why?
Could you explain what you meant by telling that you haven't thought you were manipulating people? What manipulation are we talking about?
Do you suffer from inability to socialize with people nowadays?
I was definitely bullied for being a "weirdo". I was always dissecting insects ever since I can remember.
I don't have a problem with any of my qualities. To be honest, I'm fine of what I have.
I didn't really realize I was manipulating all my friends for them to like me, until I actually thought about it. It was like an instinct almost, the things I say to them are never true. Praising them, feeding them attention, get them to like me mostly so I gain respect.
I do not like socializing much, I mean I prefer being in one on one socializing. I am perfectly capable of socialization with large groups and people, though I sometimes am uncomfortable. Not anxious, I just prefer being by myself or with one other person.
Dear RF I appreciate your honest replies and thoughtful self examination. Since you and your mother have both suffered abuse, I suggest you both work through your issues before assuming any permanent judgments or labels. There are cases like a woman who went hrr whole life without feeling joy or emotion, but after she healed her childhood memories she got her emotions back. Anythingis possible, some things can change some cant.
The key is overcoming fear and unforgiveness. Anything that you associate with negative feelings, fear stress or anxiety. The more you commit to forgive, let go and be open to change, then ppl will come into your life to help you develop your full potential.
Look up the stages of grief, steps of recovery, and forgiveness.
If any of that sounds familiar, you can map where you are in process.
Do you have a friend or teacher you trust to talk through these steps.
If you have anyone you trust to help you and your mom, then start there and try to work out all past issues. Things will improve as you go. You are very mature to start asking these things so keep asking!