Fighting for your own life is orders of magnitude in difference to attempting to take someone else's.
Taking a life is inherently repellent to your average punter, therefore not only was he fighting you, he was also fighting against himself. Trust me, it doesn't take very much to make anyone reconsider killing when they begin to realise how HARD it is to take a life with any real chance of getting away with it.
Interestingly, it is also easier for people to absorb the trauma of taking a life when it is done in defense of someone else. If you kill to protect someone else, you recover better. When you kill to protect yourself, so self-defense, you feel a greater sense of trauma and guilt. If these emotions are part of your spectrum, but I don't see how it would be impossible to have those experiences for every individual with sociopathic traits.
Now, this isn't really what you're talking about, so I guess I am wondering if these feelings aren't kinda normal. The issue seems to be that they are causing a distraction? Do you feel unwilling to attack their role as a distraction or do you feel out of options to do this? And, would it be worth it to make yourself just pick something, hate it or not, and just robotically do it to attempt to put a dent in these thoughts being a distraction?
then you might become known as a notoriously stupid, reckless, disorganized killer
it's a shame, really. I hope they never trace you back to this forum. You don't represent the great people here.
If you ever change your mind and decide to pursue greatness (the only way to get away with killing) you may count on me
Now, this isn't really what you're talking about, so I guess I am wondering if these feelings aren't kinda normal.
What feelings are you referring to? The urge to kill?
To me, the urge to kill feels like a hunger that can never be completely satisfied.
The issue seems to be that they are causing a distraction? Do you feel unwilling to attack their role as a distraction or do you feel out of options to do this?
I have no idea what you're talking about here.
And, would it be worth it to make yourself just pick something, hate it or not, and just robotically do it to attempt to put a dent in these thoughts being a distraction?
I can do things to distract myself from thinking about murder when it's only a fantasy and not an urge. It's only when it becomes an urge that I feel the need to act on it, and it does feel like a need, not a want.