Why did topics get deleted? - 5 - Sociopath Community

Bossroach said:
Good said:
Limey said:
watch your mouth around jim, good. he could fuck you and this site up. pick your battles wisely
im trembling, luna
kek, I'm serious though, I like you and respect you alot for your skills, do you approve of what TC is doing? I don't want to ruin our e-friendship over some bs

I don't care that much either way. Thats why I do not want to moderate, its annoying.

But if we are to look at SC from a point of view of its values, then I do not approve of TC's actions. Cawks shitty spam is not big enough to matter.
I do not care enough to argue my opinion however.

Even if you ddos the site/spam cp/hack or whatever, as long as its not an attempt to personally target me, then we are good, from my point of view. Of course I will try to stop you. Part of the job.

Cawk said:
I'm enjoying the conversation. Can't always have a talk with you. :)

Why not? Look at my embarrassingly high post count, it's clearly not hard to get me talking.

Maybe I took your INTJGOD topic too seriously, and maybe the tongue in cheek over "mastermind" is snarkier than how fitting it otherwise is.
You probably did. I behave narcissistic at times, but it usually lasts only for a short amount of time in form of mental episodes. I go through other episodes such as anger or attention whoring too, without being provoked. It depends on the moment you catch me in.

You were referencing on your INTJGOD day in chat that your "mania" had exhausted itself.

Are these sorts of things that degree of outside of your control? I was taking it from you as more of a game with adrenal spikes from the context, but if this sort of thing comes in Peaks and Valleys... I kinda feel bad about thinking that it was all conscious.

I dunno, I didn't see you as potentially disordered, mostly just deviant. I guess it'd explain the attempts towards detachment though, I tried doing the same thing for a while before coming to the conclusion that expressing myself was stronger.

It's overall a cope method I'd say. Call it what you will.

These moments surprise me from you, as you don't/didn't strike me as humble.

You however strike me less as a narc and more as one who's stuck in a compensatory cycle of confusion.
Mind elaborating on this?

From what I'd been seeing prior anyway, it appears to come about when you've been "triggered". The impression I was left with was that your reactions to people were pretty 1-to-1, they say shit about you and you shit on them back, but in a more literal fashion.

It's why people like Edvard and others (myself included) can see it as you being triggered as opposed to a separate independent issue. When you've tried to go on about how these people aren't getting to you, it's had the appearance of denial when paired next to your tantrums, especially when those tantrums call people out by name.

I think you're pretty smart, which is what throws me for a loop when I see you behaving in ways that lowers your public appearance. Even for those who "don't care how others see them" it tends to lend to a more neutral display.

I swear people call their feelings "logical" when they don't want to directly face them or otherwise want to appear to be above feelings
Nah. I would've posted CP already if I went without thinking about this. When I let out my emotional side, I make sure it won't affect me negatively to the degree it actually matters.

...honestly, me too. It's why I've spent so much time in the mod seat questioning where lines are, so that even when deep into an episode I can still do my "job". I tend to keep it to rigid numbers so that it's not really "me" doing it, but the process doing itself.

If it were to be left up to me without a set of guidelines, I don't want to even think about where that might take me, and what few times I went out of line (like banning Ana for like 30 seconds after she began posting my first name everywhere when I was more of a pussy about it) have served as an example of why I cannot let emotions be what moderates, and why I have to treat mod-me and user-me as two separate people.

As a kid and young teenager, I was the exact opposite of what I'm like today. I was very impulsive, committed crimes without prior planning, attempted murder several times and what not. As if I genuinely lacked a subconscious but it somehow started running when I turned 17 or so.

What do you figure made things change?

In this environment, it takes strength to admit to having feelings, while it's run of the mill to try to say you're practically a hippy automaton.
Depends on how seriously this place is taken. Those who take SC too seriously always tend to leave without looking back not long after.

I disagree.

We have some very, very reluctant lifers here, people who keep trying to leave and can't without some form of outside help.

This place is literal mental torture if taken seriously, but still a bit of time is required to get it through the head of the affected that they could leave it at anytime.

I see it as mental endurance training to take this place seriously, and applied weakness to constantly pull the detachment card.

A lot who practice this detachment now were hurt on here, and are acting like "It doesn't really matter anyway" purely as compensation. Push hard enough through their "I don't care"s and you'll see the opposite surface, loudly. Basically, if they feel the need to constantly announce and justify how much they don't care... guess what, they clearly care, they just hate that they do.

While snark and levity are easy to fall on, it's those moments when I feel either triggered or scared that show me that I have things to work on. This is largely why I have been willing to post darker chapters of my life here, knowing people would mock me over it, from the need to test if anyone "can get to me harder than I get to myself".

They usually stick around for a bit even after they've lost interest.
A "tick" in their heads needs to go off. The realization that this place doesn't really matter.

This is basically how TK was finally able to leave this place. Only once Kiwi gave her back pats and said she was an alright person did she look back at this place and ask herself why she was even here, especially when people here shat on her on the regular.

Instead, I'd rather test your SC values and fight a battle to gain more autonomy for myself and others.
How do you plan on accomplishing this with this strategy? You're juggling a half-baked bandwagon attempt with enough spam to have even past flooders not able to sympathize with you.
Just to make this clear: I'm not looking to get the site killed as long as I'm not banned or it's a very special circumstance. This site is a part of the reward for my battle that lasted 2 years.
If I get banned though, to me this place will be nothing but a pinata tied to a tree branch. A scenario where I'd have nothing to lose. Of course I'll break it with as much power as I can.

I once thought I was better, but time has shown me that with emotions and no guidelines that I can be reduced as well. Even before the BBCBoingo shit I'd responded to Luna's bans with petty backlashes (I made a forum called "Anti-Sociopath Community" where I aired grievances, it doesn't really get much more cringe than that).

While the results were shiny and a lot of it felt really good, I had to lower myself into becoming the sort of spammer I once feared in nightmares, an amalgam of traits and tactics from every spammer I've ever been stuck dealing with paired with my thing about quotes. I was largely not in control during that time with a really strong manic spike allowing me the ability to not sleep, and I only really snapped out of it in a state of confusion when I saw her actually tear down her own forum, as some part of me really thought she'd never shut it down, and that I'd be "that guy" for even longer.

I swear back when you were Furryboy you saw through me, as you'd bring up my username at points of the attacks when no one else thought to.