Sociopath Community

Blanc said: 

I don’t know how to stop the cycle 

 Cease.

Stop acting gay. You're a bisexual. 

Associate.

Blanc said: 

I don’t know how to stop the cycle 

Stop pedaling (peddling). 

- 

she mentions addictive behavior being associated with trauma... 

I was wondering this morning while I was making my coffee, what is at the core of addiction? what is the perfect storm of causes? 

maybe I can understand better how to interrupt it, if I have an understanding of it overall in general. 

life update: I'm so heckin' depressed 

(I've never been this depressed before)

(except from drug withdrawal which doesn't count but that was worse than this but still) 

(I'm really depressed :'( ) 

therapy appointment on the 25th could not of come soon enough. def need more therapy than once a month. 

Blanc said: 

sometimes it feels like im really up high and floaty and im walking on this thin line

like a very inaccurate sense of altitude and gravity, while also feeling like I'm constantly right about to fall 

Blanc said: 

the ground turning to ice and you feel like your feet are moving when they hit the ground 

and it also feels cold like ice and slushy like this when you touch things like, even your shirt 

everything is too slippery and smushy like its all being perceived the wrong texture and elasticity than it physically is 

giving it more movement and give than it physically has as a solid object 

Blanc said: 

sometimes you feel like dizzy like you're moving a lot when you're sitting perfectly still 

or even like everything is spinning 

also during this it feels like other things around you are moving that normally aren't 

like this river here, when in reality its just a road 

the ground moves beneath you 

your surroundings are in motion all around you, and its hard to hold onto anything. like, being on a ride thats going so fast- but you've got no seat belt. you have the horizontal motion flying around you in your perpindicular senses, and then, you also have the distorted sense of just morphing and turning in all sorts of unusual curvatures, that aren't physically possible to achieve 

long periods of time fly by faster than the blink of an eye, and you don't know where the time went, when you finally "come to".. or where you went for that matter. it just seems like you turned off like a light switch. and then someone turned the light back on. 

sometimes you just know you're not right but you don't know how to get back to normal 

 If I ever need life-saving surgery and Blanc is the last surgeon's assist left on earth, get a veterinarian to do it instead.

You're a bit like those guys that watch 'How To Be Alpha' videos nonstop

This seems like a thread devoted to romanticizing mental illness 

It’s important to make space for emotional pain. Writing is just how I cope when I’m feeling off. It helps me in ways that, well. It would take a while to put into words all of the ways in which it helps me. 

But it’s common knowledge journaling typically helps people, so this shouldn’t come as a shock. 

To think that I am connecting with other people about, the more hidden parts of ourselves, is more my goal here. Just the fact we’re all human beings, like. Real human beings. Ya know. And just being human beings together.

So when I share what dissociation feels like, I’m sharing it with people to feel connected, and heal the divide and the great sense of, isolation and detachment one feels as they experience things that are- more common than not. 

At the time when I started going through stuff, I didn’t know of other people out there who I could relate to. But when I did start meeting people I Could relate to, it made me feel so much relief. 

And I became so allured by that sense of relief, that, I sort of created it for myself whenever I needed it, by posting these things here. 

It makes me really happy when someone else can feel, this same relief or, feel a taste of what healing feels like. When two people do come together and talk about, things that, they experience. 

It just helps. It helps to open up and talk about stuff, in a lot of ways. It can be transformative. 

Anyway, I’ll stop rambling. Just want to say, I dont’ want to argue with anyone, and... I hope to be human beings with you, sometime. Any time. Have tea and a chat. Let’s hang. Whatever. 

It’s no big deal. But if you’re not down, that’s totally fine too... I just, I don’t hate you, even when you hate me so. I mean. We could all just vibe. 

What I”m saying is like, I’m extending patience for you, no matter what you say. And I would ask you have that same patience for me. As we are all continually growing in our own ways and are all in different places. 

Come as you are.