The spiritual implications of my experience, with the whole loving this person for no reason at all. It's a twin flame connection. A soul contract. I don't know what she learned from me, maybe she's learning something now while getting railed by some other guy. All I know is I'm the one she's hot and cold with, always called, and she' easily has AVPD, so basically her feelings for me scare her while her nervous system's defenses for danger ha her in a state of confusion. I don't feel as much as before. The battle between my heart and brain was epic, the heart fought well but my brain finally won. What's next will either be more of that, but different, something new and better ( most things would be better ) or nothing. All this in a timely manner too, my relationship with my GF has fizzled off too, and I'm good with that. Freedom.
Ok, I don’t believe in twin flames or even soulmates, so if you genuinely think it’s some kinda spiritual connection that’s beyond your control then I’m not sure I can relate to that.
There are other paragraphs more suitable for you in that post.
but honestly if this were me, I’d ask myself why someone who’d treated me so badly was playing such a major part in my life. Like, don’t you think you deserve a better soulmate than someone who is at best inconsistent and at worst a total user? It just reads at this point like you either deep down don’t think you deserve better, or on some level you actually enjoy being a victim or at least enjoy the drama
Just to get it out of the way, twin flame connections aren't soulmates, it's a chaotic connection where both parties have something to learn from one another. It has a runner chaser dynamic that also switches up between the two. These connections are contracts and it both parties gain something they need. What I learned is to be fine without the love of my life. You might imagine the benefits of being at peace with such a thing, though I don't find it quite comfortable.
I'll leave the soul stuff there and talk about what's happened and what's happening.
Usually I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. Curvy. I'd take a hefty bitch over a skinny princess if I had to be honest. This woman however is quite flat. There isn't a single thing about her I admire except how pretty I think she is. If I had to stand in front of a crowd and say nice things about her, I'd have nothing. Once she went and got me a cupcake. Once. I used to wonder if she casted a spell on me cause I think I'd be happier cuddling with her than banging her. That is, more dopamine from cuddling instead of sex. That's a profound statement and showcases how deeply I feel for her for no visible reason.
I understand something is wrong with her, so it isn't personal.
I also consider the possibility that she has other guys all fucked up over her in similar ways, so while I cannot break free, I just do what I can.
I NEVER call her. I legit never call her no matter how bad I'd like to speak to her. Ever since I showed up at Nabble, that's basically as long as it's been since I called her. I also know there's her reason and my reason for this.
My reason, it's for my protection. That woman showed me twice how she has the capacity to gaslight me and I'd end up in a cell with a chance to prove my innocence. Her reason from me not calling is probably a convenience for multiple reasons. AVPD and her orbiters.
Heh. I'm tired of her. Yes I want it gone. I want it gone ! It's been a long time, The final nail in the coffin.... I have to delete her and Block, though both is impossible cause she would be in a block list that can unblocked. In exchange the years will go by and I'll be wondering how many times she tried to call or if she simply moved on. This is one of those things where we'll split up, then we get really fucking old and if we bump into one another in our last days everything will either stay bottled up in regret, or come pouring out in regret, meanwhile there could be a dozen other old men experiencing the same thing with her, or it's really just me, either way it's really not nice.
I'll tell you this though. If I were fucked up I'd like it if people never gave up on me so easily. Still regardless, I've settled, been out on dates and live life, and I'm generally happy.
Just to get it out of the way, twin flame connections aren't soulmates, it's a chaotic connection where both parties have something to learn from one another. It has a runner chaser dynamic that also switches up between the two. These connections are contracts and it both parties gain something they need. What I learned is to be fine without the love of my life. You might imagine the benefits of being at peace with such a thing, though I don't find it quite comfortable.
I had this therapist once who was actually awful, and I couldn’t take most of what he said seriously cos he was horrendously overweight, but the one concept he did introduce me to that I found actually beneficial was the concept of the drama triangle.
it’s probably something worth looking up as the internet can probably explain it better than I can, but basically it’s the idea that there are three points on the triangle: persecutor, victim, and helper. And people in unhealthy relationships who lack boundaries often either get stuck in one of these roles or oscillate between them.
he was telling me about it cos as a middle child of parents with problems I kinda get permanently stuck in the helper role, always trying to jump in and solve people’s problems but then wondering why I end up with manchildren who can’t work their own microwave and friends who need support but aren’t necessarily there to reciprocate.
it actually sounds like you in all your relationships kinda go between being victim and persecutor, and there’s part of you that even quite likes being in the role of the victim. I’d say it’s possible to step off the triangle and put some boundaries in, but I have a feeling you actually like the drama and wouldn’t want to
I'll leave the soul stuff there and talk about what's happened and what's happening.
Usually I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. Curvy. I'd take a hefty bitch over a skinny princess if I had to be honest. This woman however is quite flat. There isn't a single thing about her I admire except how pretty I think she is. If I had to stand in front of a crowd and say nice things about her, I'd have nothing. Once she went and got me a cupcake. Once. I used to wonder if she casted a spell on me cause I think I'd be happier cuddling with her than banging her. That is, more dopamine from cuddling instead of sex. That's a profound statement and showcases how deeply I feel for her for no visible reason.
is this a roundabout way of saying you usually only think of women as sex objects but you actually quite liked this woman’s personality XD
I understand something is wrong with her, so it isn't personal.
I also consider the possibility that she has other guys all fucked up over her in similar ways, so while I cannot break free, I just do what I can.
I NEVER call her. I legit never call her no matter how bad I'd like to speak to her. Ever since I showed up at Nabble, that's basically as long as it's been since I called her. I also know there's her reason and my reason for this.
My reason, it's for my protection. That woman showed me twice how she has the capacity to gaslight me and I'd end up in a cell with a chance to prove my innocence. Her reason from me not calling is probably a convenience for multiple reasons. AVPD and her orbiters.
Heh. I'm tired of her. Yes I want it gone. I want it gone ! It's been a long time, The final nail in the coffin.... I have to delete her and Block, though both is impossible cause she would be in a block list that can unblocked
but if you delete the number first then it’ll go to a block list with other numbers you’ve blocked and you can’t tell whose number it is?
In exchange the years will go by and I'll be wondering how many times she tried to call or if she simply moved on. This is one of those things where we'll split up, then we get really fucking old and if we bump into one another in our last days everything will either stay bottled up in regret, or come pouring out in regret, meanwhile there could be a dozen other old men experiencing the same thing with her, or it's really just me, either way it's really not nice.
I'll tell you this though. If I were fucked up I'd like it if people never gave up on me so easily. Still regardless, I've settled, been out on dates and live life, and I'm generally happy.
Dude, this isn’t Love In the Time of Cholera. You’re not being kept apart by some complex and inescapable circumstances. She’s just some woman who pied you off and then keeps fucking with you whenever she wants or needs something. Even as someone who tends to oversentimentalise and over romanticise things, even I think you’re overstating this connection. You need to manifest for the universe to send you a better soulmate cos she is just a bit of a shit one tbh
Just to get it out of the way, twin flame connections aren't soulmates, it's a chaotic connection where both parties have something to learn from one another. It has a runner chaser dynamic that also switches up between the two. These connections are contracts and it both parties gain something they need. What I learned is to be fine without the love of my life. You might imagine the benefits of being at peace with such a thing, though I don't find it quite comfortable.
I had this therapist once who was actually awful, and I couldn’t take most of what he said seriously cos he was horrendously overweight, but the one concept he did introduce me to that I found actually beneficial was the concept of the drama triangle.
it’s probably something worth looking up as the internet can probably explain it better than I can, but basically it’s the idea that there are three points on the triangle: persecutor, victim, and helper. And people in unhealthy relationships who lack boundaries often either get stuck in one of these roles or oscillate between them.
he was telling me about it cos as a middle child of parents with problems I kinda get permanently stuck in the helper role, always trying to jump in and solve people’s problems but then wondering why I end up with manchildren who can’t work their own microwave and friends who need support but aren’t necessarily there to reciprocate.
it actually sounds like you in all your relationships kinda go between being victim and persecutor, and there’s part of you that even quite likes being in the role of the victim. I’d say it’s possible to step off the triangle and put some boundaries in, but I have a feeling you actually like the drama and wouldn’t want to
Potentially all 3. Not sure what would make me the persecutor though. Talking about it ? This thread is after all about giving up and I simply brought up the one thing I never wanted to give up on.
I'm a helper too and often take on the role of caregiver without any expectations of returns.
Victim. I've been there but my practices doesn't keep me in the victim mindset. Rather things go smoothly
I'll leave the soul stuff there and talk about what's happened and what's happening.
Usually I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. Curvy. I'd take a hefty bitch over a skinny princess if I had to be honest. This woman however is quite flat. There isn't a single thing about her I admire except how pretty I think she is. If I had to stand in front of a crowd and say nice things about her, I'd have nothing. Once she went and got me a cupcake. Once. I used to wonder if she casted a spell on me cause I think I'd be happier cuddling with her than banging her. That is, more dopamine from cuddling instead of sex. That's a profound statement and showcases how deeply I feel for her for no visible reason.
is this a roundabout way of saying you usually only think of women as sex objects but you actually quite liked this woman’s personality XD
Roundabout. Is that a British accent I hear ? Could be Scottish or whatever. You're European so you wouldn't sound like me anyway.
You might be onto something. At some point I'll say hey let's go out in the back then figure out what we're gonna do. It's more interesting to me. For her I would've given it all up. Another thing about the whole "something to learn" aspect of this connection. She managed to broaden my taste in women and I really would've had no problem exchanging any physical attraction I'd have toward others for her. While I'd check out a scrawny woman now, I'm not settled.
As for her personality. I like what she could've been, I seriously wouldn't want to find another one of these. Do you know what AvPD is ? That's her. I can't do anything about it but if she did the work to manage that I'd hold it down. The condition translates into these cycles of breadcrumbing and running away. It's easier for her to connect with people she doesn't like as much, cause it feels safer and less vulnerable. Her nervous system developed a defense mechanism where close connections = danger. They say childhood neglect and not having her concerns addressed can cause that. Someone with that condition has no problem moving on, but she can't with me.
I understand something is wrong with her, so it isn't personal.
I also consider the possibility that she has other guys all fucked up over her in similar ways, so while I cannot break free, I just do what I can.
I NEVER call her. I legit never call her no matter how bad I'd like to speak to her. Ever since I showed up at Nabble, that's basically as long as it's been since I called her. I also know there's her reason and my reason for this.
My reason, it's for my protection. That woman showed me twice how she has the capacity to gaslight me and I'd end up in a cell with a chance to prove my innocence. Her reason from me not calling is probably a convenience for multiple reasons. AVPD and her orbiters.
Heh. I'm tired of her. Yes I want it gone. I want it gone ! It's been a long time, The final nail in the coffin.... I have to delete her and Block, though both is impossible cause she would be in a block list that can unblocked
but if you delete the number first then it’ll go to a block list with other numbers you’ve blocked and you can’t tell whose number it is?
Probably not.
Besides if I did that she can always reach me on facebook using the messenger app or some shit. I would need to delete social media and make a new one with a new alias. Too much work, plus I never use the thing, I just keep an open channel to it so people can reach me. Extended family and the such.
Another thing. I like to keep a record of all her texts and call logs. It's for my protection. She might have a crazy ass episode and accuse me of something, then I can prove that I never call her. All my mobile devices live with me and I'll boot them up once or twice a year.
If I really wanted to get rid of her, I'd just tell her I don't want her anymore and to never contact me again and I'd tell her why. For now I've made it so the climate around me isn't the same. I don't respond to her texts unless it's about me, and she will text from now on, that I assure you. I did that. I call it an energetic block and I created it as a way to demand respect.
In exchange the years will go by and I'll be wondering how many times she tried to call or if she simply moved on. This is one of those things where we'll split up, then we get really fucking old and if we bump into one another in our last days everything will either stay bottled up in regret, or come pouring out in regret, meanwhile there could be a dozen other old men experiencing the same thing with her, or it's really just me, either way it's really not nice.
I'll tell you this though. If I were fucked up I'd like it if people never gave up on me so easily. Still regardless, I've settled, been out on dates and live life, and I'm generally happy.
Dude, this isn’t Love In the Time of Cholera. You’re not being kept apart by some complex and inescapable circumstances. She’s just some woman who pied you off and then keeps fucking with you whenever she wants or needs something. Even as someone who tends to oversentimentalise and over romanticise things, even I think you’re overstating this connection. You need to manifest for the universe to send you a better soulmate cos she is just a bit of a shit one tbh
I see the whole paragraph, but that line resonates with me. As a reminder, this thread is giving in to giving up, and I wrote about giving up.
I give up. 2024 I was the one who said I'm only dealing with respectable people from now on. Whao... Haven't heard from her for all of 2025.
The way she returned was exactly how I imagined she would. I examined it, and tossed it back into the sea. I read texts but ignore it. She doesn't ask me for anything now. It's all checking up and I only reply if I feel like talking about myself. The lady is on thin ice, slipping away nice and easy.
Sorry I ran out of space.
But yes giving up. And i know in order for things to enter our lives, we have to let other things go. It's a law.
When my ex broke up with me, she came in as though it were scripted. Things never worked out with my ex and the scuba diving instructor so she came back. Takes the edge off the guilt of cheating I suppose. I think women are like that, so take them or leave them. I never seen a unicorn.
But yes giving up. And i know in order for things to enter our lives, we have to let other things go. It's a law.
That's not actually a law. There is no physical or scientific law stating that something new entering your life requires something else to leave it. At most, it's a metaphor based on limited resources like time, attention, money, or physical space. You can gain a new friend without losing another, learn something new without necessarily losing existing knowledge, or experience something new without giving up an equivalent experience. Calling it a "law" turns a situational observation into a universal claim without evidence.
But yes giving up. And i know in order for things to enter our lives, we have to let other things go. It's a law.
That's not actually a law. There is no physical or scientific law stating that something new entering your life requires something else to leave it. At most, it's a metaphor based on limited resources like time, attention, money, or physical space. You can gain a new friend without losing another, learn something new without necessarily losing existing knowledge, or experience something new without giving up an equivalent experience. Calling it a "law" turns a situational observation into a universal claim without evidence.
Things like this play out. It's not something that can be proven or unproven.
When asked I'd say it's real.
Try losing someone or something dear to you, and watch how fast a new person or thing comes into the picture.
That's all I'm willing to discuss with you about this. Gypsy and I know and recognize something you don't is all.
Things like this play out. It's not something that can be proven or unproven. When asked I'd say it's real. Try losing someone or something dear to you, and watch how fast a new person or thing comes into the picture. Gypsy and I know and recognize something you don't is all.
That's a different claim from what you originally said. If you mean "I've noticed that after losing something, something else often comes along," that's an observation and could certainly be discussed. But if you call it a law, you're making a universal claim about how reality works. And "it can't be proven or disproven" doesn't make it a law. If anything, an unfalsifiable claim gives us no way to distinguish a genuine principle from a pattern you've interpreted after the fact. You can believe the pattern is real from your experience. I'm just pointing out that "I experience this repeatedly" and "this is a law" aren't equivalent statements.
