For the first time in history I gave up on someone I love. 15 years of the same cycles.
Still crosses my mind every single day, but I'm comfortable with my decision.
I also know what to expect if I let them back in and expose them to my inner circle.
I did it for peace of mind. Sometimes we have to guard ourselves.
Here's an example. First I have to set up a back story. I'll try to be brief.
Before the internet we used to talk to chicks on the phone. Met Michelle. She spoke of Mark her Boyfriend. Soon after we were talking to a guy we met at a bus stop. Turned out to be Michelle's boyfriend. Mark.
I go on a date with a girl I liked, my boys show up, one was jealous. Mark showed up too.
Later on the girl I was with called angry, asking who gave Mark her number. We all denied it, but later the jealous one admitted it. Cockblock. My date decided to date Mark. Some kind of revenge. I told my ex date how Mark is with Michelle. I later had to rat out Mark. Everything breaks up, I lose the girl, Mark loses her and he breaks up with my catch I lost to him.
Michelle is now interested in me. She comes over. She's purring like a kitten by my friends foot. The jealous game. I resist. Michelle is talking to my cockblocking friend now, but it's all to trigger me. I feel no way about it.
Michelle invites me to a house party. I go. Michelle is there with a new guy, she spent all night in a room with him, but at one point she pats me on the back "Don't worry you'll find someone".
Now I'm kinda annoyed. I will pick up a chick tonight ! There I met Christine. Cockblock friend number 2 failed to pick up some other chick so now it's resting his head on my catch. Bastard. He gets her number.
I'm at his place and she calls. ( House phones ) He tells her i'm there, she asked to speak to me. He never got the phone back, she was on my nuts. Long story short we're dating now.
One day I'm called upstairs. Cockblock number 1 is on the phone looking sad. It's Michelle, she's on the phone freaking the fuck out that I'm dating Christine. "HE'S MY FRIEND ! CHRISTINE IS A BITCH NO I WON'T ALLOW IT" bitch is balling like she got a dose of her own medicine and couldn't handle it. She's freaking out while cockblock number 1 is realizing he's been used.
Christine is a boomerang. Also the best sex I ever had in my life. As for my Cockblocking friends, I seriously think they placed a curse on themselves, cause ALL, of their girlfriends end up chasing my nuts.
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These experiences can really fuck with people's head. How our own friends can be, how potential mates can be. Happened to me when I was young.
Here's the kicker now....
If a young person consulted me while going through any of this shit. I'd say "Run boy. Take your girl and separate yourself from the rest of them, even your boys who have the audacity to cockblock you".
Back to the one I love. Now I'm just done.
Sometimes what's best is to just give up. Ironically this motivates them to address your concerns and make changes. It's too late. Getting too old.
Politics ? I like to talk about this, and express my opinions, and reasoning as to why I see things a certain way, or where I would cast my vote, and that's all I can do. I do think if you vote Liberal you're most likely dumb as fuck though. Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris. Justin Trudeau, Mark Carney.
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The problem with progressives. What they call progress they already have. They're just concerned that the majority doesn't follow suit. Not enough people doing this and that instead of that and this. Progressives don't stand for what's important or what the masses really want. They want organizations to make changes, like the olympics, Hollywood has become very progressive, and now just about everything they put out turns to shit cause their entertainment is a vessel for social engineering. Unpopular with the majority of Boomers, GenXer, Millennials. GenZ I'm unsure of, they were children when the social engineering began. GenZ being the least experiences and least wise, they have a way to go.