Sociopath Community

You need a heavy bag or something, this stuff sounds like bottling but more primal. 

You pretty much are saying you're going to act on that feeling whether it's immediate gratification or accumulating to a larger boiling point, as when you don't act on it you find yourself reframing the situation until it becomes socially acceptable. It sounds like the only reason you don't act on it immediately is over not having found a reason, yet. 

Does the anger end up getting closure? 

When I'm angry I tend to express it, its a lot healthier than keeping it bottled up. Often it makes me realize that it was a misunderstanding.

I'm careful to only express my anger if there arent any professional or personal consequences. If that happens just vent at your friends and talk it out with them.

Theres no shame in anger, everyone gets angry. You dont have to pretend to be stoic if youre not

Lenalee said: 

I've noticed that i tend to have delayed anger after having reassured myself it was fine and didn't mater and wasn't worth getting angry about. Just absolute resentment and anger I've assured the person days before that it was fine and whatever. 

Need to get the workbook and actually work through it, but at least I'm not throwing things and having knee jerk reactions much anymore

Well, it's nice that you're working towards being a better person. I can respect that. I guess everyone has their shortcomings.

What I usually sense from you is not anger that is bottled up, but rather hatred towards people who fall short of your expectations, and fear of rejection.

I'll be monitoring your progress and will intervene from time to time.

TC- I don't know that i should associate my feelings of anger with punching things. I've broken out of smashing and flinging ceramica on the floor, i can't just leave and be like "wait for me i need to go punch a bag" i do have a kicking dummy but that's more for boredom than aggression.

Cav- i think it's just that having a physical explosive has helped me somewhat get rid of it sooner, but i know that's not an option that is socially acceptable so it feel like i have to bottle it up especially in a workplace environment. I'm definitely not a stoic but i would have preferred some sort of antipathy to reactionary. Venting to my friends is an option but i don't want them to associate me with this anger. It feels shameful to not have control over it.

Tony i don't want your help, you're gross.

There there.

Lenalee said: 

TC- I don't know that i should associate my feelings of anger with punching things.

You can't put that umph into hitting things over how it doesn't actually resolve the bigger issue? That makes it go back to sounding like a closure problem rather than overstimulation or energy buildup with room for hardening blame at the source.

For others at least sometimes it's more of an energy thing, where the problems come more from not having anywhere to put it rather than the context of the problem itself, finding the problems to become easier to handle once less bottled up. 

For myself anyway, I tend to see a certain futility past a point of it and find it easier to put that energy into something else for a little while, since just sitting on it is awful. I also have tried to look at my need for closure as a "Me Problem" rather than insisting they have to do it for me, as oftentimes they can't do a damn thing to fix it anyway. 

Self-directing it has given me more of a feeling of control over it anyway, so it's at least sublimating control freak issues by trying to control myself rather than my environment. I fell into the latter a lot more when I was younger and that's when I began blaming people for OCD shit, it was not healthy, while seeing it as a "me problem" allows it to become a learning experience about my own tendencies and social weaknesses. 

People are fucked up, they can't help a lot of shit they do any more than we can sometimes. What closure is there to even seek in most cases, and once it's done what's really changed? 

I've broken out of smashing and flinging ceramica on the floor

i do have a kicking dummy but that's more for boredom than aggression.

What about a Rage Room? 

I guess studies are conflicted on if it actually helps relieve the anger or enables the anger further, but I dunno I can't relate to wanting to break things at all. My mind immediately jumps into fatality and price tags, it ruins any passion that could have been found from breaking a thing. 

i can't just leave and be like "wait for me i need to go punch a bag"

If you are already holding onto that anger then you could be trying to release it into said heavybag later, if not some other outlet becoming somewhere to put that energy rather than letting it stew. 

That being said you seem sure it's not an energy problem. 

This is specifically why. You don't treat me as a person. You don't respect me as a person and i don't have to put up with it or tolerate it 

TC. Violence won't solve that. Working out will, but not lashing out.