Sociopath Community

EWWWWW 

PEACH EATS HER OWN SCABS

WTF

*PUKES ON THE FLOOR*

Xadem said: 

EWWWWW 

PEACH EATS HER OWN SCABS

WTF

It is gross, but I've done that before. 🤦

Used to bite my fingernails a lot too, and when those ran out I went for the skin next to it. Compulsive stuff's pretty weird. 

Turncoat said:

It seriously felt amazing, better than sex on MDMA that's for sure.

Sex on MDMA is kind of like... slimy yet satisfying, the tactile sensations get a little confused but it still hits the brain a little harder than normal. Pain is like a fresh sip of fresh squeezed juice after getting out of the hot tub, a cold chill to the body while everything feels like it's waking up for the first time. Rather than swimmy it still feels sharp and bracing, but the aftershock feels like the pleasant exhaustion of when you've been being pegged for a long period of time with a gluttonous dizziness for it to happen again.

It's so much easier to be reduced to begging like that as the sensations become a bit more Picasso, things aren't supposed to feel that good. It really sells the "I'd do anything to feel that again" mindset, hitting on the slave-zones harder than I am used to. The semi-numb tactile pleasure actually ends up louder that way with less walls to interrupt it, others not into pain would probably find it more disturbing than normal pain.

I've never had sex on mdma nor done bdsm while using. 

Now I am really looking forward to it.  

Over the years I've become partial to Twisted Monk's candles personally

I've done multiple candles, many of which either didn't burn enough or had shit in it that made it not stop burning once it started in a bad way. These candles have the perfect wax point, it stings differently and then fades super fast like a quick pin prick. The cup shape is also super convenient for pouring, the mess doesn't end up getting everywhere and it consolidates the heat quite nicely.

These look perfect. 

When we first started out we began with soy candles because they burn less hot then then paraffin ones. I assume these are a blend given they are made specifically for bdsm purposes. A pure paraffin candle burns really hot and will scar in the right circumstances. 

...I've had a lot of daydreams of getting branded, it seems like it'd be very different from getting a tattoo.

I've also daydreamed tons of times about how amazing tattoos must feel. I accompanied some friends of mine to watch them go through it and I swear that range was already semi-orgasmic looking even for normies.

Really though, meeting a masochist with the gall to burn herself with cigarettes when bored was the one to get me to steer clear of the idea, her narrative made it sound like doing cocaine.

I have never had a cig put out on me but I think Peach has had this happen, though it may have been on accident. 

My first burn was at 13. One of my crew members dad was an alcoholic and on a summer night we were all hanging around a fire pit. Somehow in conversation it became appropriate for me to request for the dad to poke me with the hot iron stick he was using to manage the fire and he did. It was very satisfying and because he was drunk he pressed to hard, I had that scar for at least 5 years. He was horrified that he did that though once he woke up the next morning, I am sure he feared I would tell my parents or something. I never told them and I kept it covered until it healed. 

I figured that picture wasn't the goal, but it looks like a really, really good happy button.

I bet touching it during the healing still stung a lot, in a different way even.

 Its by far craziest scar I have not including my surgery scar and I am proud of it. 

 Whenever I see a new doctor or nurse they always mistake it for a surgery scar. 

I figured the knives would be sterilized at the very least with a heat source or something.

Absolutely, safety is a must and especially now. 

That's what is interesting about people into bdsm. We may be a bit demented for having extreme tastes but we are quite thoughtful and take a lot of precautions so that the preconditions for actually practicing it is a safe environment.  

I was more pain tolerant as a kid, I even stapled my thumb on accident and for some reason didn't react to it, but as I got older I kinda started to semi-get off to accidental pain, a lot. It lacks the limits that would be there if I were intentionally trying to hurt myself, it sucks that it can't be like that on purpose. Also making an orgasm noise in public from harm was really, really embarrassing (and to some degree still can be depending on the context).

I end up enjoying pain even when it's from people I don't like, even injuries like being bitten from a dog through my thumb. There is seriously something wired wrong up there, when I'm not supposed to enjoy it it's really distracting. It makes my reflexes sometimes go towards the harm rather than away from it, it's in a survival sense completely counter-intuitive.

I am not laughing at the image of you cumming while stubbing your toe at thanksgiving dinner in front of family. 

I do not have that kind of relationship with pain. You really like pain for the sake of it, which is handy given what we like to do. The more someone enjoys something the more I enjoy it. 

I just did martial arts growing up and kinky shit with partners. While I have enjoyed a lot of stuff I still have a lot of layers of harm superstition to work through with experience.

I know it'll feel good, that's never been the problem. The problem is moreover how the worse it is the better it feels, I can't just let instinct be at the wheel all the time. How much I love the feeling of pain is often outweighed by the fear that I won't stop it from becoming something fatal, because there is a hedonistic deathwish there for it that is not held back by physical sensations, but rather by ideas in my head over permanent injury.

The wall is just mental, that's a thin wall.

Having those harm superstitions isn't necessarily a bad thing. A big part is having the right person to inact that pain. They can push you to the edge of your limits and test them, make you disappear into the experience, but you are never going to die. 

AliceInWonderland said: 

Cavalier said: 

AliceInWonderland said: 

Good said: 

i love restrains and leashes, ive done some self bondage as well

 I want to get more into this. The forced orgasm/milking aesthetic is pleasing.  

 This seems so predatory. Abusive cis "mistresses" taking advantage of emotionally vulnerable trans girls.

We are into cis men and women too. 

If anything my preferences would place me in the pansexual category. 

Is Alice trans btw? She gives me serious trans vibes

My typical approach to online life is to allow users and communities to see me as whatever gender they like. 

I would be lying if I said that didn't of lead to the conclusion that I am trans or something along those lines, it is a sensible hypothesis all considering. This practice has led to some interesting dynamics as well because I have been privately invited to several intellectual but male dominated servers filled with extremely sexiest users who I slowly win over given my ability to stay on topic and contribute. 

Cavalier said: 

How would femboys feel about your terf views?

I am part of several online math and logic communities, you see a lot of lgbtq people interested in those subjects now a days. In private conversations people are very receptive and informative. I mostly have interest in the underlying philosophical assumptions of the ideologies that most people fall into whom also call themselves lgbt+, so I never come off as a terf. 

It's hard to be a terf when you're not even necessarily a feminist in any proper or accepted sense. 

Also, Hello cav. 

 You never answered the question. Also boxing? Gives me a lot of trans vibes. 

Did you hear about TC getting cucked in the past year?

Cavalier said:

You never answered the question. Also boxing? Gives me a lot of trans vibes.

Did you hear about TC getting cucked in the past year?

Yes, I kept up with crow very briefly via discord. 

AliceInWonderland said:

These look perfect.

Her sister claims to have met god while getting one of hers. I am interested in how that kind of pain compares to what else I've experienced.

See this is when I get rude questions like "How often does her sister masturbate?", to try to figure how much of that might have been a built up tension-release versus that being her first time in subspace or something. 

A lot of people get semi-different responses, but how pent up they were seemed to play a part with the pain releasing a pleasure response for them. The ones more casually having sex tended to more writhe like it was interesting while the more repressed ones did eye clenches and even some back arching. 

I wish I could know what getting one feels like without actually getting one, nothing seems good enough to put on my flesh as something permanent. I've thought of death tattoos to commemorate people who had a big impact on me but so far they're all still alive. 

I have never had a cig put out on me but I think Peach has had this happen, though it may have been on accident.

The woman I met's started when her dad would put out his cigs on her, that's how she discovered pretty young that she was into that. 

The scars from his were pretty nasty, hers weren't pressed in as hard or she'd do it on a certain one. 

Somehow in conversation it became appropriate for me to request for the dad to poke me with the hot iron stick he was using to manage the fire and he did. It was very satisfying and because he was drunk he pressed to hard, I had that scar for at least 5 years. He was horrified that he did that though once he woke up the next morning, I am sure he feared I would tell my parents or something.

Okay how the hell did that end up happening? 🤣

I can't imagine getting trashed enough to burn a kid under normal circumstances, that's bizarre over whatever was (or wasn't) going through his head at the time, like was he absent-minded or a latent sadist blacking out? 

That's what is interesting about people into bdsm. We may be a bit demented for having extreme tastes but we are quite thoughtful and take a lot of precautions so that the preconditions for actually practicing it is a safe environment.

You need to be in good shape to keep enjoying it, they basically follow the Epic Mealtime model (with their's being one day of abuse with six days of prep). Breaking something or burning something numb means it can't be used again, it becomes the last time that sensation could ever be felt there. 

A good number of people who do kink are into stuff like Yoga, if not something else for limberness like Gymnastics, and have tended to have a healthier diet if they aren't doing pig-style self-abuse. Some kinks like ropebunny stuff requires you to at least have a knowledge of stretching in advance. 

It also seems like people who take up a healthy lifestyle are the ones given a chance to test their pain thresholds, some find out things about themselves in that format, especially with fighting. 

I am not laughing at the image of you cumming while stubbing your toe at thanksgiving dinner in front of family.

Thankfully those reactions are dry, but it has had me enter a post-arousal state before which is super weird with people looking at me. 

In the lighter ranges it's ranging between being tickled and a 3 second burst of an upper with a giggly refractory period if it was a good one. 

I do not have that kind of relationship with pain. You really like pain for the sake of it, which is handy given what we like to do. The more someone enjoys something the more I enjoy it.

Yeah, I've seen it help with even getting non-kinksters to adopt a more violent mindset. Some really take to it with a sort of wide-eyed glee, that usually tells me something's there. Even if they are more squick about it it still tells a story once they're willing to hit me at least once. People really display a lot during a primal gesture, especially if initially reluctant to act on it. It's really pretty. 

The mixed signals fuck with some empathic types, they end up understanding what it's doing for me and act on different behaviors once they notice. They see the lust signals coming from hurting someone and it triggers both responses at the same time, then when full blown conditioned to the combined sensations it's lent to a sort of sexual confusion when trying the same shit with new partners. 🍿

The only ones who don't end up liking it tend to be more pure dom, since it makes it that much harder to make threats of punishment a thing. The bravado the feeling gives makes it hard to not be kind of an asshole if they're blueballing the pain receptors, lending to a sort of antagonistic form of flirting. Even if I'm supposed to be polite the urge is bratty if they aren't "doing their job" and "need the encouragement", but this has had me goad some people into zones that surprised them mid-gesture over being done in public. 

It's great when they get the "Wait there's other people here" look. 

Having those harm superstitions isn't necessarily a bad thing. A big part is having the right person to inact that pain. They can push you to the edge of your limits and test them, make you disappear into the experience, but you are never going to die.

Yeah but if I know what it feels like I'll have a better understanding of it, I want to know. 

I look at cuts and I know my mind is cobbling older memories together to try to relate to it, rather than actually relating to it. I've only met like two other people who had this specific problem, they were pretty demented and freaky in ways that served as a warning, but I also know that is me and some part of me really wants to know, to be able to actually feel it and be able to narrate how it was different. 

The safety factor makes it feel like it's just an arbitrary taboo sometimes, like vanity isn't even a real reason to not bother with it. That kind of thinking used to have me punching a wall every day just to feel more alive, but past a point my hand got stiff which was my clue to stop. It's taken a lot of clues to learn to stop, but holy shit it's such an appetite. 

Xadem said: 

EWWWWW 

PEACH EATS HER OWN SCABS

WTF

*PUKES ON THE FLOOR*

 

 I eat Alice's scabs sometimes too, if they are thick.

PalePeach said: 

Xadem said: 

EWWWWW 

PEACH EATS HER OWN SCABS

WTF

*PUKES ON THE FLOOR*

 I eat Alice's scabs sometimes too, if they are thick.

I can't tell if it's weirder that you do it willingly or that I've done it over my own compulsively before. 

They're gross and weirdly textured, I don't get it beyond it being an idea sometimes. 

Turncoat said:

I see how it's meant to melt into a natural cup at the top, but it also looks to turn into a smaller cylinder overtime? I question how you're meant to put that down if you need both hands for something, the rope attachment makes it seem like, rather than being mess-free, that it'd drip straight down.

...okay those suddenly sound very interesting for a bondage situation, the wick would let it keep burning upwards while the wax drips down onto whoever's beneath it, right?

Exactly. 

The wick is exposed so if you want to experiment with flame that's easy regardless of how much of the candle you use, plus given it can hang all kind of new games can be played. I am imagining someone Bounded flat on their back with those hanging over their chest dripping hot wax while peach and I tease and torture their lower half with Ice. To different sensations at once. 

See this is when I get rude questions like "How often does her sister masturbate?", to try to figure how much of that might have been a built up tension-release versus that being her first time in subspace or something.

A lot of people get semi-different responses, but how pent up they were seemed to play a part with the pain releasing a pleasure response for them. The ones more casually having sex tended to more writhe like it was interesting while the more repressed ones did eye clenches and even some back arching.

I wish I could know what getting one feels like without actually getting one, nothing seems good enough to put on my flesh as something permanent. I've thought of death tattoos to commemorate people who had a big impact on me but so far they're all still alive.

I don't know if she has ever masturbated. She is one of those super judgy types that look down at you if you've had sex before marriage or have ever smoked weed. At the same time I can't imagine anyone not having masturbated given how amazing it can be. 

I am unsure of how painful a tattoo can really get. I've been put through a lot of pain including being sutures, how bad could a tiny needle be really? I will probably get something somewhere no one can see just to find out, maybe in a notoriously painful spot. 

Painful tattos may just be a normie meme.

The woman I met's started when her dad would put out his cigs on her, that's how she discovered pretty young that she was into that.

The scars from his were pretty nasty, hers weren't pressed in as hard or she'd do it on a certain one.

 That's next level abuse, she must be pretty damaged.  

Okay how the hell did that end up happening? 🤣

I can't imagine getting trashed enough to burn a kid under normal circumstances, that's bizarre over whatever was (or wasn't) going through his head at the time, like was he absent-minded or a latent sadist blacking out?

He was pretty crazy guy now that I think about it. He also used to chase me around their house with scissors because he wanted to cut my hair. I would play act being scared but also be giggaling the whole time. I can't even recall how those events took place I just remember that I enjoyed them and never really felt like I was in harms way. I am still pretty good friends with one of his sons. 

Evidently he did have  a drinking problem for some time given it was a big deal that he became sober, but that only lasted about 5 years before he started hitting the bottle again.  

You need to be in good shape to keep enjoying it, they basically follow the Epic Mealtime model (with their's being one day of abuse with six days of prep). Breaking something or burning something numb means it can't be used again, it becomes the last time that sensation could ever be felt there.

A good number of people who do kink are into stuff like Yoga, if not something else for limberness like Gymnastics, and have tended to have a healthier diet if they aren't doing pig-style self-abuse. Some kinks like ropebunny stuff requires you to at least have a knowledge of stretching in advance.

It also seems like people who take up a healthy lifestyle are the ones given a chance to test their pain thresholds, some find out things about themselves in that format, especially with fighting.

Indeed, for us since there is so much scaring we have to take breaks in between that kind of play to allow everything to heal. We go between lighter play like ice cubes and wax to more extreme kinds with knifes and fire. 

The only other person I ever knew who was into anything bdsm related was into aerial silks, she was incredibly flexible and had insane core strength. When i asked about it she conveyed that in her circles beyond aerial silks you'd either end up into old timey dance, bdsm, or both as side hobbies. 

Yeah, I've seen it help with even getting non-kinksters to adopt a more violent mindset. Some really take to it with a sort of wide-eyed glee, that usually tells me something's there. Even if they are more squick about it it still tells a story once they're willing to hit me at least once. People really display a lot during a primal gesture, especially if initially reluctant to act on it. It's really pretty.

The mixed signals fuck with some empathic types, they end up understanding what it's doing for me and act on different behaviors once they notice. They see the lust signals coming from hurting someone and it triggers both responses at the same time, then when full blown conditioned to the combined sensations it's lent to a sort of sexual confusion when trying the same shit with new partners. 🍿

The only ones who don't end up liking it tend to be more pure dom, since it makes it that much harder to make threats of punishment a thing. The bravado the feeling gives makes it hard to not be kind of an asshole if they're blueballing the pain receptors, lending to a sort of antagonistic form of flirting. Even if I'm supposed to be polite the urge is bratty if they aren't "doing their job" and "need the encouragement", but this has had me goad some people into zones that surprised them mid-gesture over being done in public.

It's great when they get the "Wait there's other people here" look.

Was crow already preconditioned to be into this sort of thing when you met her or is it something you got her into via the kinds of processes above? She seems like she could be the sadistic type and is sexually open. 

Yeah but if I know what it feels like I'll have a better understanding of it, I want to know.

I look at cuts and I know my mind is cobbling older memories together to try to relate to it, rather than actually relating to it. I've only met like two other people who had this specific problem, they were pretty demented and freaky in ways that served as a warning, but I also know that is me and some part of me really wants to know, to be able to actually feel it and be able to narrate how it was different.

The safety factor makes it feel like it's just an arbitrary taboo sometimes, like vanity isn't even a real reason to not bother with it. That kind of thinking used to have me punching a wall every day just to feel more alive, but past a point my hand got stiff which was my clue to stop. It's taken a lot of clues to learn to stop, but holy shit it's such an appetite.

Okay, I totally get that. 

I really like sexual aesthetics and am a total pervert to some degree, I desire to try everything. I am not sure I will like everything but I have a deep urge to experience it at least once so that I know that its like - the more primal and raw the better. Luckily Peach has played a big role in me actually being able to actualize a lot of it, at least those things that have to do with masochism and feeling like a Alpha Chad while slamming her into orgasms. 

We've only just become open to the idea of actualizing everything we fantasize about that would necessarily involve others. 

In relation to this actual thread topic if you'd like we probably would meet up with you the next time we are traveling near Ohio. To not seems like a missed opportunity given your exact mapping between pain and pleasure. However, as you know from the other instance we almost met I am very cautious. 

AliceInWonderland said: 

Turncoat said:

See this is when I get rude questions like "How often does her sister masturbate?", to try to figure how much of that might have been a built up tension-release versus that being her first time in subspace or something.

A lot of people get semi-different responses, but how pent up they were seemed to play a part with the pain releasing a pleasure response for them. The ones more casually having sex tended to more writhe like it was interesting while the more repressed ones did eye clenches and even some back arching.

I wish I could know what getting one feels like without actually getting one, nothing seems good enough to put on my flesh as something permanent. I've thought of death tattoos to commemorate people who had a big impact on me but so far they're all still alive.

I don't know if she has ever masturbated. She is one of those super judgy types that look down at you if you've had sex before marriage or have ever smoked weed. At the same time I can't imagine anyone not having masturbated given how amazing it can be. 

I am unsure of how painful a tattoo can really get. I've been put through a lot of pain including being sutures, how bad could a tiny needle be really? I will probably get something somewhere no one can see just to find out, maybe in a notoriously painful spot. 

Painful tattos may just be a normie meme.

You see, I don't really know that, but when looking at more hardcore Tattoo People, the ones more in it for the art rather than some sort of skin dysmorphia? They're a little different, some part of them looks like a person used to casual sex even if that's not their lifestyle at all, I think it touches on similar zones and some of the ones who get a zip from it keep coming back.

I've asked a bunch of times and most just say something dull like "it's different", at most reliving an echo of the sensation while bad at wording it. Then the one who made it sound like coke came along and it essentially confirmed the thing I was worried about; That once it's done that it'd become this hollow echo that wants to keep being fed.

The woman I met's started when her dad would put out his cigs on her, that's how she discovered pretty young that she was into that.

The scars from his were pretty nasty, hers weren't pressed in as hard or she'd do it on a certain one.

 That's next level abuse, she must be pretty damaged. 

Yeah, it was pretty hot. 😓

We were basically trading notes and stories on it, comparing and at points flexing a bit. She won, she's way more open to a good time than I was and I envy that. She didn't have any of the hesitation that stops me from trying new things, she looked like she had a caffeine drip straight to the blood just narrating it.

Okay how the hell did that end up happening? 🤣

I can't imagine getting trashed enough to burn a kid under normal circumstances, that's bizarre over whatever was (or wasn't) going through his head at the time, like was he absent-minded or a latent sadist blacking out?

He was pretty crazy guy now that I think about it. He also used to chase me around their house with scissors because he wanted to cut my hair. I would play act being scared but also be giggaling the whole time. I can't even recall how those events took place I just remember that I enjoyed them and never really felt like I was in harms way. I am still pretty good friends with one of his sons. 

I was about to say, how did his kids react to his antics? They had to live with the guy.

You need to be in good shape to keep enjoying it, they basically follow the Epic Mealtime model (with their's being one day of abuse with six days of prep). Breaking something or burning something numb means it can't be used again, it becomes the last time that sensation could ever be felt there.

A good number of people who do kink are into stuff like Yoga, if not something else for limberness like Gymnastics, and have tended to have a healthier diet if they aren't doing pig-style self-abuse. Some kinks like ropebunny stuff requires you to at least have a knowledge of stretching in advance.

It also seems like people who take up a healthy lifestyle are the ones given a chance to test their pain thresholds, some find out things about themselves in that format, especially with fighting.

Indeed, for us since there is so much scaring we have to take breaks in between that kind of play to allow everything to heal. We go between lighter play like ice cubes and wax to more extreme kinds with knifes and fire. 

I had to do that for healing with bruises, but impatience is a thing when just caressing a bruise is ngh.

The only other person I ever knew who was into anything bdsm related was into aerial silks, she was incredibly flexible and had insane core strength. When i asked about it she conveyed that in her circles beyond aerial silks you'd either end up into old timey dance, bdsm, or both as side hobbies. 

Oh god ballet lends to some really messy masochism, as part of the profession. They learn to compartmentalize their needs in favor of consistent movement, the ones not doing it slowly or more freely kinda shut off and become robots sometimes, which can play into the scene depending on what they're getting out of it. I know my performing arts school produced a surprising number of kinksters, which was strange until I began seeing similar patterns from those who did similar things elsewhere.

The idea of it's kind of horrible over how it's disfiguring but there's something about the art that yields really good results from it.

Yeah, I've seen it help with even getting non-kinksters to adopt a more violent mindset. Some really take to it with a sort of wide-eyed glee, that usually tells me something's there. Even if they are more squick about it it still tells a story once they're willing to hit me at least once. People really display a lot during a primal gesture, especially if initially reluctant to act on it. It's really pretty.

The mixed signals fuck with some empathic types, they end up understanding what it's doing for me and act on different behaviors once they notice. They see the lust signals coming from hurting someone and it triggers both responses at the same time, then when full blown conditioned to the combined sensations it's lent to a sort of sexual confusion when trying the same shit with new partners. 🍿

The only ones who don't end up liking it tend to be more pure dom, since it makes it that much harder to make threats of punishment a thing. The bravado the feeling gives makes it hard to not be kind of an asshole if they're blueballing the pain receptors, lending to a sort of antagonistic form of flirting. Even if I'm supposed to be polite the urge is bratty if they aren't "doing their job" and "need the encouragement", but this has had me goad some people into zones that surprised them mid-gesture over being done in public.

It's great when they get the "Wait there's other people here" look.

Was crow already preconditioned to be into this sort of thing when you met her or is it something you got her into via the kinds of processes above? She seems like she could be the sadistic type and is sexually open. 

Crow grew to like it pretty quickly, but the appetite was only there occasionally. We had some fun times but ultimately it proved to feel like work to her rather than something decadent she couldn't put down.

Eventually the pain stopped almost entirely, save for a rare moment or her taking me to Heart Attack Grill or something. It didn't really occur to her naturally past a point, but during the initial excitement it was like having a new toy.