finish college in general is better
depends on your degree, job, country, and understanding of your career path tho.
It's IT, I'm working at a really good IT job that would already give me the work experience and shit I need, technically the shit I'm going for, a certification would be on par with it, which would be way easier than the mountain of work academia requires me to do.
So many fixations on labels, I guess I have that too but I swear others fixate too much. Their IQ, what some online test that asks vague yes or no questions say, etc. Like a political compass, are you a psychopath? Do you have autism? What personality type are you? Etc etc. Meaningless garbage in the end, I don't know who I am all the time, I look at a mirror a lot, into my own eyes trying to understand exactly what it is I am, what is my destiny? Etc, retarded confusing shit happens. In the end though, its worthless, its just a curse I have where I try to understand myself more but only time can tell, and I wouldn't deny that some of my dreams and desires are potentially delusional. larpy, and may end in a retarded fate and if I were to get remembered maybe I'd be a lolcow, it doesn't matter though as it's what I get leaky eyes of, and strong passionate feelings, as I enter a euphoric haze of grandiosity. If I fail and die, whatever I tried.
All I know is that taking online tests or reading sensationalized bullshit won't help. It will only further confuse you, and you won't be satisfied.
Alexander Dugin said:"Never before has individualism been glorified so much, yet at the same time, never before have people all over the world been so similar to each other in their behavior, habits, appearances, techniques, and tastes. In the pursuit of individualistic ’human rights’.... humanity has lost itself. Soon man will be replaced by the post-human: a mutant, cloned android.“
With improvements in life, its thrilling and scary. I fear failure somehow, and I have given up toxic aspects about myself, and trying to learn who I am and shit.
Hot tears roll down mine cheeks as I wish the one I care about most would accept the life insurance, they are a beautiful human being, and if I died. I'd want my wealth to help them in their life. They were real, even if I can't be with them, and I accept that. Realer than me.
Alcohol, Euphoria and confused thoughts, and tears. I don't know if I'll ever find someone who can connect with me on a level that I even desire. I can barely understand my own thoughts as is, just compelled to dream and wish to make something that I struggle to fathom.
It's strange. To imagine beauty, and perhaps someone like me, as I plunge a knife into those who I thought were close because all I see are demons.
Demented, Deranged. While I sit here in what feels like is meant to be serenity, and I feel a calmness, I still feel anger, I feel hate, the urge to brutally beat down and murder degenerates who dare torment our existence. I imagine trophies, furniture, effigies of their corpses burned as a symbol of hatred and destruction cast upon whatever "Satan" is.
If my death meant the materialization of this beautiful image, as hard as it may be to comprehend then by all means. I would sacrifice myself, even if I can't see it. I would hope others would be able to appreciate it's beauty, and a better world realized.
Even if I fail, and it doesnt come in my time, if inspired to others greater than I, then I think I would be satisfied.
Perhaps a deranged, delusional fool I am.
Perhaps fiction is what I preach.
If so, and I am truly evil, then may I fail if necessary. It's confusing for me. I
I'm just glad some things are improving to allow me to continue my goals.
https://arcig.bandcamp.com/track/eternal-return
I am not blackpilled, if that's something you take my posts for, you are severely mistaken. Even if I may have feelings of sadness to some degree at times, I reject Nihilism. It's poison, and even with my ramblings on the future of the world going to shit, not once do I cry about how we're all going to die. It's useless to be useless, in of itself. Why fucking give up? Most Nihilists cry and bitch all day about their lives, about their misanthropy, their degenerate depraved thoughts.
Just the truth, you hedonistic mutant dogs. Weak men, Weak fucking MEN, A WORLD OF FUCKING WEAK, DISGUSTING DEPRAVED DEMONIC MEN, USING WOMEN AS OBJECTS FOR THEIR SOULLESS HEDONISM, AND SOME WOMAN ARE OKAY WITH THAT, SOME OF THEM ARE DEMONIC BITCH GOBLINS, A COALITION OF DEGENERATE MUTANT FUCKS THAT ARE PERVERSIONS OF MANKIND, REPRESENTATIONS OF DECADENCY, DEBAUCHERY, THE EVILS AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE
REMEMBER THAT YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND BE HAPPY, BUT DONT WORRY THE FUTURE IS ACCESS NOT OWNERSHIP, UNDER THE BEAUTY OF LIBERALISM, BROTHELS SHALL BE EVERYWHERE, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, EAT THE BUGS AND FUCK, LOSE YOUR HUMANITY, SO THAT THE FAT MUTANTS AT TOP WILL CONTINUE TO PERSIST
WATCH SALO 120 OF SODOMY AND SEE THE TRUE FACE OF FASCISM, THAT IS THE ENTIRE PHILOSOPHICAL IDEOLOGY OF LIBERALISM.
EVIL SATANIC GARBAGE, EVIL MUTANT GARBAGE.
I AM NO SAINT, I AM NOT GOOD, MAY I BE JUDGED WHEN THAT TIME COMES AND IF I AM UNREDEEMABLE CAST ME INTO IN WHATEVER "HELL" EXISTS.
One of my friends, continues to tell me about all the women he's fucking, and the different races "NEver had an asian till tonight, man it was great" Ofc in your coomer brains you see that as me jealous, it's not jealously. It's disgust, disgust to indulge in such hedonism. Persistent thoughts to cave his skull in when I've come to realize all he ever did was use his ex for sex, that he didn't even love her? He casted her aside when he was done, and moved on to indulge in more hedonism.
He thinks "we're the same" and tells me how he thinks the other 2 need to get laid, meanwhile they all jerk off to the pokemon professor of whatever new pokemon game. Literal fucking mutants.
This is "normal" thought for your modernity, Normal thought, this is natural, it's natural to jerk off to video game characters, and to have them drawn, its normal to jerk off to the vast amounts of drawn child porn, totally. TOTALLY
EVEN SO, EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS IS HOPEFULLY OVER ONE DAY, ARE WE DAMNED AS A SPECIES BECAUSE OF IT? NO WE KEEP MOVING FORWARD, WE REMEMBER THIS DEGENERACY FOR WHAT IT WAS AND WE EVOLVE, AND GROW TO BE BETTER, FOR NIHILISM IS JUST ANOTHER ILLUSION THAT BREEDS THIS DEGENERACY
If you see me as fitting into this umbrella of degenerates, if my words make you think I am an incel, or whatever, so be it I guess, I know I'm not pure, I refuse to see myself as such, as I don't hate women, I have no reason to view them as innately evil or somehow soul sucking. I think degenerate ones exist, as do men, lots of them corrupted by modernity and liberalism, porn industry itself is filled with exploitation to destroy the souls of men and women.
If stating this, brings on some sort to thought that I must be like them, because I reject pornography, if thats all you can reduce it to, then sure maybe somehow, idfk. It doesn't matter to me much because I still distinguish myself, and others around me that I speak to know such.
Th-th-th-that's all folks!
