Sociopath Community

Welcome back. 

Turncoat said: 

NotCS said: 

Turncoat said: 

It does seem a little bit like you're trying to fetishize the rape experience. 

 That was kind of the intent because that’s how I see rape now. It’s a fantasy now.

What. 

 She is a rape victim. Rape victims can fantasize and romanticize what happened to them. You should know this tc you are the brilliant psychologist here.  

Get it together woman.

Turncoat said: 

Welcome back. 

 Thanks 🙏  

Delora said: 

Turncoat said: 

NotCS said: 

 That was kind of the intent because that’s how I see rape now. It’s a fantasy now.

What. 

 She is a rape victim. Rape victims can fantasize and romanticize what happened to them. You should know this tc you are the brilliant psychologist here.  

Get it together woman.

 For sure 👍 

💚 My Heart 💚

It’s hard for me to let you in, the pain, I just can’t let it win. I don’t even know how to accept, the hurt inside that I have kept. I hold my breath so it can’t seep, out through my chest and make me weep.

My God, He knows that it is there, yet with every shallow breath I dare to glare because there’s no way I’ll ever admit I care. Forget this life, forget my strife, there’s no way I’ll ever be his wife. He hates me and that’s okay because I have better things to do anyway.

We can’t be friends, I know it’s true because I can’t bare to stop loving you. I know I’m evil and I am mean, so there’s literally nowhere for me to lean. You tolerate me and all I do is make you suffer and pretend you make me too.

I tell you how to hurt me and what do you do? You do just as I thought you would, who knew? I don’t know what I expect when all you do is neglect. When all I do is hurt you, how can there be respect? 

There’s no way I’ll ever let go of my pride because the second I do, there will be no more pain inside. Like a dam that just broke, on my words I will choke because what I say, I don’t mean and what I mean, I can’t say. Without the strength to be gay, there’s no words left to say, because the faggot feelings just won’t go away. 

I refuse to be used and I refuse to be okay, with the back and forth nature of the words that you say. I’m tired of the give and take, I’m tired of staying awake. I’m tired of watching you sleep, because all it does is make me feel like a creep. You don’t like me, you don’t love me, you don’t know me, you don’t owe me.

There’s nothing left between us because there was no one there to mean us. You hide behind your beer, so no one can see your fear, but every time you get near, you run into my persistent leer. I just can’t shake that feeling that you were never here. 

How am I to know if you like me because I’m a hoe, or you hate me because I don’t know, how to control my every woe? Are you just lonely, so you need to be phoney, or are you like me and just need to see? Do you have a number one and can’t seem to get her under your thumb? Was I your last hope because you’re too busy doing dope?

Why would you keep going back to a chick who acts like she’s on crack? You’ve been attacked and treated like crap, so I get why you’d be done with that. I’ve just been confused and feeling used and abused when you refused to be with me, but I can see that there’s really no reason to be. There’s nothing good in sight because all we do is fight.

The reason for our issues doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that they occur that justifies the shatter. I’m too immature to handle anything relating to feelings, so I lash out and try to kill anything that could be thrilling. All I’ve ever wanted was to date you and no matter what you do I could never hate you.

It just kills me that my solution to a fear of not being with you, is to burn you all the way through. Forget the bridges, they can be rebuilt. Destroy the source and there will be no more ridges. How can one fall off of a hill if it loses its elevation and becomes flat and still? 

While I wanted to avoid rejection, I made it the only rational choice, upon reflection. It seemed like a relief, but all it will bring is grief because it wasn’t the uncertainty that I feared, but the realization that because of me, you disappeared.

Now the reality is sinking in and the pain that I wanted to avoid is about to begin. It’s the knowledge that it was my fault, the realization that I could have fought, and the heartbreak of reliving the moments where I could have caught some of your intention had I put in more thought. 

Could I have imagined that you mentioned warnings from your family as a way to say that you were determined? Or interpreted your choices as intentional and not just deterrent? Could I have continued to reveal just how I feel and waited for you to tell me it’s real? Or was it always a lie and you were just waiting for me to mess up so you could say goodbye? Was it my imagination or was I just impatient?

Either way, as of today, I have no way to say what I’d love to say because I cut off every source of communication that has come my way. If there’s no way for me to express how I feel, then there’s no way for my heart to reveal. It’s too late and I’m too easy to scare. You don’t even like me, so why should I care? 

My Father

God is so great, God is so good. He makes me happy like no other man could. He gives me gifts when no one else would, and gives the best gifts, even those that no one else could.

He has a plan, He grants our prayers, He wants us to love Him and He has many layers. He keeps us safe and out of the darkness, we see His face and he gives us grace because He is the light.

He proves Himself to be true and honest in everything He does. He will never leave you if you ask Him to be there, He will never forsake you like He doesn’t even care.

All He wants is for us to go back to Him and be filled with His perfect light. He lights up our lives and makes sure it thrives in a way that makes it worth it to survive.

He is our Creator, my Father, our Friend and Provider. He put us on this earth to spread the Good News, which is His Life (Jesus) the Way and the Truth.

Know the Truth, love the Truth, and live the Truth. That is the Way to eternal life with our Creator, the Most High God, my Father.

He will be back soon, turn from your old ways and turn to Him. Just pick up a Bible and start reading. That is turning to Him.

Then start praying and ask Him to talk to you or guide you to a place where you can get baptized. You can ask for anything, just remember, His will reins supreme, so if it’s against His will, your prayer, He will not fulfill.

That was your own fault / You should have paid attention / And looked through the lie.

This is a haiku from Borderlands 2, the best game ever made

SomeKindaFunnyGuy said: 

That was your own fault / You should have paid attention / And looked through the lie.

This is a haiku from Borderlands 2, the best game ever made

 Not bad. A little incorrect of a statement, but in a way it could be true if the person had God, I guess. They’d know the truth and be expected to see through the lies.

A

You may never know just how sure I was that you’d never show. I threw away the thoughts, but at that moment, I knew. I knew it was you. I knew who sent you and I knew He sent me too.

I kept trying to continue on the path that leads away from you, but God wasn’t going to let me settle for a C. For you see, while I was for him and wanted him to be for me, he was for he and didn’t want to be with me.

I knew it from the start, but I thought I was smart and could change his mind, like I did with everyone else I could find. But he faked his love for me, so I dedicated years of my life to obtaining a C. I thought to myself, should I just wait and see? Why isn’t a C waiting for me?

Those were the thoughts that I pondered before you wandered into my path, like someone who just got out of a long hot bath. You appeared as a normally attractive guy and then you spoke and caught my eye. I mentioned our Lord and Savior and He showed me your favor.

You lifted up the scriptures and all I could do was picture, just how great you must be to be able to see God’s beauty. It wasn’t far from you, it was close by, like you knew you needed it, but didn’t know why.

It was because God knew that I’d want to be with you. He was right because you see, that was the moment I declared you were for me. Perfection is my goal, but you make it seem like it’s your role.

You are not Jesus, but you can easily please us. You have everything we need, with none of the greed. I’m ready to be freed from all of this need, but I’m cautious because I never know where my interest will lead.

My hope is similar to that of a school girl with perfect grades. All else will fade, but I’d like it if you stayed. For I’ve strived for so long and so hard for the perfect companion to my effort. All I want to see is you, oh sweet grade A. I predict that you woo. But if you don’t, it’s okay because your words do.

Each word you write, heals me just from the sight. Although I wanted to give up, I know that it’s right to keep up the fight and let you bring light into my endless void of hope, like a Jesus filled knight.

You complete me like the A in Way. Because without you, I could be left asking why, but instead, I’m here writing this poem, so I can share my life with you as easily as I’d like to and as much as you’d allow.

I know I need to be with you. I just don’t know how, but God will guide us like it’s feeding time for a cow. All I know is that I’m happy now and if all else fails, the memory of this connection will prevail. For as long as there is another day, you’ll always be known as my A 💚

This triggered my PTSD but the rhyming is good

But just because it makes me feel a certain way doesn't mean she shouldn't

Power to you, just because people think you should feel a way about what happened to you doesn't mean you should. You have free will