I decided to reply because it's very well written and also I have never seen Tryp so vulnerable before, he usually only listens to us and never gives anything back.
It's crazy how he has managed to pack so many feelings into one post, from the regrets of not having went anywhere in his life and not having lived his youth to the fullest like he feels the people around him did ,to the feelings of self hatred for not having the courage and willpower to push through in order to go after his goals and things he wanted to experience due to his depression, for not taking more risks, to the insecurity of lagging behind his peers in terms of life progress and experiences, to anger at society for putting expectations of performance and experiences on him (expressed in the form of ascetic cope), and people who he feels are mocking him and looking down on him for these things.
Presumably fueled by how many people around him bragged of travelling different countries, fell in love, risked failure, risked their lives to accomplish their dreams, got heartbroken, got hurt, got into business ventures, did drugs, emotionally bonded, experienced different cultures and religions, experienced new modes of life and thinking, made surplus income, spoiled themselves with it and enjoyed the "shallow" pleasures of life, partied, while Tryp pissed in bottles, played videogames, talked with girls on chats, cleaned his grandpas house, lived on his grandparents social security, drank to cope with his life and his depression, jacked off, watched other people live life through youtube streams and lived vicariously through them, and spent his youth on the Internet, which seems to feed into some sort of inferiority complex and an ascetic cope reaction like when the goth kids put down the chad and stacy for being shallow etc.
He deploys ascetic copes to feel better by saying people have not experienced ephemereal spiritual things he did, in the "so what if you travelled? i did astral travel!" fashion, but it's clearly not working, as you can sense the anger and hatred in the post. This does not come from a place of indifference.Just replace the You with I and it describes him and his life almost perfectly. You can also feel hate in it. maybe too much for him to bear it, thats why he has to externalize it and isolate the feeling from the object (him) it is connected to. He is sour graping material things and life experiences he never got to experience, otherwise he would not even write this post, fuck those materialistic shallow plebs right?
But I also see hope and ambition awakened in him, he wants to catch up to his peers, he wants to let go of his fears and mental obstacles, he wants to live the youth he was supposed to live, he wants to do better in his life and take charge of it, he wants to become a better person. I think rehab is doing way more than alcohol addiction cure, it's also helping him awaken as a person, take responsibility for the trajectory of his life, and prepare him to become an adult and I am excited to see whats next.
It's never too late until you are dead, and there is still plenty of time to live your life and become the person you want to be, you just have to fight through your own mental barriers and wake up, and stop constantly comparing yourself to others, we all have our own journey and it's not a competition.
Wow this whole life philosophy of yours sounds very selfish. If all you see to life is your own personal satisfaction then you are going to end up a very lonely abandoned miserable depressed person. Not once did you even mention helping other people for the good of man kind. Or doing something productive. You seem to be obsessed with youth as if it is something to be prized? There is more to life than satisfying your own needs and wants.
You know jim. All I see of you is a very selfish person. You don't at all seem concerned about any body or anything genuinely. Although all these ventures that you do might be fun in the moment. But in return you will reap what you sow and you are going to end up miserable as fuck.
To appreciate your life based on bullshit satisfaction and youthful fun really sounds like a toxic cocktail recipe for later life loneliness and emotional abandonment. Have fun reaping your rewards in isolation and dying without ever being loved by a single person. You will just be known as a person who ''did alot of things'' and that will be your entire life story. According to your own philosophical take on life you faggot.
