Sociopath Community

NotImportant said:

Drugs came after I was raped, whereas the alcohol was when I was like seven.

This explains a lot, like how Tryp could openly say that you're able to drink him under the table (something he'd not take lightly). You were a young age addict, you don't know any differently, and your liver's probably so shot now that booze is barely anything to you. 

How long did you continue drinking for after you began, and how did you get more before the legal age? 

Being left alone is the culprit for the alcohol, because my understanding of how people think compared to how I think had developed from the tag incident, so I knew I was free to do whatever I wanted as long as I didn’t get caught. I was devising all kinds of plans. 

How differently do you plan on having your daughter live? 

Turncoat said: 

NotImportant said: 

Med said: 

What is it you think about your upbringing or something in your upbringing that made you this way?

Or Is it better to blame it on biology (as for alcoholism) and not kick yourself for choice/s you made or to try to place blame?

please share 

I always wanted to try drugs because I didn’t believe they were all bad. I knew some of them had to be bad, but it’s impossible that they are all bad because if they were, no one would do them. If everyone died when they did drugs, we wouldn’t have any drug addicts. If everyone got addicted to every drug on the first try, then only people who wanted to get addicted would do them. If people want to get addicted, there must be something they get out of it. If there’s something they get out of it, then it must be good in some way.

If all of that is true, then there’s no way that all drugs are bad. If not all drugs are bad, these people are lying to me. I must see for my self one day.

You... what? 

You can literally look up what drugs are doing to people online, there's symptom guides and everything. This is straight retarded, and obviously a coping excuse over the poor self-control you've already admitted to countless times. 

At least Med is trying, clearly lost, while you just sit there inventing excuse after excuse. Between the two of you she's the one more likely to get better. 

That’s what I thought when I was in first grade and they brought a cop in for career day and he said drugs are bad. Then I did research to confirm my suspicions and found out I was right and then realized that everyone just believes what they’re told and doesn’t do anything to figure it out themselves.

You can literally look it up, there's more than a big enough sample size of people who report on these things after trying it, entire videos and case studies on the developmental effects it's had at different points in their lives, you're being straight ignorant. 

Then later, I found out that people are irrationally needy and seem to like me far more than I like them, so I started to hate people for that and that made me hate life because I feel alone because I never cared about someone enough to fight someone just to see who will do their chores for them.

Translation: You're irrationally needy and find others making it about themselves deplorable. 

People value others and do things to their own detriment for others when they don’t even want whatever it is or care about them at all. It was crazy to me.

I couldn’t understand it and I still don’t understand where that comes from, but I’ve sure learned how to fake it.

Not as crazy as watching you distance yourself from your older monologues. 

You're projecting, you've literally rambled on and on about how you do this. 

People think I’m doing things for them, but it’s really for my own benefit. You can tell it is because if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t do it. I’m way too lazy to do extra stuff.

What people think you aren't self-serving? Everyone who's helpful is doing it for themselves, whether they actively notice it or not. 

It's spooky to watch you do these monologues to convince yourself of these things as a form of reinforcement. It's like Blanc except yours doesn't extend into disconnected media sources for relative affect and you clearly believe your own hype like thrice as much. 

Anyway, I do drugs because I hate my life, not because I’m addicted. I stopped for a year and eight months.

You're emotionally addicted to substances as a concept. If you can't do one, you'll move onto another. 

This is still unhealthy. 

I drank before I did any drugs. My mom likes wine, so when she left one time, we drank the rest of the wine.

'We'? 

 I was seven when those thoughts occurred and when you’re that young, you can’t just do whatever you want because you have a schedule and no free time. I had to wait to do my research. We is my siblings and I. All I do is tell the truth and you misunderstand it almost all of the time. 

Turncoat said: 

NotImportant said:

Drugs came after I was raped, whereas the alcohol was when I was like seven.

This explains a lot, like how Tryp could openly say that you're able to drink him under the table (something he'd not take lightly). You were a young age addict, you don't know any differently, and your liver's probably so shot now that booze is barely anything to you. 

How long did you continue drinking for after you began, and how did you get more before the legal age? 

 

Being left alone is the culprit for the alcohol, because my understanding of how people think compared to how I think had developed from the tag incident, so I knew I was free to do whatever I wanted as long as I didn’t get caught. I was devising all kinds of plans. 

How differently do you plan on having your daughter live? 

 I only drank that time, and then in middle school once and then in high school at parties and at the park and in cars and while walking down the street. Then in college forever, and then through law school like every Thursday through Sunday, and then every day after, and then I stopped when I visited Chapo.

I just want her to be happy, so she can do whatever she wants within reason.

What do you mean BP? I have BPD.

I was never shown any affection or love as a child, my mom would push me away from hugs as a baby and hit me whenever she was frustrated. I grew up equally needy as I was violent and sadistic.

my parents both drank

luckily i was spared of explicit cruelty or malice in my early youth, things just went downhill around age 12 

AlmightyJim said: 

What do you mean BP? I have BPD.

I was never shown any affection or love as a child, my mom would push me away from hugs as a baby and hit me whenever she was frustrated. I grew up equally needy as I was violent and sadistic.

BP=bipolar BPD=borderline PD - the first is a mood disorder and the latter is a personality disorder. 
Mood disorders tend to be caused by brain chemicals but environment can contribute. 

ddddddd said: 

The most scientific view is that with all mental illnesses except very few it is a mixture of biological and environmental factors. I personally think environmental factors are very important. In terms of fault or responsibility in my opinion it does not change anythinfng if it is the one or the other. As a child etc one is powerless against ones environment and also the biology is not within ones power. But as adults we can take steps to cope with it/heal it. That is where responsibility and fault lies. 

 The jealousy for parents that fawn over their kids will still eat me alive if I let it. Despite having opportunity I had willfully neglectful parents.

I’ll come back to it

I think I was a sheltered and ignorant child and teenager. Didn’t really occur to me how rich I was until my 20s easily. When the world of drugs was opened to me I could absolutely never get enough of it and I had resent for the people that convinced me what they were like before I tried them.

My parents told me I could have whatever I wanted and do whatever I wanted as long as I got good grades, so I always got money and my friends were the ones who informed me of how much better off I was than them. I just took it for granted because it isn’t important to me. I would much rather have my parents care about me instead of my grades. Money is of no value to me, except that it leads to true freedom.  

Chapo said: 

I think I was a sheltered and ignoranchild and teenager. Didn’t really occur to me how rich I was until my 20s easily. When the world of drugs was opened to me I could absolutely never get enough of it and I had resent for the people that convinced me what they were like before I tried them.

Med said: 

ddddddd said: 

The most scientific view is that with all mental illnesses except very few it is a mixture of biological and environmental factors. I personally think environmental factors are very important. In terms of fault or responsibility in my opinion it does not change anythinfng if it is the one or the other. As a child etc one is powerless against ones environment and also the biology is not within ones power. But as adults we can take steps to cope with it/heal it. That is where responsibility and fault lies. 

The jealousy for parents that fawn over their kids will still eat me alive if I let it. Despite having opportunity I had willfully neglectful parents.

Oh god, did they tune you out the way you tune us out? 

I'm sorry that sounds awful, and it explains why you fight so hard to get noticed by Chapo as your Oedipal proxy.