Sociopath Community

Aizenonimo said: 

AlmightyJim said: 

It's February 2018, me and my trap ex boyfriends unlicensed bitcoin OTC trade office in Warsaw gets busted, everything is taken, except some profits we had on us, which was about 13000 euros

I give him 3000, give him a long hug and a last kiss, I fly back to Bucharest with the first plane I can catch, having to pay a nice premium of 650 euros because the flight was in 3 hours

He sends me a message "Do not contact me again, I am talking to my ex girlfriend and also the police is looking for you, I want nothing to do with you anymore, too much trouble, goodbye"

Now I am at a hotel in Bucharest, looking at the ceiling, thinking of hanging myself, with 10k euros in my pocket (big money for a 23 year old from Turkey), various accomplishments, nothing matters, I want to die, cant take the pain anymore

No matter how much ego you have and how good you are doing in life, without love you are just miserable, and you know this all too well yourself hehe

As a BPD I have severe issues with self-esteem regulation and intense pain caused by it, love saved my life pretty much at this point in my life

 I un-ironically can't relate.

To be real, I always saw love as something to conquer just to prove to myself that I can do it. It was purely based on pride, ego, and maybe a tad of pure pathological narcissism.

If he were to sent me that, and I had 10k in my pocket and was alone in a hotel room, the first thing I would send back would be.

"Have fun staying a poor, deluded, faggot lmao."  

I would see him as something superficial given how he run his usage, and I would just feel good for using him and that's it.

Now if you refer to my past misery cause of lack of love, if anything it was because I didn't win. That's what was wrecking my confidence/ mental health.

Failing, not loving/being loved

See you might be putting things like ego/ love/ confidence/ into different spectrums but. For me there is:

Possession/ depth of possession/ difficulty = win or lose

When I took revenge against the two npd mommies and i rejected them, which happened about a year ago, I recovered my ego.

So since then I really can't even feel loneliness, it's like the very emotion is completely gone.

Yes it does sound like NPD, and yes you do sound like BPD. But in the end every emotional connection/attachment you may have/ i may have/ others may have, is just that, a need. A necessity.

So I prefer to replace it with machiavellian narcissism and a huge+ fragile ego, because the trade off- is worth it.

 

 you're so pathetic lmao 'npd mommies' kys

AlmightyJim said: 

Aizenonimo said: 

AlmightyJim said: 

It's February 2018, me and my trap ex boyfriends unlicensed bitcoin OTC trade office in Warsaw gets busted, everything is taken, except some profits we had on us, which was about 13000 euros

I give him 3000, give him a long hug and a last kiss, I fly back to Bucharest with the first plane I can catch, having to pay a nice premium of 650 euros because the flight was in 3 hours

He sends me a message "Do not contact me again, I am talking to my ex girlfriend and also the police is looking for you, I want nothing to do with you anymore, too much trouble, goodbye"

Now I am at a hotel in Bucharest, looking at the ceiling, thinking of hanging myself, with 10k euros in my pocket (big money for a 23 year old from Turkey), various accomplishments, nothing matters, I want to die, cant take the pain anymore

No matter how much ego you have and how good you are doing in life, without love you are just miserable, and you know this all too well yourself hehe

As a BPD I have severe issues with self-esteem regulation and intense pain caused by it, love saved my life pretty much at this point in my life

 I un-ironically can't relate.

To be real, I always saw love as something to conquer just to prove to myself that I can do it. It was purely based on pride, ego, and maybe a tad of pure pathological narcissism.

If he were to sent me that, and I had 10k in my pocket and was alone in a hotel room, the first thing I would send back would be.

"Have fun staying a poor, deluded, faggot lmao."  

I would see him as something superficial given how he run his usage, and I would just feel good for using him and that's it.

Now if you refer to my past misery cause of lack of love, if anything it was because I didn't win. That's what was wrecking my confidence/ mental health.

Failing, not loving/being loved

See you might be putting things like ego/ love/ confidence/ into different spectrums but. For me there is:

Possession/ depth of possession/ difficulty = win or lose

When I took revenge against the two npd mommies and i rejected them, which happened about a year ago, I recovered my ego.

So since then I really can't even feel loneliness, it's like the very emotion is completely gone.

Yes it does sound like NPD, and yes you do sound like BPD. But in the end every emotional connection/attachment you may have/ i may have/ others may have, is just that, a need. A necessity.

So I prefer to replace it with machiavellian narcissism and a huge+ fragile ego, because the trade off- is worth it.

 

 Your pseudo-NPD has emerged only recently, I still remember you talking about how hurt you were because your e-girls left you and trying to prevent you from killing yourself, you took a bunch of xans and went afk for a while, you were also typing slurred. You felt betrayed and mad because I turned on you with Adolf and were passive aggressive with me for months, so its clear you also have capacity to trust people and form bonds.

I kinda adopted the same kind of coping mechanism as you years ago, convinced myself im a sociopathic narcissistic (the scamming and manipulating girls kinda helped me fuel the fantasy), dulled my feeling and repressed em, then it all exploded and came back full force, into a full breakdown

You are going to pay a heavy price repressing your emotions and denying your sensitive vulnerable BPD nature thats the core of your personality, as all the repressed emotions will come back at once full force. Its better to just deal with them and fix your core instead of larping as a sociopath to deny your vulnearbility, I understand you feel weak, I did the same.

 this is the jimmy i know, NOW FINISH HIM.

also yea he used to be more vulnerable, used to slide into my DMs and lay his donkey head on my lap and tell me about his dreams and fears. now he lashes out constantly, where did we go wrong

stfu i am not reading all that