Sociopath Community

Do you earn cash from it Aizen

yeah

Aizenonimo said: 

How do you manage to value love above your own ego? It seems incomprehensible to me

 

 I think actually there is a value of love that sort of creates security for the ego that is otherwise constantly insecure and more fragile. So the assurance of a partner is not just wanted but it’s very needed. There is a codependency for validation not just love, but validation of them as a whole person because they are otherwise constantly doubting it.

It's February 2018, me and my trap ex boyfriends unlicensed bitcoin OTC trade office in Warsaw gets busted, everything is taken, except some profits we had on us, which was about 13000 euros

I give him 3000, give him a long hug and a last kiss, I fly back to Bucharest with the first plane I can catch, having to pay a nice premium of 650 euros because the flight was in 3 hours

He sends me a message "Do not contact me again, I am talking to my ex girlfriend and also the police is looking for you, I want nothing to do with you anymore, too much trouble, goodbye"

Now I am at a hotel in Bucharest, looking at the ceiling, thinking of hanging myself, with 10k euros in my pocket (big money for a 23 year old from Turkey), various accomplishments, nothing matters, I want to die, cant take the pain anymore

No matter how much ego you have and how good you are doing in life, without love you are just miserable, and you know this all too well yourself hehe

As a BPD I have severe issues with self-esteem regulation and intense pain caused by it, love saved my life pretty much at this point in my life

Blanc said: 

Aizenonimo said: 

How do you manage to value love above your own ego? It seems incomprehensible to me

 I think actually there is a value of love that sort of creates security for the ego that is otherwise constantly insecure and more fragile. So the assurance of a partner is not just wanted but it’s very needed. There is a codependency for validation not just love, but validation of them as a whole person because they are otherwise constantly doubting it.

Is that how it is for you? 

Aizenonimo said: 

How do you manage to value love above your own ego? It seems incomprehensible to me 

Giving a serious answer to this, I do a fair amount of research into mental health.

Usually BPD revolves around a fear of rejection. The person will pick up subtle cues of rejection from things they've already experienced, and they try to block it out or wall themselves off instantly. Turns out that the prognosis for BPD is actually not bad, and that about 2 years of having a trusting relationship with someone cures most of the symptoms.

I don't think BPD people value love above their ego, I think that they want love but protect their ego.

Tryptamine said: 

I do a fair amount of research into mental health.

I enjoy how you had to qualify that for us. 

Turns out that the prognosis for BPD is actually not bad, and that about 2 years of having a trusting relationship with someone cures most of the symptoms.

I'd say it's closer to them having found someone who won't turn on them when they sperg. 

Make them single again and the BPD will be right where you left it, potentially worse off even from knowing a comfort zone that's now become that much more out of their reach. 

I don't think BPD people value love above their ego, I think that they want love but protect their ego.

What people openly admit to valuing their ego more than concepts though? 

AlmightyJim said: 

It's February 2018, me and my trap ex boyfriends unlicensed bitcoin OTC trade office in Warsaw gets busted, everything is taken, except some profits we had on us, which was about 13000 euros

I give him 3000, give him a long hug and a last kiss, I fly back to Bucharest with the first plane I can catch, having to pay a nice premium of 650 euros because the flight was in 3 hours

He sends me a message "Do not contact me again, I am talking to my ex girlfriend and also the police is looking for you, I want nothing to do with you anymore, too much trouble, goodbye"

Now I am at a hotel in Bucharest, looking at the ceiling, thinking of hanging myself, with 10k euros in my pocket (big money for a 23 year old from Turkey), various accomplishments, nothing matters, I want to die, cant take the pain anymore

No matter how much ego you have and how good you are doing in life, without love you are just miserable, and you know this all too well yourself hehe

As a BPD I have severe issues with self-esteem regulation and intense pain caused by it, love saved my life pretty much at this point in my life

 I un-ironically can't relate.

To be real, I always saw love as something to conquer just to prove to myself that I can do it. It was purely based on pride, ego, and maybe a tad of pure pathological narcissism.

If he were to sent me that, and I had 10k in my pocket and was alone in a hotel room, the first thing I would send back would be.

"Have fun staying a poor, deluded, faggot lmao."  

I would see him as something superficial given how he run his usage, and I would just feel good for using him and that's it.

Now if you refer to my past misery cause of lack of love, if anything it was because I didn't win. That's what was wrecking my confidence/ mental health.

Failing, not loving/being loved

See you might be putting things like ego/ love/ confidence/ into different spectrums but. For me there is:

Possession/ depth of possession/ difficulty = win or lose

When I took revenge against the two npd mommies and i rejected them, which happened about a year ago, I recovered my ego.

So since then I really can't even feel loneliness, it's like the very emotion is completely gone.

Yes it does sound like NPD, and yes you do sound like BPD. But in the end every emotional connection/attachment you may have/ i may have/ others may have, is just that, a need. A necessity.

So I prefer to replace it with machiavellian narcissism and a huge+ fragile ego, because the trade off- is worth it.

Tryptamine said: 

Aizenonimo said: 

How do you manage to value love above your own ego? It seems incomprehensible to me 

Giving a serious answer to this, I do a fair amount of research into mental health.

Usually BPD revolves around a fear of rejection. The person will pick up subtle cues of rejection from things they've already experienced, and they try to block it out or wall themselves off instantly. Turns out that the prognosis for BPD is actually not bad, and that about 2 years of having a trusting relationship with someone cures most of the symptoms.

I don't think BPD people value love above their ego, I think that they want love but protect their ego.

 BPD or not humans are humans, and humans need an ego just to survive that's no wonder.

But you say that fear of rejection is what hurts them the most, but who likes being rejected or who likes getting cucked?
Does it matter if it is bpd/npd/aspd, because you may say whatever but I never met an aspd-npd who was fine with being rejected in any shape or form.

And they do value love about their ego, deep inside all of them reek of "i just want to be loved" and everything else is just a shield to cover up that fragility.

Aizenonimo said: 

Tryptamine said: 

Aizenonimo said: 

How do you manage to value love above your own ego? It seems incomprehensible to me 

Giving a serious answer to this, I do a fair amount of research into mental health.

Usually BPD revolves around a fear of rejection. The person will pick up subtle cues of rejection from things they've already experienced, and they try to block it out or wall themselves off instantly. Turns out that the prognosis for BPD is actually not bad, and that about 2 years of having a trusting relationship with someone cures most of the symptoms.

I don't think BPD people value love above their ego, I think that they want love but protect their ego.

 BPD or not humans are humans, and humans need an ego just to survive that's no wonder.

But you say that fear of rejection is what hurts them the most, but who likes being rejected or who likes getting cucked?
Does it matter if it is bpd/npd/aspd, because you may say whatever but I never met an aspd-npd who was fine with being rejected in any shape or form.

And they do value love about their ego, deep inside all of them reek of "i just want to be loved" and everything else is just a shield to cover up that fragility.

 

The cucking fetish has its own rules and psychology.

Also I would think AsPD people would be alright with rejection, but it depends on the person, of course. It's easier to see why narcs might get upset.