When you see a damaged person who gets in the way of you doing things, how do you generally handle the situation?
For example, let's say there's a person who loves causing harm. I don't know, it's like a fetish. They really love damaging shit, because their mommy beat them as a kid or something.
Do you usually use the carrot, or do you go straight for the stick? In what succession do you use the carrot and the stick? Do you first try out the carrot and then if it doesn't work you beat them a little bit with the stick to see if it rectifies their behavior?
After you've beaten them a little with a stick, do you continue beating them until they lose all self-esteem, or do you generally try out both a little at a time until you reach some kind of optimum?
Just curious.
I used to think that if a person is damaged and harmful to other people, you should somehow try to reason with them and include them in your in-group. However, I've changed my mind.
I think people like that need to be smacked around a little so that you can correct their behavior. What I can't seem to wrap my head around is when should you decide that the person is a lost cause and you should just keep smackin them with the stick whenever they get within one meter of you.
Thoughts? Xena, you have kids, right?
The carrot isn't something I'd use to keep them in check. Then they'll only get along if it comes with a prize.
Whatever it takes to set boundaries will do.
If you fail to discipline your child, the world will.
When it comes to corperal punishment, be sure the reason for doing it is sensible.
There are 2 kinds of people who were beaten.
- The ones who say they were abused.
- The ones who say they deserved it.
The ones who say they deserved it are more stable. The ones who say they were abused were either raised by asses or they themselves are difficult. The bottom line is, everyone remembers why they were beaten, and from a young age we have a moral compass that lets us determine if the punishment is justified.
Sparing the rod can lead them astray, but only if the rod is called for.
Sweden banned corporal punishment starting with the Millennials, the Scandinavian region followed suit as well, and there we see a generation of adults with a strong sense of entitlement, as their offspring runs the show by making family decisions cause they believe in such rights. That is 1 reason why Islam can easily move in and start outbreeding the Swedes.
In short. If nothing else works, and if it's called for, go the route of immediate compliance. Express anger and ask them if they understand why you had to break their ass, and they will tell you no problem.
Those who were abused or never beaten will see corporal punishment as abuse no matter what, so when they have a devil child on their hands, they are more likely to enable the child. In the future, that child will either get their ass handed to them or, as it was in Alice's case be inspired to change.
I absolutely agree with you, especially on the Scandinavia comment. People in Scandinavia are growing up rotten because the system gets rid of all the ways to keep people in check.
In your case they're probably just going to go ghost on you. Since it's you I assume it's work and nothing in the line of a social life, so you can expect less responding to your messages, they will exclude you from events, won't be keen on working with you on future projects, etc. You will really be on your own. I'm not sure what your work-relationship is like, but it's likely they are a normal person who will avoid the stick at all costs and go for the carrot, they will try to reason with you just like you said. But again, it's you we're talking about, so if you have pushed them too far or if you suspect they are already aware of the extent of your damages, they will of course use their stick until you are no more, and claim it was your fault if anyone asks.
You seem to be having trouble knowing when they will decide to stick you, my advice is don't waste any time making new friends. I assume you are alone, so if you can make this person worried about factions I think you will have your own stick to leverage. I hope this was helpful, good luck making friends at work.
Cool, thanks Spite. However, I'm not worried about my work, but I can understand why it might be difficult to respond without the appropriate context.
