I allowed myself to just keep resting and slept quite a lot.... last night and through the whole day. Because I think exhaustion was contributing to poor mental health.
And it did help. I was feeling sort of overwhelmed with thoughts, and I didn’t know what to do about them. As well as feeling sort of closed in, but the pandemic. So I decided to go for a bike ride and get in my 3k steps as well. Just clear my head a bit. And that did help as well.
I was dissapointed when I got back though to go back inside. I think the whole, locked in thing is just, getting to me a bit. So I decided to sort of make a plan to implement things in my life that are going to help me, remain on a good sleep schedule- as well as, help limit my stress as well as, um... help, with the whole, “locked in” feelings.
And I’ve decided I am goign to make the effort to truly move out again.
I was on the fence for a while, because it is a lot of money to spend on just living somewhere else. When I could technically live for free at home, save all the money. However, due to financial reasons, I have to receive a certain amount of pay and work a certain period, as well as pay bills for a certain period to establish credit and prepare for receiving a business loan.
I know that saving money would contribute to getting a larger loan, so I am thinking I am going to start pursuing online business as a means to generate savings.
I think that getting a job will really help with just having a reason to get out of the house, as well as a way to pay rent on a place. Having the place will help me because it’s absolutely crucial for the stability of my mental health that I get 8 hours of sleep a night. I’ve known this a long time about myself, but living around other people does make it difficult.
Investing in black out curtains, ear plugs, and blindfolds is not enough. Having people in my house when I am trying to be in a restful mood and winding down for the night, relaxing my mind, clearing my head for sleep, etc. It- really, makes me kind of a nervous wreck.
For some, not so much. But, that’s just how I am, and I really need my peace, externally, in my environment. As I have enough to cull internally as it is.
Of course, a reminder to myself. Moving locations, and having a job, are not the *only* solutions to bettering my mental health and wellness, achieving balance, and recovery for myself. Just to make it clear.
If you think that putting yourself in a new box is going to make any shred of difference, it’s not. It helps. But, there is more to it. Lifestyle changes, habits, routines and rituals, etc. A lot has to sort of fall into place to make things better. As well as mindfulness.
Something I have to really focus on when making decisions for myself, what I will do with my day, my month, my year, or even my entire life. Is to remain mindful of stress.
I have to sort of put myself first in that aspect, of choosing to do things in a way that is good for me... remembering to keep things simple, and dial it back.
I do like the *idea* of opportunity, which is why I keep an open mind or *allow the room for* opportunities to happen. It’s just, feeling, safe, in that I am not trapped, that I have savings, that I have, opportunities and things to look forward to on the horizon, and things that I am involved in that make me happy, truly. Etc. These things are very crucial for someone who struggles with depression or is prone to it.
I don’t necessarily know why, but. These are things I consciously go out of my way to do in an effort to allow my mind to feel more balanced.
I had someone recommend to me learning more in depth about stress management and I think that is a great avenue to go down, though I have quite a few books that have been recommended for me to read and, meetings to attend, things to learn about. I think my time would be best spent here and focusing on learning about stress management as that’s something new and an area that I haven’t approached yet therapeutically beyond, meditation and basic coping mechanisms.
