Why do you want people to be different so bad? I'd bet on average those "simpletons" are happier than you or Tryp. And one of those reasons being they don't question life the way you do.
Why would you want people to run on autopilot? Sure it can be convenient for you, but it's also a loss.
Hey Trypt. Apologies for my earlier flame, it was unwarranted.
I can relate to what you say. Browsing Facebook to see what my old friends are doing is disappointing. My expectations of people tends to over-shoot.
Somehow you would like to think the people that were in your life are unique.
The same with school reunions. My last school reunion, 7 years ago, I ended up at my apartment with two of my friends from primary school times. The other one was constantly whining about her life and and the other one ended up consoling her before I kicked both of them out. Great reunion.
The reunion itself took place at a bar where my old teacher who used to bully me showed up to buy us champagne, asked about my life, to which I answered that my life is great now that I no longer have him as an authority figure. One girl made sure to let everyone know how insecure she is about working as a cashier. One of my friends had turned into some kind of a scoundrel. I do not remember a single person surprising me in any profound way.
Looking through the life of your old friends, would you say you yourself have changed in some ways?
No need to apologize, if I wanted a "safe space" I wouldn't be here. Your school reunion consisted of 3 people at a bar?
To answer your question, I've changed dramatically. I dealt with a lot of abuse and unstable environments growing up. I used to worry how I would make people like me, because I could tell we were different and I couldn't relate to them. Some of them picked up on that too.
Since then, I've come to be a lot more astute in observation. Many of them leave me feeling empty with how shallow they are now. Within the last few days, I've messaged people who have added me over the years. Some don't reply. Some make short conversation within their comfort zone. The most interesting person was someone who I barely remembered. He was able to make spontaneous conversation and carry a topic, it was refreshing.
Can't stand negative people. What I can stand even less are self pity. I cut 3 self pitying people out of my life.
So much better now.
Hardship is a part of life. It is OK to say you suffer. But it is not OK to make it your lifestyle.
Also, telling a negative person you are suffering will just end bad. Told a friend I feel crappy right now but I'll be fine. Friend said "I bet you will be like that forever." ... Eh... thank you?
Do you tell them that a lot?
Repetition is boring.
Based on your past stories, I'm sure you understand that too.
It's boring to you and me. They certainly don't think a more base life style is any bad. That is what they want out of life. To be happy, married, kids. Go out on the weekends with coworkers. Go on that paid 2 week vacation every year. Year after year. They don't mind the monotony, because their pleasures are simpler and their need to achieve is low. They gravitate towards what they fit best. You can't mold them to be more like you even if you tried.
I'd bet on average those "simpletons" are happier than you or Tryp.
Turncoat said:Probably, but what good does that do for me?
It would do you good to view things outside your perspective, and understand the people you wish were different is most likely a subconscious envy that they can breeze through life without giving it a single thought. And trying to change them, would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Turncoat said:Many people end up trapped in cycles over not introspecting though, and find themselves incapable of moving past it. For example: Med.
I think this is closer to an "everything in moderation" situation.
We all have different issues to deal with. I agree with that, but Med is mentally ill, so I wouldn't compare her with facebook normies
Why do you want people to be different so bad? I'd bet on average those "simpletons" are happier than you or Tryp. And one of those reasons being they don't question life the way you do.
Why would you want people to run on autopilot? Sure it can be convenient for you, but it's also a loss.
What's the loss? Do you think you know what's best for people who are different than you? What makes you think they don't know exactly what they're doing, and they know exactly what they want out of life?
I’ve never seen you introspect on yourself like this before
Call me when you’re sober and we can continue this discussion, this is my shit right here
I've never seen you introspect
I have to give this site credit because it at least makes me second-guess myself and keeps me mentally active. I'm seeing a lot of people content in echo chambers on social media.
It's been a journey to watch people age here, too, but yeah thankfully it's not the stagnation one grows to expect out of dishonest harmony.
Facebook-wise, people can make shitty points and be pat on the back merely over who's side their on, while here you can find yourself occasionally being corrected by the guy who otherwise agrees with you.
What did you mean by "or else" rhetoric?
I've been seeing it trend to push notions of peace in threatening tones.
It's almost oxymoronic, but they're just running with it like it's normal.
Even those who were successful on my end ended up mundane as people, and even in more "interesting" places you start to see how they're all "the same" with enough time. Everyone's done their trip to Europe or Canada, accomplished a minimum wage job, squished out a child, attended subcultural Conventions/LARPs based on their favorite media, lived in a roommate scenario, had a phase where they got a little too into substances, argued the same arguments with S.O.s... all with the same selfie angles, the same weight rooms, the same yoga pants, the same cheap furniture, the same brand name foods, the same gauged ears... it's enough to drive me crazy. Many conversations might as well be discussing the weather for the level of unique content they're putting on the table.
Live long enough and people as a whole become increasingly redundant to the point of pain. I'd rather meet exceptionally interesting failures than successful squares, and that's largely a big part of why I come here.What did you judge success by?
If they accomplished something that resembled the lofty goals they set for themselves, like seeing one of my colleagues get a good position in Amazon.
The ones who succeeded tended to just be like... success robots. I feel like most of those are like the dumb straight A student in that they happen to be programmed for that environment in spite of a lack of introspection and deeper thinking otherwise.
Typically if someone's a more interesting well rounded person, I tend to see that go alongside some occupational difficulties. Granted... I also see a lot of boring people get boring jobs, but rarely do I see someone interesting have the interesting job unless they were somehow completely self-made.
The people I was interested in back then, were the ones who seemed very clever or unique. For instance the girl I had almost dated, runs a blog just by her thoughts, gets paid to do advertisements. She wasn't a good student, just a remarkable personality.
From just this alone this sounds completely expected, but then again the story here sounds almost completely denatured of it's emotional experience.
What about it within it made it unique?
Having gone to 3 different high schools, usually the valedictorians are just the people who were the most neurotic and put the most work in. Although one now teaches in college, but this was the type of dude to tell me to read Nietzsche (and why) when he seen me with a Kant book. In my experience, it is the personality that matters more than anything. Some people just seem more alive. Not sure how else to put that.
I've generally found more out of people who seem really wired.
Within hyperactivity is a sense of desperation, and it's from there that people can show more interesting behaviors.
Repetition is boring.
Based on your past stories, I'm sure you understand that too.It's boring to you and me. They certainly don't think a more base life style is any bad. That is what they want out of life. To be happy, married, kids. Go out on the weekends with coworkers. Go on that paid 2 week vacation every year. Year after year. They don't mind the monotony, because their pleasures are simpler and their need to achieve is low. They gravitate towards what they fit best.
Yeah, and that suuuuuuucks.
I'd rather see people explore their depths than watch them live empty lives.
You can't mold them to be more like you even if you tried.
And trying to change them, would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Actually, their environment overtime can shape their expectations, and in time that can shape them into different directions than otherwise. People are a part of someone's environment, and their interactions with them leave traces of influence on them and their future thoughts.
In short, yes, yes you or I can shape them to be more like ourselves if we tried, just how my being around other people can reshape me. We're basically sponges when it comes to life experience, and a lot of people never fully explore what they want out of life without something framing the push for them.
I've watched people change based on who and what they surround themselves with, but I've also watched them revert after the fact once they resumed being around what's otherwise familiar to them. While the base template behaviors can't really change beyond deteriorating with age, where their head's at can show solid deviations from what they'd otherwise be inclined to do.
I'd bet on average those "simpletons" are happier than you or Tryp.
Turncoat said:Probably, but what good does that do for me?It would do you good to view things outside your perspective, and understand the people you wish were different is most likely a subconscious envy that they can breeze through life without giving it a single thought.
Understanding it doesn't make it better, it just dulls the affect of it.
Sure the whole "ignorance is bliss" thing looks easier, but then again so does a coma.
Turncoat said:Many people end up trapped in cycles over not introspecting though, and find themselves incapable of moving past it. For example: Med.
I think this is closer to an "everything in moderation" situation.We all have different issues to deal with. I agree with that, but Med is mentally ill, so I wouldn't compare her with facebook normies
When you get to the heart of people, everyone's a bit ill. Some just happen to have their sicknesses cobbled together more functionally than others.
