Turncoat's words in that post are amazingly fitting considering the input of people on this thread, Freyja, Alena, Sugar and Primal included, and his reactions to them also.
My life is so different now compared to when i was growing up. I was unhappy as a child and just didnt have that much fun. But now, i own my own house, i have a job. I'm getting married in a month. It's so nostalgic to think about. I love my life now. I have a lot more.
Yet, part of me wants to be a kid again. Part of me wants to go back to last year even. I want to live it again and enjoy it. I don't want time to go by. I want to stop it. Next year, I'm going to want to go back to right now.
I'm comparing it to the world. Cavemen, the middle ages, slave days. and 2016....the world has evolved. Our ancestors learned how to speak, made temples, and so on. Looking at the things in the news (terrorist attacks, police attacks, rapists not going to jail), i think. ''have we got that better?''
Well, i know we have. All those things have happened before. Its not a new thing. Maybe its like my life. It's evolved and gotten better, but it will never be perfect.
I want to go back and time and watch the Aztecs. Like how i want to go back in time to when i was 19. Life wasnt that good, but i want to live it.
Maybe its like Common People by Pulp. The lyric, ''Cause you think that poor is cool.'' It;s similar to me saying that when my life sucked, i thought it was cool.
Turncoat keeps blaming "genetics" and "brain chemistry" because it is easier not to take personal responsibility for his failures. He needs this "helplessness" he has convinced himself of, in a world where others (some of whom have it fucking hard also, even worse) outbest him. I think this is why he needs to tell himself all that, why his illness and stuff that he has no control of are put at the center of his life.
Edvard stated: source post
Turncoat's words in that post are amazingly fitting considering the input of people on this thread, Freyja, Alena, Sugar and Primal included, and his reactions to them also.
Actually, I think he's calling you an idiot. But that's just my take.
Also, look again. That isn't Alena. It's a puppet. Much like Freyja. But you don't seem to mind puppets so much, when they're taking your side.
Yes, it appears to be some sort of perverse 'escape clause' from accountability and responsibility.....with all that 'insight'....he backs himself into the corner of culpability for his own downfall/ rut spinning...and denies doing so at the same time.
Fascinating to read the dance of denial to self in that one.
Alright, since you did the harder work, lets use each of these as jumping points for elaboration:
I remember reading back through some of your posts on the old forum and thinking how proud you sounded of the fact that you'd tried so many different therapists and none of them could figure you out.
A) (Assuming she meant Nabble) How much of me on the old forum did you read?
B) I wanted to be figured out, that was once my largest goal. As said already, I enjoyed how they responded to me, not that they were oblivious. Not knowing made for so much confusion and many obstacles.
You seem to have based your entire identity around how you're this unique special snowflake who doesn't think like anyone else and has mental problems nobody can solve.
How does my issue being unsolvable make me unique? This is literally the case with my disorder. If it could be solved, I actually would be unique.
You're so keen to stress how different you are and how the way you think is not like others that at times you become a parody of yourself.
Where have I stressed that instead of just talking about myself plainly, and how often?
this whole conversation people have offered you advice both practical and philosophical and you're clearly not open to it at all
With how long I've been contending with this, do you think I've heard none of this before, haven't been open to this stuff before? I've tried all that's been said here at some point other than medication, and I've expressed why that's a terrible plan.
The majority of them are basically saying "Will it away", "Talk to someone about it", followed by "Quit making excuses" when I explain how it's not that simple. The closest to a real answer so far's been Haart. What answer to these lot would be enough beyond complying?
Your very sense of self is constructed around your perceived uniqueness,
Then why am I using labels that numerous others carry to define myself? Why would I aim to understand myself through other people if I felt that I was unlike everyone else?
you don't want there to be anyone out there who can relate to you because it would challenge your very notion of who you are.
QUITE the opposite: Others like me serve as an example for why I need to ground myself and work hard to continue functioning as well as I can (as well as some creative entertainment). They're the horror stories that keep me sharper instead of laying back and allowing the crazy to wash over me.
What was said is that others like me scare me, because they remind me of the illness I have, the problems I'm facing, and for those further down the track than I am... they show me what I'm likely to become.
The vast majority of your 11,467 posts involve you overanalysing stuff to the point of absurdity
No comment. 
For somebody supposedly open-minded, you seem to have a rather constrained, narrow-minded definition of what 'normal' is
I've defined what I believe "normal" is, how would you define it?
everyone on this earth has their own interior world that is as complex and unique as your own
Of course, this is one of the fundamental reasons why I enjoy people. There's so much going on (usually), and the nuttier ones tend to tell better stories and deliver statements that are raw enough to help understand the human condition.
I'm sure you do have genuine mental problems,
Kay.
It's not that your problems in life aren't solvable - you don't want to solve them.
Find me the cure for my disorder then. Once you have it you're liable to become rich, considering that Schizophrenia, the topic I was discussing related to myself within this context, has no cure. At best it has harm reduction, prevention, tolerance, and a scary chemical gamble that could kill who I am now in favor of a much scarier me.
Everything you've wrote on this thread just reads to me like a giant list of excuses.
So... how am I supposed to defy the field and cure myself of this affliction, and do these "excuses" really mean that I've given up?
It's such a lazy way to go through life and completely illogical [related to genetic determinism]
Uh... is this a good point? I can see why it'd make sense for people to not give up related to that, but I haven't given up. Beyond that, what's illogical about knowing my limitations and building myself in a way that won't let them overtake me? That's like saying that someone with alcoholism that chooses not to drink is illogical.
I don't think you're half as smart as you think you are
I must be pretty stupid then, as I don't think I'm smart, just specialized in a few areas, and even those areas could use some fine tuning honestly.
If anything, I'm more used to people trying to stop me from insulting myself.
It's like you feel entitled to happiness and success without putting any actual work into it.
How am I supposed to overcome a physical lacking in that area that's been around since I was a child, "work harder"?
EVERYONE has to work hard at it, nothing gets given to you on a plate [related to occupation]
As a general point, that is correct. As a point towards me, what other than assumptions from the appearance of pessimism makes me appear to not be trying, the lack of work related to my field itself?
You moan about how competitive things are nowadays, literally EVERYONE feels this way
Generally, yes (beyond the "literally"), but in relation to myself I answered this one already, bringing up demographics. Am I supposed to not talk about it just because others have said it before me? That'd make me either have to become a mute or someone who communicates purely in tongues.
in pretty much any given field those who succeed aren't actually the ones who are best at what they do or know the most about the subject, it's about mental attitude
That and finding ways through the automated processes that are the norm for hiring now, but generally yeah. My attitude's strong (in a good way) when it comes to working, but do you expect how I am here to reflect how I am in the work place? Are you how you are in the work place as you are here?
someone who is talented but lazy nine times out of ten won't be able to compete with someone who has little talent but puts in the hours
While a good point independently of the context in a general sense, it doesn't apply to me here. I've put in quite a lot of time with job seeking (and still am).
Happiness and motivation are not things that strike you like a bolt of lightening, and it's not pre-determined by genetics and brain chemistry either,
Tell that to antidepressant and ADD medications, as well as any field that studies the brain. Personally though, motivation's never been a problem, but yeah, happiness has been one. I've tried a lot of things, and through those efforts I've found things that stimulate me, but as far as I know that isn't the same as being happy. It's not a lack of effort on either front.
it's an attitude that you are choosing, either consciously or subconsciously, every day.
You try to be happy when you risk thinking that invisible creatures are trying to tear off your skin, that all of your friends are being manipulated behind the scenes by Illuminati types to achieve their bidding without their knowledge or purposeful intent, or that your debit records are being used to poison future meals.
Edvard stated: source post
Turncoat keeps blaming "genetics" and "brain chemistry" because it is easier not to take personal responsibility for his failures.
How are those two things related?
Primal stated: source post
B3.....did you even read it?
Yeah... and then promptly forgot about it. You're right, you did present me with an answer that wasn't the above. Since I haven't noticed the effects from Vitamin Water similarly to how Zinc in Vitamin Water gave me less obvious results, I'll try some supplements and get back to you on how they go.
Yeah... and then promptly forgot about it. You're right, you did present me with an answer that wasn't the above. Since I haven't noticed the effects from Vitamin Water similarly to how Zinc in Vitamin Water gave me less obvious results, I'll try some supplements and get back to you on how they go.
You couldn't expect anything even remotely similar....as the dosage is 1000X greater than the current vitamin water.....
However...were you willing to actually give it a go and experiment with it........that would be fun to set up....see what happens....
But.....you like spinning in your rut...highly doubt that something as potentially helpful would be up your alley