Post whatever outlooks or epiphanies you stumble across in life, about life here. Share and compare your views to others and feel free to add any inspirational or related art along with it. I know at times when my perspective is shifting, it feels good to go back and see where my head was at. It's nice to trace my mental footsteps, in hopes that it can lead me a hint as to where I'm going. Any insights you have just on yourself are welcome too
It bothers me how much I drastically swing between loving life and feeling borderline suicidal. I suppose I love how pointless and aimless it truly is, how it can be molded into anything and how it's different to everyone. I've dedicated my life adamantly chasing how much potential I may have in the future, yet I feel like I could die today feeling satisfied with what I've been lucky to experience. My head-space is shared by two entities simultaneously, one that has a burning rage filled drive towards ambition, while the other is a sedated complacent that places value on nothing. I've always had one without the other, but maybe this is how they're supposed to be, balancing eachother out. We'll see.
When I was a child I never had much grip on my emotions, as much as I had tried to contain them. I know that sounds typical of most kids, but scenes of injustice, unfair treatment and just people being taken advantage of in general would send me into a fit of dysfunctional rage, especially when it was towards my family. I still feel that way at times and realize the only reason I'm moral is because I can't help but see my mother who was taken advantage of in people. I used to hate that feeling honestly and would curse it trying to repress it. Who'd guess that'd be the same drive that's motivated me to change my life for better, the same old fire still burning. Funny how life works like that
Systematic stated: source post
Post whatever outlooks or epiphanies you stumble across in life, about life here. Share and compare your views to others and feel free to add any inspirational or related art along with it. I know at times when my perspective is shifting, it feels good to go back and see where my head was at. It's nice to trace my mental footsteps, in hopes that it can lead me a hint as to where I'm going. Any insights you have just on yourself are welcome too
Nice that you made it personal as opposed to philosoflatulence. As though borrowing the words of others were to lend further credence to your own experience of existence.
Funny...that one...not an insight, but something that has proven correct over and over again. Many things are a question of perspective and which side of the equation you find yourself...and constructs...lol...
Assumptions are dangerous entities and a singular manner in which to mindfuck yourself or let another do themselves in, as to assume, is to make an ass of u and me.
Whenever I go back to L.A., I get this sense that everyone’s trying to distract themselves. It’s more obvious there than anywhere else I’ve lived. It’s like they’re living in the shadow of some God, built from from collagen and Lamborghinis and 21-year old wives that’d melt in the sun. And then they’ve simultaneously decided never to look directly at this deity. Don’t even talk about it. Don’t mention it. We know, it’s weird, but carry on like it’s not there.
And funnily enough, it seems like any attempt at distracting from the wheezing, anemic God only adds to it. Veganism. Christian Mothers Against Pornography. The Republican Party. A cult. Botox. Those salads that are layered in jars. Vitamins. Home gym equipment. “Live Laugh Love†signs.Getting a neck tattoo. Agoraphobia. Pyramid schemes. And the fact that every fuckin cab driver tells me their kid works for Buzzfeed or their cousin is in a Verizon commercial.
And I kinda feel like I’m having a second adolescence in L.A., because I get this reactionary “God’s dead†irritability, and I just wanna go home and phone in another bomb threat to the Blue Man Group. And I think the thing I find so fucking exhausting is how seriously they take themselves, like the producer’s Valium-eyed wife in a restaurant, telling me how the Hamptons are too commercial these days while I’m trying to work out if I want the King Crab Amazu, because maybe it’s a Japanese word, or maybe it’s like a weird way of suggesting it’s amazing. Like, it will amaze you. And in that moment I realize I’m getting drunk. And Valium-wife is making a joke, and I’ve heard funnier material in a child’s eulogy but I laugh anyway. And it all sounds like a really lazy incarnation of people's tenacious unwillingness to just be average. As though being average is the worst thing someone could be. But life isn't Downton Abbey. It's Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and that's the great equalizer, in a way. And I have no idea if any of that made an iota of sense.
Beautiful.
While I lived on the West Coast, I have only passed through LA. . You might say these people are plastic, but something about LA is alluring.
I understand second adolescence completely. To live in LA would require me to step up my grooming even more.Well, I have the personal trainer. ;)
I'm more New York State of Mind.