Sociopath Community

haart stated: source post

Turncoat stated: source post

How can they be happy when dealing with this crap? Are they magical thinkers? 

I'd suggest it's because they found passion and joy in life, in their careers, families etc. Same as anyone else, just with steeper hurdles to clear.

So they weren't impaired when it came to pleasure then, just hindered? 
 

When were you diagnosed? By whom? How long did it take you to develop this degree of insight?

While I was still in college, by a team of people after my therapist finally decided that it'd be worth testing, and this degree of "insight" came from excessive introspection without knowing the labels in advance.

An inpatient setting?

More like a prepared room in a building with cameras, two way mirrors, and multiple workers in white coats asking questions and performing tests. 

The fuckers even moved the chairs in such a way as to test how I'd react to it when left alone in the room, something they must have known from talking to my therapist of the time. Even knowing full well that they were watching I had to fix it. Seeing as when the testing was happening I was a lot worse off... I ended up cussing them out briefly for acting like I wouldn't notice their intent within the grooves of the carpet. I could tell that they'd been watching me from the expressions on their faces whenever they'd re-enter the room. 

Being tested during one of my bad days did me few favors. I was all over the place. 
 

Is it mainly the extra-pyramidal side effects that concern you, or something else?

I don't know what you're meaning by pyramidal, but what concerns me is the increase in the rate of deterioration overtime. As the articles love to re-emphasize, there is no cure. 

I'm surprised you have such a distaste for anti-psychotics without being aware of extra-pyramidal side effects. 

I didn't know that there was a larger lumping for those. I usually just go with "tics", "tremors", or whatever else is the more specific case that applies at that time. 
 

Generally, meds imitate functions of the body and are prescribed to work on that area when it's lacking, similarly to an anemic taking iron supplements. Overtime however the body either has the receptors burn out or the body stops what little production of the chemical that it was naturally doing from something else doing the job for it, and from that the problems grow in severity.

Okay, I'll approach this from the angle that you're not convinced I have any medical training (which is fine, not really the point anyhow) :P

People who recommend meds to me are typically asking for that speal. If they're going to throw that script at me, then I'm going to throw that script back. 
 

While antidepressants can make a person more suicidal for instance, antipsychotics I've seen make people go from crazy to batshit loco when given enough time with them, especially if they begin jumping across different brands overtime, and unlike many cases where a gradual stairstepping can fix it... the damage tends to be permanent when it comes to medicating psychosis.

I'm not saying this is entirely untrue, but it's also not entirely true. 2+2 is at least 3, right? Pharmacodynamics and pharmacokinetics are extremely complicated, and more so in psychiatry. Yada yada... My question would be, do you distrust the wealth of evidence that atypical antipsychotics are actually quite effective in managing psychotic symptoms in some (not all) patients?

Personal experience has given me more reason to than not, and the risks it poses are permanent ones I wouldn't come back from. 

It's hard enough dealing with this, but it's even harder to deal with this when I can't hold it back. The last thing I need to do is make the latter become my new normal. I am not going to let myself be put away if I don't have to be, I don't want to lose my ability to sustain myself, and I don't want to become someone else's burden from no longer being able to function on my own. 
 

Above, you've referred to paradoxical side effects, which are not the norm.

Then why are they so common? I've met tons of people with med histories, and more often than not their problems become exacerbated by the treatments, especially if they try to quit. Even misdiagnosis victims with improper prescriptions can begin to resemble what they're being medicated for. 
 

In the same vein, although admittedly less common than paradoxical antipsychotic reactions, many common medications can produce horrifying reactions. Drugs I dare say you've taken. Ibuprofen and other NSAID's, penicillins etc. Stevens-Johnson syndrome/TEN is the most dramatic example I can think of right now (think: your skin falls off). 

Yeah... I've seen some crazy physical symptoms come from meds. My only real issue so far's been hyperactivity and hallucinations from drowsiness medicines. 
 

Lots of drugs can all do insane things to you. All drugs have that potential. The risk is generally low, the benefit is generally high.

The risk is "generally low" for meds across an entire board of symptoms. Sure someone might not reflect 9/10 of the possible adverse effects listed, but they very rarely reflect none of them. On top of that, medication use is expected to be regular, while an antibiotic is more likely to be used incidentally. 
 

If there was any chance you'd benefit from antipsychotic usage (and statistically, that's more likely than not), is it rational to hold such an ardent refusal when you wouldn't for an antibiotic? Is there another bias at play?

A history of seeing more people fall than rise from it. A lot of people, too many people. 
 

What's an example of "keeping your guard up"? How does that practically manifest?

Keeping my guard up involves keeping the crazy internal while I force myself externally to continue functioning. Better to be awkward looking than yelling at someone for being asymmetrical, or going into the fetal position and muttering to myself aloud over the volume being WRONG. 

I feel fine honestly discussing with people what my problems are, but the last thing that I want to do is show it to them. 

Hmm, not sure I follow how you're able to internalise the "crazy" sometimes and not others.

It's like a dam bursting, except that if I let some water through to cause less stress on the dam... it doesn't always close right away when I need it to, and said water flowing translates to ​embarrassing and destructive behaviors. Either that or it's like muting a television in that even though others aren't hearing it, the words are still being close captioned in my head with some visuals that others might notice and decypher if they're really looking. The problems are there, but they aren't always on the forefront for all to see. Most people with disorders have to learn to do this if they intend to function as members of society, as acting out on them won't grant them any favors unless they're with understanding company, and thankfully I have a history of theater that has helped me further this. 

The levels of intensity vary each day, both from context and factors independent of them. How high I'm holding my shoulders and how shaky my speech sounds tends to be a giveaway for how much instability I'm contending with, but if the walls break it takes a lot to build them back up while I'm meanwhile acting out in very obvious ways that can last for weeks if I'm not careful. 

Personal experience has given me more reason to than not, and the risks it poses are permanent ones I wouldn't come back from. 

Have read that pretty much word for word from others....along with the complaints that went along with ....so....can not blame you for not wanting anything to do with the current round of anti psychotics....while at the same time....some really make a huge difference with minimal side effects...

your patience is admirable, esp to someone who generally has none.

Turncoat stated: source post

 

haart stated: source post

Turncoat stated: source post

How can they be happy when dealing with this crap? Are they magical thinkers? 

I'd suggest it's because they found passion and joy in life, in their careers, families etc. Same as anyone else, just with steeper hurdles to clear.

So they weren't impaired when it came to pleasure then, just hindered? 

Case by case, but mostly that would be accurate.

When were you diagnosed? By whom? How long did it take you to develop this degree of insight?

While I was still in college, by a team of people after my therapist finally decided that it'd be worth testing, and this degree of "insight" came from excessive introspection without knowing the labels in advance.

An inpatient setting?

More like a prepared room in a building with cameras, two way mirrors, and multiple workers in white coats asking questions and performing tests. 

The fuckers even moved the chairs in such a way as to test how I'd react to it when left alone in the room, something they must have known from talking to my therapist of the time. Even knowing full well that they were watching I had to fix it. Seeing as when the testing was happening I was a lot worse off... I ended up cussing them out briefly for acting like I wouldn't notice their intent within the grooves of the carpet. I could tell that they'd been watching me from the expressions on their faces whenever they'd re-enter the room. 

Being tested during one of my bad days did me few favors. I was all over the place. 

This is interesting and I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. I'm certaintly not accusing you of being an unreliable narrator, but this isn't the way people are diagnosed with mental illness in any healthcare system I've ever worked in. Not even remotely.
 

Is it mainly the extra-pyramidal side effects that concern you, or something else?

I don't know what you're meaning by pyramidal, but what concerns me is the increase in the rate of deterioration overtime. As the articles love to re-emphasize, there is no cure. 

I'm surprised you have such a distaste for anti-psychotics without being aware of extra-pyramidal side effects. 

I didn't know that there was a larger lumping for those. I usually just go with "tics", "tremors", or whatever else is the more specific case that applies at that time. 
 

Generally, meds imitate functions of the body and are prescribed to work on that area when it's lacking, similarly to an anemic taking iron supplements. Overtime however the body either has the receptors burn out or the body stops what little production of the chemical that it was naturally doing from something else doing the job for it, and from that the problems grow in severity.

Okay, I'll approach this from the angle that you're not convinced I have any medical training (which is fine, not really the point anyhow) :P

People who recommend meds to me are typically asking for that speal. If they're going to throw that script at me, then I'm going to throw that script back. 

Fun fact relating to antipsychotics specifically, many of the ones we use these days act on monoaminergic receptors, decreasing the amount of dopamine/adrenalin/seretonin in the brain. Parkinsons is linked to dopamine depletion, and EPSE's can be a perfect mimic. We actually occasionally use levodopa (anti-Parkinsons drug) in older schizophrenics with long histories of some of the gnarlier antipsychs.

This being said, the modern atypical antipsychs have far, far less incidence of EPSE's. Plus, the use of depots (basically an injection into your butt that releases slowly over time) have made them all but vanish in the younger generation of schizophrenics. It's still not perfect, but it's getting better.

 

While antidepressants can make a person more suicidal for instance, antipsychotics I've seen make people go from crazy to batshit loco when given enough time with them, especially if they begin jumping across different brands overtime, and unlike many cases where a gradual stairstepping can fix it... the damage tends to be permanent when it comes to medicating psychosis.

I'm not saying this is entirely untrue, but it's also not entirely true. 2+2 is at least 3, right? Pharmacodynamics and pharmacokinetics are extremely complicated, and more so in psychiatry. Yada yada... My question would be, do you distrust the wealth of evidence that atypical antipsychotics are actually quite effective in managing psychotic symptoms in some (not all) patients?

Personal experience has given me more reason to than not, and the risks it poses are permanent ones I wouldn't come back from. 

It's hard enough dealing with this, but it's even harder to deal with this when I can't hold it back. The last thing I need to do is make the latter become my new normal. I am not going to let myself be put away if I don't have to be, I don't want to lose my ability to sustain myself, and I don't want to become someone else's burden from no longer being able to function on my own. 
 

Above, you've referred to paradoxical side effects, which are not the norm.

Then why are they so common? I've met tons of people with med histories, and more often than not their problems become exacerbated by the treatments, especially if they try to quit. Even misdiagnosis victims with improper prescriptions can begin to resemble what they're being medicated for. 
 

In the same vein, although admittedly less common than paradoxical antipsychotic reactions, many common medications can produce horrifying reactions. Drugs I dare say you've taken. Ibuprofen and other NSAID's, penicillins etc. Stevens-Johnson syndrome/TEN is the most dramatic example I can think of right now (think: your skin falls off). 

Yeah... I've seen some crazy physical symptoms come from meds. My only real issue so far's been hyperactivity and hallucinations from drowsiness medicines. 
 

Lots of drugs can all do insane things to you. All drugs have that potential. The risk is generally low, the benefit is generally high.

The risk is "generally low" for meds across an entire board of symptoms. Sure someone might not reflect 9/10 of the possible adverse effects listed, but they very rarely reflect none of them. On top of that, medication use is expected to be regular, while an antibiotic is more likely to be used incidentally. 
 

If there was any chance you'd benefit from antipsychotic usage (and statistically, that's more likely than not), is it rational to hold such an ardent refusal when you wouldn't for an antibiotic? Is there another bias at play?

A history of seeing more people fall than rise from it. A lot of people, too many people. 

I hear what you're saying, and I'm not suggesting you try anything, really. Doesn't matter to me, Turn. I just think you're smart enough to question your own belief systems every once in a while, and I'd suggest that yours is potentially rigid and not entirely informed. But if you're sure medications aren't right for you, then all power.

haart stated: source post

This is interesting and I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. I'm certaintly not accusing you of being an unreliable narrator, but this isn't the way people are diagnosed with mental illness in any healthcare system I've ever worked in. Not even remotely.

Oh no accuse away, everyone is one and I'm no exception. If anything I ought to be questioned more, especially over events that transpired while I wasn't "all there". 

It did seem a bit odd, but it was a day of testing collaborated with therapy data that had a diagnosis thrown at me weeks later. I had to sign a thing that let my therapy sessions be allowed to be seen by them, and those sessions also involved a camera, so they likely mulled over that footage as well as the test data and questionaires they made me fill out. When I came back for the findings they looked quite worried and tried to convince me to take meds, but at that time I was convinced that Zinc cured me. I wish I could get ahold of those tapes for my own personal viewing. 

It was definitely more in depth than when I was tested for ADD anyway, that test was a fucking joke. 
 

This being said, the modern atypical antipsychs have far, far less incidence of EPSE's. Plus, the use of depots (basically an injection into your butt that releases slowly over time) have made them all but vanish in the younger generation of schizophrenics. It's still not perfect, but it's getting better.

I'm not quite ready to potentially throw my life away over something that's just "getting better". The field has a long way to go still with much of what's done being a bit too experimental for my comforts. The situation is bad, but not quite at that level of desperate. Maybe in the next half-decade if things keep deteriorating, when my own resist efforts amount to nothing instead of the semblance of something, I'll consider it. 
 

I hear what you're saying, and I'm not suggesting you try anything, really. Doesn't matter to me, Turn. I just think you're smart enough to question your own belief systems every once in a while, and I'd suggest that yours is potentially rigid and not entirely informed. But if you're sure medications aren't right for you, then all power.

I can't trust the statistics when they're likely being influenced by people within Big Pharmaceuticals, so I'm going with the sample I've gathered outside of them instead. Naturally they'll have their own bias, but at least their bias is about experience instead of a paycheck. 

Ok TC, serious question - do you actually want your life to get better? That might sound like a trick question, but it's not really. You seem to have based your entire identity around how you're this unique special snowflake who doesn't think like anyone else and has mental problems nobody can solve. I remember reading back through some of your posts on the old forum and thinking how proud you sounded of the fact that you'd tried so many different therapists and none of them could figure you out. You're so keen to stress how different you are and how the way you think is not like others that at times you become a parody of yourself. 

I mean, this whole conversation people have offered you advice both practical and philosophical and you're clearly not open to it at all - you're just looking for ways to show how XXX wouldn't work for you because you're too special and different. Let's face it, if things started to go well for you in life - perhaps if you found a therapist who had seen cases like yours and could work with you and help you see things with a new clarity - that would be your worst nightmare, wouldn't it? Your very sense of self is constructed around your perceived uniqueness, and you don't want there to be anyone out there who can relate to you because it would challenge your very notion of who you are. You're as keen to impress people (and yourself) with your uniqueness as TK was that she was a big bad socio. The vast majority of your 11,467 posts involve you overanalysing stuff to the point of absurdity or trying to impress people with how 'different' you are.

For somebody supposedly open-minded, you seem to have a rather constrained, narrow-minded definition of what 'normal' is (just re-read some of your posts in this thread and notice how much you've talked about 'normally functioning' people and synonyms thereof). Your obsession with lolcows, 'weird' stuff on the internet, putting people into categories and analysing the minutiae of people's lives to the point of obsession is symptomatic of this. Would it completely blow your mind if I were to tell you that there is no 'normal', and that everyone on this earth has their own interior world that is as complex and unique as your own?  

I'm sure that you do have genuine mental health problems, and you do have my sympathy there, but LOTS of people in the world do and still manage to live happy, meaningful lives. Maybe your issues are unique, but again, there are LOTS of people out there with unique issues. Yes, there are some people with very severe problems who can't get out of bed, but you're clearly not one of them, so why bring them into it? You manage to come to this forum pretty much every day and withstand the atmosphere here, and you managed to go travelling. That is a lot more than many people with serious mental health issues could manage. Yes, i'm sure your issues make life difficult for you, but it's not like you're disabled. 

It's not that your problems in life aren't solvable, it's that you don't want to solve them. Even if you're not open to the idea of medication, there are plenty of people out there who could help you, but until you realise that you are in fact just a human being like everybody else it won't happen. Everything you've wrote on this thread just reads to me like a giant list of excuses. You seem to have this idea of genetic determinism - that your genes are a certain way and your brain is wired a certain way and that's that, it governs everything you do and there's nothing you can do about it. It's such a lazy way to go through life and completely illogical. It's like saying, there's no point in studying for this exam or training for this marathon because either I'll make it or I won't. It's quite sad really, because although I don't think you're half as smart as you think you are, you still have a lot to offer and could do a lot with your life. 

It's like you feel entitled to happiness and success without putting any actual work into it. As someone who has learnt languages without having any natural ability, I can tell you that what you've wrote about language-learning is such a pile of BS. I could point you in the direction of approaches that might work better for you (check out Benny Lewis for starters) and offer you a tonne of advice, but won't waste my breath because I know you don't actually want to succeed at learning a language. In stuff like language learning, and, you know, life, EVERYONE has to work hard at it, nothing gets given to you on a plate. Some of us have to work harder than others, and that's not fair, but it is the way it is. 

You moan about how competitive things are nowadays and how there are people out there much better than you. Again, literally EVERYONE feels this way, it's nothing specific to you. Talking about career success, I don't know what industry you're planning on working in, but in pretty much any given field those who succeed aren't actually the ones who are best at what they do or know the most about the subject, it's about mental attitude - someone who is talented but lazy nine times out of ten won't be able to compete with someone who has little talent but puts in the hours, talks to the right people, tries again many times after failure etc. Just look at many celebrities, politicians, business people, middle managers etc and you realise lack of talent or subject knowledge has never been a barrier to success. 

For me, motivation is an attitude you choose to have. If I had waited until I felt like getting out of bed this morning I would probably still be in there. But why do you have to feel like doing something in order to do it? Happiness and motivation are not things that strike you like a bolt of lightening, and it's not pre-determined by genetics and brain chemistry either, it's an attitude that you are choosing, either consciously or subconsciously, every day.

For the sake of it, I'll assume this is you being serious instead of trigger baiting or purposely not reading things. 

You misunderstand me. I'm not unique, and there's more than enough out there that has shown me that, condition or otherwise. Even the compulsive behavior and sleep disturbances are common tag alongs for this disorder, so as opposed to that specifying a unique combination it's actually expressing how similar that I am, how typical and categorizable that I am. I think quite similarly within a disorder that has been labeled as having no cure with a majority of others within it who don't make it, so is it really any mystery why I'd act like it is what it is? I can see the others like myself and see that they aren't getting better either, so go figure that I might not have the same levels of optimism as someone without it. This also doesn't mean that I've given up, as otherwise this level of composition would not be here and I'd be typing raw crazy in it's place. 

Uniqueness is a red herring, and "nobody can solve it" because, guess what, it hasn't been solved yet. I'm actually quite typical within these labels, even carrying the most common subtype of the disorder. You're likely drawing this "uniqueness" assumption from when I talk about how long it took to find others with the same label and how long it took for a proper diagnosis, which, what, am I just supposed to omit that part of my backstory to make myself look good in the eyes of those who'll potentially misread it (you)? 

My responses about people failing to get what was going on wasn't pride, especially back when I was trying to find answers for wtf was going on with me, it was humor based on their character, their responses, how they were about it, alongside delivering relevant backstory information. The failures aren't even novel, as this disorder is one that is misdiagnosed as other things often, especially from the larger symptoms not surfacing until past someone's twenties (sometimes even their thirties), but their failures were still an important part of the story that contextualizes what lead me to where I am today (and some were quite entertaining). Disorders with lower prevalence tend to be guessed later from how uncommon they are, but even 1% of the world's population still accounts for over seven million people. How is being the typical expectation within seven million people unique? 

What, would the better answer be to not talk about it, even if my bringing these things up tends to come from people asking me questions? I think you're focusing on my "being different" from your own appraisal of my "being different" as opposed to anything I'm doing. I'm stating differences that exist, while you seem to think I'm trying to be some sort of psych hipster for just stating traits and personal history about myself. That's like calling a midget a size hipster for talking about their height. 

Finding others like myself is haunting because it reflects either who I really am or who I'm likely to become. Would you like it if you looked at people like yourself and you saw that 95% of them were people that fail at life, loudly? As for what "normal" means, when I say that word, I'm meaning the average formed between the general population of functional people. It'd be hard to find someone who is "normal" despite said normal being used as the median of comparative behavior. 
 

I mean, this whole conversation people have offered you advice both practical and philosophical and you're clearly not open to it at all - you're just looking for ways to show how XXX wouldn't work for you because you're too special and different.

It's clear that you didn't read the reasons, you just saw that there were reasons at all. I discussed why they weren't something applicable instead of just being like "No". 

You'd benefit from some research and reading comprehension. 
 

Your obsession with lolcows, 'weird' stuff on the internet, putting people into categories and analysing the minutiae of people's lives to the point of obsession is symptomatic of this.

...how does enjoying stuff that a lot of people do reflect that I think I'm a special snowflake? You make no sense, and are forming these opinions solely from how you don't share them with those who do like these things. 
 

I'm sure that you do have genuine mental health problems, and you do have my sympathy there, but LOTS of people in the world do and still manage to live happy, meaningful lives.

It depends on the nature of the disorder. Again, do some research before you start acting like you know what you're talking about. At least with Haart she actually looked at science and stated past precedents, you're just on the attack based on some half-baked assumptions that show us more about you than me. 

If you feel like doing this sort of thing, at least try to look like you know what you're talking about and do a little more than skim read. 
 

Yes, there are some people with very severe problems who can't get out of bed, but you're clearly not one of them, so why bring them into it?

Those people were brought up in an earlier discussion, not one related to myself. 

Seriously, reading is fundamental. 
 

You manage to come to this forum pretty much every day and withstand the atmosphere here, and you managed to go travelling.

You have no idea how my travels went, and this forum environment is far from stressful. If anything this place is comforting. 
 

It's not that your problems in life aren't solvable, it's that you don't want to solve them. Even if you're not open to the idea of medication, there are plenty of people out there who could help you, but until you realise that you are in fact just a human being like everybody else it won't happen.

Okay, tell me how to solve it. Meds for this gamble pretty high the risk of fucking up lives permanently with no means of taking that decision back, the symptoms can't be willed away by talking them out from them being genetic instead of acquired, so what do you recommend from your well informed position? 

At most I could learn ways of dealing with it, tolerating it, much like I'm already doing. Sure the deterioration's still a notable thing I'll have to contend with, but there's still more functionality (right now) when compared to how I was when the worst of it first surfaced. 
 

Everything you've wrote on this thread just reads to me like a giant list of excuses.

You seem to have this idea of genetic determinism - that your genes are a certain way and your brain is wired a certain way and that's that, it governs everything you do and there's nothing you can do about it. It's such a lazy way to go through life and completely illogical. It's like saying, there's no point in studying for this exam or training for this marathon because either I'll make it or I won't. It's quite sad really, because although I don't think you're half as smart as you think you are, you still have a lot to offer and could do a lot with your life. 

You project so much ego onto me... 

It's closer to trying to tell someone to just grow another hand, and that if they haven't that they aren't trying hard enough, that they must not really want to have a third hand, that they're just making excuses for why it won't grow instead of just growing it. I can try to succeed, operate within this setup, but much like how I won't sprout a third hand I won't suddenly remold my brain into something physically better and more functional by willing it to be. 

It's like you feel entitled to happiness and success without putting any actual work into it.

Some of us have to work harder than others, and that's not fair, but it is the way it is. 

Seriously... read my posts instead of jumping to conclusions. I can't even really discuss things fully with you when you say stuff that directly contradicts the case. You've clearly skimmed with your eyes clinging onto key words that let you read portions of it, but overall you're missing a lot before you type. 
 

You moan about how competitive things are nowadays and how there are people out there much better than you. Again, literally EVERYONE feels this way, it's nothing specific to you.

So I shouldn't talk about it when something someone asked has that apply? I know it's not just me, I've brought up demographics around it more than once. If anything, it'd be better if it was just me. I also had no idea that this age bracket was "EVERYONE". 

This portion also is independent of disorder, it's a symptom of time and place. They aren't connected. 
 

Talking about career success, I don't know what industry you're planning on working in, but in pretty much any given field those who succeed aren't actually the ones who are best at what they do or know the most about the subject, it's about mental attitude - someone who is talented but lazy nine times out of ten won't be able to compete with someone who has little talent but puts in the hours, talks to the right people, tries again many times after failure etc. Just look at many celebrities, politicians, business people, middle managers etc and you realise lack of talent or subject knowledge has never been a barrier to success. 

Of course you'd assume I must be being lazy and carry a negative mental attitude into interviews. Again, read my posts, I've expressed how a lack of experience makes for walls these days. 

I do try, it's all I've been doing as I am not content staying in a minimum wage position. Even with the connections I do have the supply of workers is greater than the demand for them, especially in my field. 
 

For me, motivation is an attitude you choose to have.

Happiness and motivation are not things that strike you like a bolt of lightening, and it's not pre-determined by genetics and brain chemistry either, it's an attitude that you are choosing, either consciously or subconsciously, every day.

Well good for you, but that's not all there is to it. 

Actually, the majority of it is pre-determined. You're effectively complaining about a car having no fuel when the problem is really about the gas tank. You can keep filling it with gas, but you won't get the same results as you would from a normal car. 

You've obviously overlooked the portions where I say I'm still trying, but I can't be oblivious to my own situation just because it's unfavorable. I need to recognize what it is and accept it instead of pretend it's not there. 

TLDR: Read more, read better, and do some research. Your gists and generalizations are missing the mark, and the "negativity", while pessimistic, is actually acceptance. Typing things other than positivity isn't just "making excuses". 

I'm starting to think that some of you would only get what's going on with me if you actually saw it happen in front of you. 

Don't be a soar loser. You act the way TK does when she's wrong.

Turncoat stated: source post

For the sake of it, I'll assume this is you being serious instead of trigger baiting or purposely not reading things. 

You misunderstand me. I'm not unique, and there's more than enough out there that has shown me that, condition or otherwise. Even the compulsive behavior and sleep disturbances are common tag alongs for this disorder, so as opposed to that specifying a unique combination it's actually expressing how similar that I am, how typical and categorizable that I am. I think quite similarly within a disorder that has been labeled as having no cure with a majority of others within it who don't make it, so is it really any mystery why I'd act like it is what it is? I can see the others like myself and see that they aren't getting better either, so go figure that I might not have the same levels of optimism as someone without it. This also doesn't mean that I've given up, as otherwise this level of composition would not be here and I'd be typing raw crazy in it's place. 

Uniqueness is a red herring, and "nobody can solve it" because, guess what, it hasn't been solved yet. I'm actually quite typical within these labels, even carrying the most common subtype of the disorder. You're likely drawing this "uniqueness" assumption from when I talk about how long it took to find others with the same label and how long it took for a proper diagnosis, which, what, am I just supposed to omit that part of my backstory to make myself look good in the eyes of those who'll potentially misread it (you)? 

My responses about people failing to get what was going on wasn't pride, especially back when I was trying to find answers for wtf was going on with me, it was humor based on their character, their responses, how they were about it, alongside delivering relevant backstory information. The failures aren't even novel, as this disorder is one that is misdiagnosed as other things often, especially from the larger symptoms not surfacing until past someone's twenties (sometimes even their thirties), but their failures were still an important part of the story that contextualizes what lead me to where I am today (and some were quite entertaining). Disorders with lower prevalence tend to be guessed later from how uncommon they are, but even 1% of the world's population still accounts for over seven million people. How is being the typical expectation within seven million people unique? 

What, would the better answer be to not talk about it, even if my bringing these things up tends to come from people asking me questions? I think you're focusing on my "being different" from your own appraisal of my "being different" as opposed to anything I'm doing. I'm stating differences that exist, while you seem to think I'm trying to be some sort of psych hipster for just stating traits and personal history about myself. That's like calling a midget a size hipster for talking about their height. 

Finding others like myself is haunting because it reflects either who I really am or who I'm likely to become. Would you like it if you looked at people like yourself and you saw that 95% of them were people that fail at life, loudly? As for what "normal" means, when I say that word, I'm meaning the average formed between the general population of functional people. It'd be hard to find someone who is "normal" despite said normal being used as the median of comparative behavior. 
 

I mean, this whole conversation people have offered you advice both practical and philosophical and you're clearly not open to it at all - you're just looking for ways to show how XXX wouldn't work for you because you're too special and different.

It's clear that you didn't read the reasons, you just saw that there were reasons at all. I discussed why they weren't something applicable instead of just being like "No". 

You'd benefit from some research and reading comprehension. 
 

Your obsession with lolcows, 'weird' stuff on the internet, putting people into categories and analysing the minutiae of people's lives to the point of obsession is symptomatic of this.

...how does enjoying stuff that a lot of people do reflect that I think I'm a special snowflake? You make no sense, and are forming these opinions solely from how you don't share them with those who do like these things. 
 

I'm sure that you do have genuine mental health problems, and you do have my sympathy there, but LOTS of people in the world do and still manage to live happy, meaningful lives.

It depends on the nature of the disorder. Again, do some research before you start acting like you know what you're talking about. At least with Haart she actually looked at science and stated past precedents, you're just on the attack based on some half-baked assumptions that show us more about you than me. 

If you feel like doing this sort of thing, at least try to look like you know what you're talking about and do a little more than skim read. 
 

Yes, there are some people with very severe problems who can't get out of bed, but you're clearly not one of them, so why bring them into it?

Those people were brought up in an earlier discussion, not one related to myself. 

Seriously, reading is fundamental. 
 

You manage to come to this forum pretty much every day and withstand the atmosphere here, and you managed to go travelling.

You have no idea how my travels went, and this forum environment is far from stressful. If anything this place is comforting. 
 

It's not that your problems in life aren't solvable, it's that you don't want to solve them. Even if you're not open to the idea of medication, there are plenty of people out there who could help you, but until you realise that you are in fact just a human being like everybody else it won't happen.

Okay, tell me how to solve it. Meds for this gamble pretty high the risk of fucking up lives permanently with no means of taking that decision back, the symptoms can't be willed away by talking them out from them being genetic instead of acquired, so what do you recommend from your well informed position? 

At most I could learn ways of dealing with it, tolerating it, much like I'm already doing. Sure the deterioration's still a notable thing I'll have to contend with, but there's still more functionality (right now) when compared to how I was when the worst of it first surfaced. 
 

Everything you've wrote on this thread just reads to me like a giant list of excuses.

You seem to have this idea of genetic determinism - that your genes are a certain way and your brain is wired a certain way and that's that, it governs everything you do and there's nothing you can do about it. It's such a lazy way to go through life and completely illogical. It's like saying, there's no point in studying for this exam or training for this marathon because either I'll make it or I won't. It's quite sad really, because although I don't think you're half as smart as you think you are, you still have a lot to offer and could do a lot with your life. 

You project so much ego onto me... 

It's closer to trying to tell someone to just grow another hand, and that if they haven't that they aren't trying hard enough, that they must not really want to have a third hand, that they're just making excuses for why it won't grow instead of just growing it. I can try to succeed, operate within this setup, but much like how I won't sprout a third hand I won't suddenly remold my brain into something physically better and more functional by willing it to be. 

So many assumptions man