Sociopath Community

Dear Diary,

        Last night was really fun. After Aden fell asleep, Frank and I made prank phone calls. 

Man: Hello, this is the suicide prevention hotline for veterans. This is Paul

Frank: Im emo and i want to kill myself.

Man:  Can you repeat the first part?

Frank: Im emo and i want to kill myself.

Man: Are you a veteran?

Frank: no.

Man: Can u please give me the name of ur town and state?

Frank: hangs up

Woman: This is the suicide prevention hotline. im Jean.

Me: puts my phone to the other phone

Phone: Plays Sweatshirt by Jacob Sartorius

Woman: Hello?.....

Me: hang it up.

Franks:hangs up She said if we ever do it again. we'll be in trouble. 

Aden wakes up an  hour later. We ended up in the living room. I put in this CD and Frankie and I danced with him. We basically had these sheets over our heads and acted like fucking idiots. But, it was fun. 

By 12 in the morning we were all worn out and we put him to bed. 

  Today, I woke up at 10 AM. frank was already at work. i had Peanut Butter Crunch and gave Aden apple sauce. He really likes apple sauce. Todays been more of a "starve yourself day.'' Yesterday was more of a "Stuff your face day". Either way my health is gonna get fucked up. So im trying to make better changes. I picked up my medication (for anger managment) and we're now at the library. 

Dear Diary,

       I want attention. I.want someone to fill my ego. 

It's 3:22 AM. I binged and threw up. Fun. 

I had a lot of sex the other day. 

I'm planning for my wedding. 

Rembrandt is really fucking autistic. 

Kok. 

I enter into an all pick lobby, see that the enemy team immediately chose meepo and pl. My eyes light up as I've been practicing safe-lane carrying drills with Sven(cleave 4 life) so I choose him. I see someone on my team picks phantom assassin and that's when I start hearing daddy yankee's 'gasolina' being hot mic'd over what sounds like a house party. Void is picked next on my team along with ember. I get this bad feeling in my stomach knowing im going to be locked into this hour of pure ass rape as my Peruvian teammates try to go godlike. It's not like I can leave I thought, "I still have nightmares about those matches in low priority. I stopped playing Dota for a month after that." Before Im halfway through typing "support for the love of fucking god" I see our last teammate picked pudge and is now arguing with me about being in safe lane. I want to die, but today wont be the day. No, I'm going to fucking wreck this shit. No wards, no courier bought and 3 of the 5 enemy team names are in korean. It didn't matter, because I was going to carry until my fucking legs broke.

"support for the love of fucking god"

Do it!

~Frank

"I feel dead here. Tempted to jump on the back of a train and go wherever. I think I want the city life for a while. I should be on Broadway--star, audience member, idc. Fuck these old people and the shit drivers making me too broke for entertainment. I can't drive now without thinking I see someone driving into me. But it's not even thrilling. I haven't felt this underwhelmed in years."

HAHAHAAHHAHAAA

I killed my mom.

Morning: I made blueberry pancakes for Gerard and I. After he went to work, I played with my kitty. That sounds wrong. I mean an actual cat. Then, I curled up on the couch to watch Maury. I did chores yesterday. And today is my day off, so I get to have fun!

~ Frank

I told my psychologist some hours ago some weird stories. I confess It was not much to help the treatment, but to make her uncomfortable. I feel I achieved. She is being well paid for it thou.