Sociopath Community

There are certain people I put a time limit on, yes. Like my father. I knew there was nothing whatsoever I could gain in positive growth from him. I see him from a much healthier perspective having so much time away from him than I ever could hope to gain, staying in his presence, trying to figure out how to "accept" him. He once wrote me to say if I truly forgave him, then I wouldn't have to cut him out of my life. I wrote him back in probably the most genuine and careful way I ever have. Taking his feelings into consideration and also trying to put myself in his position. What if one of my daughter's disowned me? That would be the most emotional pain I think I could experience save them dying. After taking in this consideration, I thoughtfully told my father that cutting him out of my life was not about forgiveness. It was about thinking of myself first for a change. Caring about my own feelings and happiness instead of protecting him from his. The way I'd been doing my whole life to that point. 

Now these years later, I can see so much more about him than I ever could. I see him as a whole person now and accept who he is. But I can never go back because of the differences between he and I that cause me to regress. Because there is a huge difference. If my daughter disowned me, I would do everything in my power to find a way to make things right. To improve myself and repair the damage. I would show her every chance I got that I'm not giving up on us. 

My father just wants to keep being that same abusive selfindulgent asshole, but have ever one just accept him for it.

I aspire to a higher standard than that. I don't ask people to just accept my assholeness. Just put up with my shit, it's who I am. I don't say to my daughter, "Oh yeah? Mommy scares you sometimes? Well that's me kiddo. Just deal with it!"

Instead, I look inside myself and see if there is something that needs to change, and if there is, I strive to do so. What I've learned is that I've kept a lot of shitty people in my life because I don't put a time limit on how long is long enough. The deal is, you don't have to stick out a relationship to find a way to accept people and learn to see things from another perspective. 

It's OK to move on when there's no progress happening. Not everybody is meant to play a role in your life forever. That doesn't mean you didn't gain everything you could before it ended.

ImNotHer stated: source post

What is the point of learning to look at things from another perspective? Why should we consider the view point of other people? Why is it a good idea to consider our own viewpoint might be limiting?

One of the reasons for me to look at things for another perspective is communication. I edited this sentence 3 times, because i figured you wont understand what i am saying, without me explaining a bunch of other useless crap beforehand. Because i create shortcuts in my mind, but you wouldn't know these shortcuts.

The reason you should consider the view point of other people is, because all information is useful, wrong or right. Information is information and nothing else. You have to consider how to use it and what it means. I would listen to a total fool and to the most intelligent person equally, if they bring me new information. However total fools usually repeat themselves. Knowing less is limiting your information and not considering new perspectives is knowing less.

Can't we just figure it all out on our own? Shouldn't we just trust all our own judgment of the world and the people around us?

Yes we could, but that would be hard, unless you are a genius. Of course you should trust your own judgement. Your judgement should always be considered correct in your mind when you do the judging itself. Otherwise you will be indecisive, weak and slow. You may be wrong and this is a chance you should take.

However, defining the judgement standards is done when you are not judging. That's when you compile all the information you have acquired by any means, including other peoples perspectives.

Isn't it better to just think you know enough already?

No. Until we know, for a fact, that we know everything, you do not know enough.

The hard way of learning the truth is better, right?

What is the hard way lol? Doing it yourself? The hard way is never better, as its harder and you still get the same result.

It may not get you the whole truth, or even a sliver of the truth, but at least you won't be made a fool of, yeah?

Making a fool of yourself is quite subjective, but in the general sense, its irrelevant.

At least your ego gets to stay in tact! Because let's face it, that's what strong people do. Protect themselves from risk to ego damage. What has anyone ever learned by risking being made a fool of? 

Strong people can deal with damage. However strong people deal with real damage and in general, there is no real damage involved in making yourself a fool.

What has anyone ever learned from failing?

You learn a lot more in failing actually. If you observe the fail process, you can see each step and each failure. When you win, you usually already know everything, or you are lucky.

Probably how to succeed. That might be another way to look at it.

Seems like great minds think alike.

Xena stated: source post

I love old encyclopedias. I would buy a set just bc they're such handsome books.

You kids probably don't remember what it was like to own a set of handsome books, do you?

I have read a lot of encyclopedias when i was younger, ranging from dinosaurs, the human body and the universe, to civilizations, weapons of the world and weird and crazy shit.

ImNotHer stated: source post

How easily can you be persuaded to trust another person's point of view over your own?

That's irrelevant. Unless you are person people need to vote for. In this case, you need to see what the bigger demographic that will vote likes in a person and simulate it in your charm. Nothing to do with arguments lol.

It's irrelevant to persuade other people, only state the truth and the facts as you know them and consider the new information that the other part brings. A debate is for you, not for them. What they get out of it, is their own issue.

Do you easily switch sides if someone gives you an opposite opinion of someone over your own?

I do not take sides, unless i have to. And i switch sides in that case almost never, as once a side is chosen, you need to play it to the end, or why choose a side, if you do not want to be loyal and win with it? I would switch only if the basis of the formation of the side is in direct conflict with reality. 

Daniella stated: source post

 

Xena stated: source post

 

You kids probably don't remember what it was like to own a set of handsome books, do you?

i actually just started building a book collection. actual books, not anything digital. i prefer holding a book and turning the pages since it makes the experience better and i already spend enough time looking at glowing squares (lecture powerpoints, phone, laptop, etc). i hope physical books don't end up becoming extinct.

I do not like books and i think they should all be made digital. Because knowledge is too important to be kept on a fragile, one location, hard to copy, that dies overtime book.

Its possible we will have digital books that can "write"(load) any book on their digital "papers" soon thought, so you can have fun with that.

"No, I've no reason to avoid you. In fact, I never noticed we've hardly spoken until now. I suppose there just hasn't been a reason for us to engage in conversation."

I figured the same. Maybe Dani was manipulating me. Oh that sly one! Lol

Without sounding too narcy, I think I'm pretty skilled at this. I tend to pick up other people's perspectives easily and am able to spot people's agendas quickly and not in a cynical way. If someone is an obvious douche I can dissect it pretty fast and spot their motivation. Once I understand a motivation I sit back and observe and if I care I can find the angle to reach a consensus, create dissent or disengage. I can emotionally engage or detach pretty fast. Only those closest to me, who I really trust, can push my buttons to any large degree and in that case if I am triggered, I may lose sight of their perspective and only see my own. I strive to not do this but meh - human. 

Scientists say people are attracted chemically to ones with very different immune systems. It ensures the child will have a more diverse resistance. 

with your father, is it like passive abuse in that he refuses to accept responsibility for the things he did, or more active abuse?

Sugar stated: source post

with your father, is it like passive abuse in that he refuses to accept responsibility for the things he did, or more active abuse?

Active.

Acceptance of ones flaws should only be considered when they do you more good then damage(or equal).

Otherwise its pointless.

Its irrelevant why someone does damage to you, if they do you less good. That's their problem and its not your problem unless you make it yours. And you should only make it yours if you accept them and i already said when you should accept them

I do not think this is even connected to perspectives, as that's just information.

I've learned to trust my instincts, as they have proven repeatedly to be more valid than the thoughts of others. Regardless, receptiveness to other perspectives is not an issue for me. Integration of said perspectives is a matter of personal conviction, and I'm rather cynical.

From what I've seen you are open minded to hear the opinions of others but not so much to accept them as a possibility. Trusting your own judgment is important, of course, but as someone continually "maintaining" (not saying self sabatoging) with substances how confident can you truly be 24/7? No one has questioned your intellect, which is made more obvious by your ability to communicate well, but if you don't remember what you do one night versus another then how are you so able to be secure in your opinions over others? At what point does it not become hubris? 

Turncoat stated: source post

Putting yourself into another perspective makes it easier to speak directly into their heads. If you can phrase things similarly to how they already think, then you can guide their thought processes towards your own. Perspective taking is the ability to learn a mind's language. It's a tool of manipulation with understanding as it's codex. Without it being done on either side you might as well be speaking gibberish, as without bothering to perspective take you're really just talking to yourself. 
 

Nice.