Sociopath Community

"Rape: Women or Men?"

I've been in the privileged and not-so-privileged (respectively) position of experiencing this in both a professional and personal capacity. 

I can unequivocally say that both male and female victims experience an indistinguishable degree of suffering. In my professional experience, responses may differ slightly. Females are more inclined to self-harm (by cutting, burning, starving), males are more inclined to develop addictions and complete suicide. Both suffer enormously.

(Obviously, pregnancy as a result of sexual assault will complicate a risk-assessment. However, that isn't representative of the majority of male-on-female rape.)

Rape has been going on since the dawn of time (figuratively for the smarty pantses) some ducks as I so delightfully discovered, (thanks ken) have evolved to combat the pregnancy part! Humans have not evolved to combat a single thing about it. (Unless you count medicine and the judicial system as evolution, (it's not)) I'm not victim shaming or bashing, I'm just curious. Do people need it to be a big deal? Is it any worse than the lack of power you feel from say, an abusive parent you're too little to stop putting you in ICU? People recover from that just fine and it's not a constant Gasp inducing topic over wine...Is it really a lot easier to get over than they say it is? You'd think so, with it being such a part of human history..

Kids die from internal injuries from being kicked the shit out of at three years old, they seem fine if they live. I'm wonderin I guess WHY it's a big deal, as opposed to other types of assault. Is it because there is such a taboo on it that victims feel EXPECTED to feel that way? And you don't come off as strong, passionate but not heavily worded with the fuck this and that and all that jazz, I appreciate passion, in all of its forms. 

angee12880113 stated: source post

I'm on my phone so please forgive my lazy quotes, I know you're intelligent and can gather what parts of your response I'm referring to without them. As for where I'm gathering that expectation, it's just from talking to people. I guess I'm easy to talk to because just about everyone tells me their childhood and if it's physical abuse, and not sexual, I've noticed they don't react as emotionally when retelling. Also yes, that did answer my question between extreme abuse in both forms. Thank you.

Interestingly, I've found that when talking to patients about abuse that is considered extreme - whether sexual or physical - (as corroborated by other parties, mainly police or witnesses), affect is diminished. That is to say, emotional reactivity is incongruently reduced.

Minor abuse tends to provoke the most noticeable emotional reaction, perhaps because it is able to be readily processed. More severe abuses are often suppressed to some degree (or entirely repressed, in some cases). This is particularly evident in children, to the credit of infantile amnesia XD (Emoticon due to an element of irony).

Stigma also plays an enormous role. Patients are more likely to have reduced affect for sexual trauma, because there is often an element of perceived "fault". This is less so in physical trauma.

haart stated: source post

Interestingly, I've found that when talking to patients about abuse that is considered extreme - whether sexual or physical - (as corroborated by other parties, mainly police or witnesses), affect is diminished. That is to say, emotional reactivity is incongruently reduced.

Minor abuse tends to provoke the most noticeable emotional reaction, perhaps because it is able to be readily processed. More severe abuses are often suppressed to some degree (or entirely repressed, in some cases). This is particularly evident in children, to the credit of infantile amnesia XD (Emoticon due to an element of irony).

Stigma also plays an enormous role. Patients are more likely to have reduced affect for sexual trauma, because there is often an element of perceived "fault". This is less so in physical trauma.

For some reason, this reminds me of the topic Being "Dramatic" Over Small Things.

I'm on my phone so please forgive my lazy quotes, I know you're intelligent and can gather what parts of your response I'm referring to without them. As for where I'm gathering that expectation, it's just from talking to people. I guess I'm easy to talk to because just about everyone tells me their childhood and if it's physical abuse, and not sexual, I've noticed they don't react as emotionally when retelling. Also yes, that did answer my question between extreme abuse in both forms. Thank you.

Anal

Edvard stated: source post

 

 

Daniella stated: source post

no. i only took physical suffering into account. 

part of me is inclined to say that the emotional consequences are roughly equal, but i do honestly have a feeling men would suffer more damage because of their supposed roles in society and how emasculating it would feel.

 As a huge generalization though I can say we tend to get more detached emotionally regarding the sex act. It comes easier to separate the physical from emotional since it's in the biology of men to behave in a way to impregnate more women instead of sticking with the first one. Women are naturally more emotional in the way they relate to sex. Trust, bonding, feeling comfortable emotionally is a thing to them, and sex tends to become something more meaningful and deep (and yeah I know plenty of counterexamples, just bare with me). This is why I'd say women would be more affected emotionally by rape.

i know how men tend to not respond emotionally to sex, but rape is different from sex because of the power dynamic.

That us interesting, and makes sense. I haven't PERSONALLY talked to anyone about abuse that I considered severe. More along the lines of some friend of the family or family member molested them, raped them in their teens, or beat them. I've just noticed that the sexually abused ones seem to cry more, and talk about how weak and powerless they felt, while the non sexually abuse ones tend to brush it off, but they suffered more physical pain, even if it's not a lot. I brought up ICU because it seemed as extreme as a little kid being raped.

As far as fault and guilt go, non sexually abused kids can have just as much I think. Depending on if they aren't capable of looking at a situation for what it is anyway. Personal experience time, just to make a point, siiiiigh. My mom had a really shitty husband, he would beat the ever loving shit out of me, and she would tell me it was my fault because I taunted him. Did I? Yes. Does that excuse his behavior? No. Was I to blame? No. But, I can see WHY another child might feel like it was her fault. The man didnt need a reason to hurt me, she needed to justify it, my behavior would have justified it regardless of how I acted. If I wasn't able to distinguish between just a cunt man, and a weak mother, I might have believed her, and actually been scared of him, and tried my best to be a 'good kid', so he didn't have a 'reason' to be a cunt man. I obviously knew that regardless of how I chose to act, he would do what he wanted, so why not have some fun with it and make him as crazy as I could. Figured if he was going to kill me, I might as well torment him while I had the chance. But now I'm derailing. All in all, kids are easy to convince of just about anything, hell they dont even need a grown up to do it for them, how many kids blame themselves over divorce, or a death, or an accident? I'm not sure if guilt or fault are anymore prevalent in sexual abuse cases than in any other case.