Being a forum that runs around with psychological things I suppose I'd like to make a post about something in relation to it. I'd be curious to know what other people experience in terms of anxiety.
So since about last June I have been experiencing allot of anxiety, in the beginning it was slow, every now and then I'd be a little anxious, but non the worse for wear, slowly over time it has begun to evolve into something more problematic for me.
About a month of off and on anxiety I started to drink more frequently, about every weekend or so, now fast forward to mid september.
By now I am becoming more dependant on alcohol, drinking every other day. The anxiety is starting to worsen. I almost never sleep.
October: my first panic attack, after finally getting over it I drink until blackout, and there the trend started.
December, all symptoms in full swing, drinking daily, and experimenting with drugs again.
January: I decide to try to cut back on the drinking, making improvement, but the anxiety remains the same
February, I may have drank 3 times the whole month, having panic attacks about 3-4 times a week. Major depression as well.
March: I begin therapy, anxiety is destroying all personal relations I have with people, I am trying my best to make changes, but it is difficult.
About 2 weeks ago: finally was able to stop a panic attack before it started. This works inconsistently, the anxiety keeps coming.
Now: anxiety is coupled with vomiting, panic attacks, and unable to breath. Some progress has been made, but symptoms are worsening. I try not to drink so often, but I think it's high time I just drink every single day again, if I'm blacked out I can't panic.
For me anyway, anxiety requires numbing to face without responding to it in public. It doesn't go away, but if it's allowed to progress where you will beat yourself up later it can build onto itself worse than fighting to resist it. Bottling isn't healthy, but holding it until it's safe to let out is how I've made it this far. Outlets are my everything.
Substances don't let you grow from reducing the severity or from letting you pretend it isn't there, while resisting it provides a sheild made of scar tissue. It sucks, but it is what it is.
The real drawback of numbing is that you'll feel everything else less intensely as well, but it's better than the current narrative.
Virus stated: source post
Warrior...
I don't like hearing this. Drinking to escape is the same as running away. You're no coward. What happened last May/June that you haven't confronted or didn't go the way you intended? Something triggered you... Let's find it and kick it's ass.
Life has been throwing curveballs at me for a bit, the core issues isn't always based on certain events but rather a restriction and loss of freedom I used to enjoy.
Hello Cain,
I'm the guy you were speaking to last night, we talked awhile about addictions and things of that nature.
Alcohol is a depressant, so while it may help in the short term, numbing you to the feelings of anxiety and depression at that moment while you are buzzed and not giving a crap about anything, overall its depressing you in the long term even more.
I agree with the others who said that you should stick with the therapy. It helps a lot of people, myself included, to talk to trained therapists about your problems because it feels good to get it off your chest a lot of the time, rather than bottling it in and letting it eat away at your sanity, leading to panic attacks and what not.
I've had two panic attacks that I can remember vividly, they are awful ordeals and I wouldn't wish them upon anyone, especially someone like you, who I don't actually know personally, but after chatting with you for awhile, I can tell you are a pretty decent motherfucker.
I don't know if you are the religious type, or even the type that doesn't believe in God as an all knowing deity in the way that Catholics, Jews, Christians, etc. believe, but I know there are some people who believe in organizing deity's of the universe. Maybe it would help if you would pray, or meditate, and offer whatever is bothering you or on your mind constantly to God, or whatever your belief system may be. That works for me many times.
I get anxiety at night when I'm going through a rough patch in life, and if I keep praying, I just offer it up to God and put it into His hands, and it helps me. If you aren't religious, try to get into a deep meditative state if you are into that and know how to do things like that. For me, I find when I pray, I don't have time to think about my guilt from all the awful things I've done in the past, and all the stress of not knowing what's going to become of me in the future, so I've been trying to live in the present lately, and trying my hardest to make the right choices as they come up, and so far it seems to be working. I'm happier, I feel more grounded and less aloof.
A therapist told me before to keep a journal, perhaps that would help you. When you write things down, you remove them from your brain in a way. Like making a grocery list. You know you need a loaf of bread so you put it on your grocery list, and you forget about it, but when you goto the grocery store and you forgot the list, you can't remember for the life of you what you needed since you wrote it down and didn't need to remember that anymore since it was on your list.
The therapist used that analogy about journaling. Writing things down has a way of getting it out of your head.
Either way, good luck my man. Holla at me sometime if you need someone just to vent the frustration to. I'm a pretty good listener and you and me been through much of the same nonsense.