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Being insecure


Posts: 1842

That is the worst one can be called over here... insecure. But as a detail thinker I have no idea what a trait of insecurity would even look like. Some kind of explanation would be in order.

Posts: 2358
Being insecure

There is a certain amount of insecurity in looking insecure.  The normal tactic, as it is used here, is just to shoot bullets at your feet in order to try and make you dance, regardless of any "real" insecurities.  (Sometimes as "bait" like you say.)

Posts: 2358
Being insecure

However, as a paranoid (I mean myself, specifically), I'm not sure how to define these things in terms of insecurities.  It's a strange pathology of rational-seeming irrationalities.  There's an airy sort of superposition of thought when in particularly acute times of paranoia where common sense and even insurmountable past history to the contrary of something still manages to catch you unexpectedly.  You can observe the paranoia while undergoing it.  It has a little bit of a dissociative flavor to it.

Posts: 1842
Being insecure

IDK, it seems like bait at times, LOL.

But for me, insecurity is always about something. I can't for my life see it as a trait. I might be insecure starting a new job because I'm not sure how quickly I will learn or how good I will be at it.

I figure it is much about being secure in social situations though, not carrying emotional baggage and be perceived as weak. I doubt people exist that are insecure about every aspect of their lives. If someone is insecure about a lot of things, I'm pretty sure that will show as poor self esteem.

Posts: 1346
Being insecure

I'll jab at this, an insecurity would be taking something very personally whether or not it was even directed at said individual.

If something can cause a negative reaction out of a person, there may be an underlying insecurity, though this is not always the case.

Say I am insecure about my weight, which I would venture to say many people are. If somebody called me "piggy" or the like, I may feel shame, it would show physically, though on the Internet we cannot see facial expressions, rather you may be met with a retort, a comeback. It really depends person to person. 

 

There may be too many possible outcomes to all of this. Everybody is different in a way. As it stands on an online forum there may not be a specific formula to seeing if somebody is truly insecure about something.

Posts: 2216
Being insecure

SensitiveSoul stated: source post

That is the worst one can be called over here... insecure. But as a detail thinker I have no idea what a trait of insecurity would even look like. Some kind of explanation would be in order.

 

Being insecure and how a person chooses at act over it are two different things. But there's still the typical expectations of how an insecure person acts, and it's usually petty behavior.

A good example of typical insecure behavior can be seen in the condition known as the Napoleon complex, aka little man syndrome, short man syndrome, or little people syndrome. The insecurity is a self perceived view, of being the little one, which in turn motivates aggressive behavior to make a point. Some studies suggest this is a myth, while others found the little man to be more prone to jealousy.

Being 6'1, I've witnessed the Napoleon complex countless times over a number of little men. The fact that I'm even writing this can trigger them.

Traits of insecurity.....The most insecure little man I know, holds grudges and complains about it for several years, often bringing down the people around him who don't even care about it, He'd complain so frequent, we can see how he trembles in his sleep. Everyone both him and I know in the same circle, this guy talked behind everyone's back, so obviously he does the same with me too, and everyone knows he does this. I watched this little fella sever relationships then rave on about it as though the person they cut off just lost big time.

If you have an insecure person in your life, like some friend of yours, do not mix this person with anyone you're interested in dating, they will wreck your game or bring you down by acting like your superior, forcing you to comply or look childish and get into a confrontation with them in the presence of your new squeeze. While they are not acting like themselves, you'll know how much it would please them if you were jealous of them.

Insecure people I find are inflexible and dramatic. In person they treat new people like gold, and are conscious about making a perfect appearance, so they act charismatic and very opinionated while preaching fixes and advice to the strangers other people acquaint them too. They'll later on ask or wonder if they messed up. I've seen businesses go tits up because the insecure partner would go around talking behind the back of their business partners and shortly after sabotaging the company because they never out shined the partner. As it is with them, it's always now or never.

Insecurity should not be confused with low self esteem. The single attribute of low self esteem also applies to constructive people who have no desire to tarnish others over perceptions of class.

 

 

 

Posts: 1842
Being insecure

Looking insecure is being insecure?

Having a few buttons people can find and push is being insecure?

Still IDK. They need to have hella lotta buttons.

Posts: 1566
Being insecure

Insecure is not being secure in a certain characteristic you have. So when someone points it out, you get emotional and as a result irrational, sometimes unnoticed by you, and it spills in how you behave. You get emotional because you feel like someone found your weak spot and you either can't handle it, or you feel a need to protect yourself.

 

I think everyone have insecurities, the question is how you handle them. And if you are aware to an extend about them, you can work towards fixing them and you can shield yourself from being poked, because you know what hurts you, so you can prepare and ignore the emotions you get.

Posts: 755
Being insecure

"I had one of these that followed me around for a decade."

What made him stop? Where is he now?

Posts: 10218
Being insecure

I am insecure when it comes to my own self criticism, but that in turn makes it harder for others to hurt me. Anything they try to target I've likely already left calloused over from thinking about it too much prior to their attempt.

People think that makes me strong, but it really doesn't. It's more numbing than anything, which in itself yields the contradictory display of the weakness that it truely roots from. Strength itself tends to root from a greater weakness, and I am not exempt from that.

My insecurity is both a shield and a wound. It's a toughened scab that keeps trying to heal a larger problem, but for whatever reason I can't stop picking at it.

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