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Posts: 95
About my mother

Cain stated: source post

 

 

I'm not trying to paint my mother in a bad light, I am just going with patterns and facts. 

Why do you feel the need to point this out?  Why do you care if your mother is painted in a bad light on a forum full of strangers? 

These are my ideas as to why:

1) you have an irrational fear she will find out what you said,  the message being for her,  and not us. 

2) because you are very empathetic,  and the idea of hurting somebody who hurts you still does not feel justified, 

As of lately (less when I was younger) iv felt like my mother only cares about herself. Like nobody else matters.

Kinda like a narcissist?

 

When I was younger I thought she was the best mom ever. Although I don't remember much of my childhood. I do remember my mother always painting my dad in a negative light ( I believe she did this to gain sympathy from me and gain control over me from my father) 

Common narcissistic trait is common.  She has to be the favorite in her mind, or perhaps she painted him in a negative light because he honestly was a negative person. 

She was never satisfied. I remember this time my dad came home from work. My dad was unhappy with the way my mother cooked potatoes (he likes them mashed, no chunks) when my dad confronted her, it was his fault, because "you're to picky" 

So I imagine she has feelings of being inferior based off this. Why get defensive,  when she can be offensive instead? 

 

I remember times when she was drunk while getting me off the school bus. She often smoked weed while I was in the car. She told me her joints where "little cigarettes" 

She is an adult doing adult things,  this doesn't hurt you. She is maintaining a life of being a mom,  a wife, and her own life. 

 

Just the other day, I forgot my iPad open. It had a picture of my bum on it ( I was sending to a guy friend) when she walked by and seen "is that your bum?" She asked. "Yes" replied. "Oh it's a nice bum then".

See now I'm curious about your age and gender,  I can tell you are European. Maybe 16? Guy friend?  Hmm. . I'll assume female for now. Moreover,  why are you telling us this?  Too much butter, not enough bread. 

 

A couple days later her and I went to my aunt and cousins. We were all at the tabled conversing, joking and having a good time. She told them about this. I was very embarrassed and shameful. But brushed it off as a joke. 

So you realize you are not a sociopath right?  Ok, good.  Because this pretty much proves that. 

 

There are so many other evens I could use as example but I'd be here all day. I believe I have been conditioned. 

Well,  if you stop doing stupid shit you don't want people to poke fun at,  then either stop doing the stupid shit. Or "grow a pair". If this is supposed to be some sort of example of "abuse" or some maltreatment, you are expecially thin skinned.

 

If she is. It's a hard pill to swallow. I just want clarity. I just want to be able to help myself mend and grow is the best way that I can. But I honestly don't know how to do that. 

Well here are some helpful tips just for you. 

1) grow up

2) suck it up

3) get over it 

4) realize your life is easy as shit

 

-personal note- 

Opening this post I assumed I would get to read about some childhood trauma, my younger years were spent sleeping in a barn, shitting in a bucket,  and being starved. That's just a fragment of the shit I put up with. Coming to a forum and crying because your mother embarrassed you isn't abuse,  it isn't making you a sociopath,  you are "being conditioned". You are honestly a thin skinned whiny,  entitled bitch. You came here for the truth of what we think,  well here are some facts,  swallow it, or just keep crying.

 

Cain stated: source post

 

 

I'm not trying to paint my mother in a bad light, I am just going with patterns and facts. 

Why do you feel the need to point this out?  Why do you care if your mother is painted in a bad light on a forum full of strangers? 

These are my ideas as to why:

1) you have an irrational fear she will find out what you said,  the message being for her,  and not us. 

2) because you are very empathetic,  and the idea of hurting somebody who hurts you still does not feel justified, 

As of lately (less when I was younger) iv felt like my mother only cares about herself. Like nobody else matters.

Kinda like a narcissist?

 

When I was younger I thought she was the best mom ever. Although I don't remember much of my childhood. I do remember my mother always painting my dad in a negative light ( I believe she did this to gain sympathy from me and gain control over me from my father) 

Common narcissistic trait is common.  She has to be the favorite in her mind, or perhaps she painted him in a negative light because he honestly was a negative person. 

She was never satisfied. I remember this time my dad came home from work. My dad was unhappy with the way my mother cooked potatoes (he likes them mashed, no chunks) when my dad confronted her, it was his fault, because "you're to picky" 

So I imagine she has feelings of being inferior based off this. Why get defensive,  when she can be offensive instead? 

 

I remember times when she was drunk while getting me off the school bus. She often smoked weed while I was in the car. She told me her joints where "little cigarettes" 

She is an adult doing adult things,  this doesn't hurt you. She is maintaining a life of being a mom,  a wife, and her own life. 

 

Just the other day, I forgot my iPad open. It had a picture of my bum on it ( I was sending to a guy friend) when she walked by and seen "is that your bum?" She asked. "Yes" replied. "Oh it's a nice bum then".

See now I'm curious about your age and gender,  I can tell you are European. Maybe 16? Guy friend?  Hmm. . I'll assume female for now. Moreover,  why are you telling us this?  Too much butter, not enough bread. 

 

A couple days later her and I went to my aunt and cousins. We were all at the tabled conversing, joking and having a good time. She told them about this. I was very embarrassed and shameful. But brushed it off as a joke. 

So you realize you are not a sociopath right?  Ok, good.  Because this pretty much proves that. 

 

There are so many other evens I could use as example but I'd be here all day. I believe I have been conditioned. 

Well,  if you stop doing stupid shit you don't want people to poke fun at,  then either stop doing the stupid shit. Or "grow a pair". If this is supposed to be some sort of example of "abuse" or some maltreatment, you are expecially thin skinned.

 

If she is. It's a hard pill to swallow. I just want clarity. I just want to be able to help myself mend and grow is the best way that I can. But I honestly don't know how to do that. 

Well here are some helpful tips just for you. 

1) grow up

2) suck it up

3) get over it 

4) realize your life is easy as shit

 

-personal note- 

Opening this post I assumed I would get to read about some childhood trauma, my younger years were spent sleeping in a barn, shitting in a bucket,  and being starved. That's just a fragment of the shit I put up with. Coming to a forum and crying because your mother embarrassed you isn't abuse,  it isn't making you a sociopath,  you are "being conditioned". You are honestly a thin skinned whiny,  entitled bitch. You came here for the truth of what we think,  well here are some facts,  swallow it, or just keep crying.

"She is an adult doing adult things,  this doesn't hurt you. She is maintaining a life of being a mom,  a wife, and her own life." 

You make it clear you have no real integrity. 

 

"my younger years were spent sleeping in a barn, shitting in a bucket, and being starved" 

All aboard the victim train. Choo-choo. 

Posts: 1892
About my mother

Interesting...

My understanding often gets confused with compassion.  That's cool.  How old is your Mother and I didn't catch if you have siblings?

Posts: 57
About my mother

Run.
This place is not for you, it is not what you think. You will find no clarity here. Get help from a professional.

...that said, it seems that most of the problem is that you seem to be a weak, egocentric person.

Telling your dad he's too picky was on point. If he wants his food just-such-a-way then he can make it himself instead of whining that it isn't perfect like a spoiled toddler.

Drinking and taking weed are adult choices. You need to remember that your mom is a person first, and your mom second. She doesn't owe her every waking decision to you, and she has a right to enjoy her life as long as she's not harming you by doing it. Now, if she was so drunk she puked on the bus driver and punched one of your classmates, thereby causing you a life of shame then maybe one could say it was a problem. But just "being drunk" for a little while isn't harmful to a kid. Smoking weed actually makes you a better driver, believe it or not- more cautious. She called them "little cigarettes" because kids can't be trusted not to go repeating shit to others like an idiot and your mom didn't want you taken away and put into a foster home.

I don't feel bad for people who take pictures of themselves and get embarrassed when someone unintended sees the pictures. It's just your own stupid fault for taking pictures of your ass, maybe the embarrassment and shame will help you not make that mistake again. If you wanna show someone your naked body parts, wait until you're both in the same room.


As I can see, nothing you've said is particularly bad and definitely not abusive, at all, not even close. Ask around here and you'll find out what REAL conditioning is, what REAL abuse is (actually, don't. Most of them will lie just to fuck with you and the rest will start bawwing and never shut up). If the rest is the same as what you've written here already, then you have lived a charmed life. I suggest you go on google or youtube and look up: "child of sociopath", "child of narcissist", child of borderline", or just straight up "child abuse". Take a good long look, then be grateful for your own life and stop bitching.
If you need help, get a therapist for yourself.

Posts: 10218
About my mother

Here's a Reddit that might interest you: /r/raisedbynarcissists
 

Onetwothree stated: source post

Just the other day, I forgot my iPad open. It had a picture of my bum on it ( I was sending to a guy friend) when she walked by and seen "is that your bum?" She asked. "Yes" replied. "Oh it's a nice bum then".

There's so much room for discussion here. 

Posts: 95
About my mother

Then like, what is this forum about then? 

Posts: 250
About my mother

we talk about when we torture cats and the like, mostly

Posts: 95
About my mother

Please, discuss. I'd love to hear what you guys have to say. Perhaps it will even help. 

Posts: 152
About my mother

I guess it's supposed to be a forum for sociopaths not their victims... Although I think we may actually be out of sociopaths. Mostly just BPDs and Narcissists now that we've lost our little piggly wiggly.

Posts: 152
About my mother

I think you may have confused this place with a support group for victims of sociopathy and so have landed yourself in quit the opposite. Good luck and God speed, kiddo.

Posts: 152
About my mother

I guess it's supposed to be a forum for sociopaths not their victims... Although I think we actually be out of sociopaths. Mostly just BPDs and Narcissists now that we've lost our little piggly wiggly.

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