Tinder is a terrible place full of Crossfitters and pictures of guys holding up fish. What if we had something better? What if we had a place where someone could easily find the Cluster B personality of their dreams instead of taking the chance of accidentally hooking up with a rational person who's interested in an honest relationship?
Never happen, you say? Don't think anyone could ever love you? You're probably right.
Go ahead and post your SC dating profile here anyway.
age: 2log(69)
likes: memes, your father, lunch meat, trap, trapping, traps, bear traps.
dislikes: patrick duffy, blacks, tomatoes, libertarians, 8ball
I sexually identify as a golden eagle, NOT A BALD EAGLE #iraqwaruncovered. If you make any advances towards me, I will block you. Men must be 6'7 and under 140lbs, and if youre not into baby-father roleplay, then count yourself fucking out.
age: 912, but i was reborn 20 years ago, so physically im 20
ethnicity: im half annunaki (look it up), half human
sex: full blown hermaphrodite ;), i have a 15 in penis with a 10 in girth and a tight pussy
seeking: cis males, cis females, full blown herms with BOTH WORKING parts, no trans please. please don't call me transphobe. its a preference
likes: fucking myself, nude modeling, practicing my telekinesis and other powers, visiting nibiru, satanism
dislikes: most humans, manipulators that make it obvious, earth,
im open to all sexual things besides SOME things that are illegal. if you want a relationship, you'll have to be ok with sharing me with others, including aliens possibly in the future
An example format was requested, so here one is:
30 yr old / F
Emotionless psychopath seeks obsessive narcissist for long term on-again/off-again relationship. Please don't break in to my house.
Likes: Long walks on the beach, dogs, everything exactly in the place I put it
Dislikes: You moving shit around - seriously, I can't find anything - CUT THAT SHIT OUT!
Perfect date: I come home to find you waiting for me at my house. Nothing has been moved around. I get laid. You go home, preferably after I get laid.
20/M/Turkey
Likes: Kebabs, fast food, emotionally terrorizing people, children that don't call CPS, lynching, traps
Dislikes: Minorities, girls that don't put out, cops that secure crowds from explosions and shootings
Description: I am a very gentle and kind soul that will NEVER molest and groom your teens and kids into sexual pets (just in case you get that idea), will show up on second dates even if you put out, will pay his taxes and act calmly and unharmful in minority protest crowds (i hate having my clothes touched / inspected while these events happen though) and never call you fat and stupid and cackle maniacally while you weep in self-disgust and shame. Any screams that come from my basement are from my 5.1 stereo surround media system that I forget on all the time so don't worry and don't check lest you might get attacked by the ghosts there (they have a weird habit of screaming "please stop the rotating dildo uncle i cant take it anymore boo hoo" fucked up ghosts man)
