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Panic attack


Posts: 408

I wanted to write down what’s been happening the past couple of days but now that i’ve actually sat down to write it i don’t know where to start. I’ve just written this for myself to try and make sense of it, but now i’ve wrote it i may as well post it and see if anyone has any thoughts/comments. 

The serious shit started last night. I was just drifting off to sleep, very relaxed, when suddenly my heart started beating really, really fast, i could feel it thumping in my chest, and very irregular, like it seemed to stop for ages and start again quickly. I couldn’t move, perhaps like sleep paralysis, and my hands and arms were numb and tingly. I couldn’t breathe, well, i could, but only very shallow breaths. I was desperately trying to gulp in some air, in but my chest was really tight and the breath just wouldn’t go in. I tried to call for help but no sound would come out, and i couldn’t move my arms to reach my phone. 

It was like someone had blocked off my ears, like my ear canals started to narrow or smth, then there was a man’s voice, very calm and clear, saying ‘something’s happening’ over and over again. He might have said ‘something’s wrong’ a few times as well, but mostly it was just ‘something’s happening’. I know it was coming from inside my head, but it was the clearest voice i’ve ever heard, as real as someone talking in real life. 

i thought I was having a heart attack, and my first thought was, ‘I’m not ready to die yet’. But when no sound would come out of my mouth i realised there was nothing i could do, and decided just to relax into it and let whatever was going to happen happen. I started thinking about how nobody in my family had ever suffered from heart disease before, how upset my grandma would be that she is outliving many of her descendants, how long it would take for someone to come round to the house or report me missing, whether people would judge the rather disreputable collection of empty wine bottles i seem to have accumulated in my room when they find me. 

The attacks lasted about 5 mins each, but happened one after the other, like multiple orgasms. I reckon about an hour in total. It wasn’t until about half way through i realised it was probably just a panic attack. I recognised the symptoms from reading James Fallon’s book. Can’t remember what it was called but it was a good read. 

After about 20 mins or so the ‘something’s happening’ voice started to fade and was replaced by other voices, a couple arguing, a newsreader reading the news, somebody calling out a list of names, snippets of conversations and background noise. There were flashing lights also. Once I opened my eyes and there was a flashing sign saying ‘danger’ above my head, but mostly i kept my eyes closed. As I relaxed I started to actually enjoy the experience, being so out of it and handing control completely over to whatever was happening to me. Even the racing heart felt almost healthy in a way, like something that was meant to happen, and the way the voices shut my ears off was kind of like a good trip and a break from the world. I was even a little disappointed when it was over and I returned to normal. 

When it stopped and I went to sleep i slept for over 12 hours, and all day today i’ve felt completely on another planet. When i woke up it was like someone was pressing on my head and squeezing the sides of it together. I went to the kitchen to bake a cake and had the feeling that i was outside my body looking in, and i could see myself clearer in my mind than i could see through my eyes. I keep thinking that i can’t believe i’m really here, right now, on this earth and this is actually happening. Even if i’m doing smth totally normal like walking down the street or having a cup of coffee it just doesn’t feel real at all, like i just literally cannot believe this is actually happening. I keep looking at the clock and being amazed at what time it is, like it’s some sort of dream.

People keep asking if i’m ok, even some girl in the gym i’d never spoken to before came up and asked if i was alright, which is concerning because i thought i was acting totally normal. I went into M&S, can’t remember why i went in there but i was just wandering round staring at random stuff, really trying to pull myself together and snap out of it but just couldn’t. Then all of a sudden i was in a different shopping centre, with no memory of how i got from M&S to there, or again what i was there for. I forgot an email address i’d had for over 10 years, even though it’s basically [email protected], and at one point when i took out my phone i expected it to be the old Nokia i had when i was about 16, and i just looked at my iPhone 6 like i had no clue what it was or how to work it before i remembered. When i was in town i was even forgetting which city i was in and how to get to places. It’s quite scary. I feel like i should add an emoticon after that but i’m not sure how (and that’s not a symptom of the panic attack, i generally am that bad with technology).

I’ve had physical symptoms too, like feeling really sick and dizzy all day, a stabbing pain in my stomach and still got a tight chest, although no difficulty breathing. I want smth to eat, especially smth sweet, but i would prob just throw up if i ate anything. i’m considering ordering a pizza because it’s the only thing i fancy, and there’s no way i feel like cooking anything. 

I’ve reread what i just wrote and decided i’m going to order a pizza and then post this on the forum. 

Posts: 408
Panic attack

I am considering going to see my gp, but here you don't get a choice who they refer you to, you have to go and see the gp first and take it from there. I wanna think carefully before I do though, because here they can share your medical records with your employers and stuff, and whatever it is it would be a big deal to have it on my medical record forever. I do actually feel a lot better this evening so i'm hoping it's just a temporary blip in my sanity rather than the onset of smth horrible. But if it gets worse i will go see someone. 

Posts: 631
Panic attack

?

See a doctor. Like yesterday.

That could be anything from a psychotic break to insulin shock to head trauma with a damaged spinal cord.

Just be sure you consult with a few people online with the expertise to help you narrow it down before you go see your own doctor.

Depending on your income level, you may be referred to the wrong kind of doctor, which can be disastrous.

If you're in insulin shock for example, and some pill happy quack wants to put you on thorazine or some shit, you could be in for a world of grief.

So talk it out here first and then bring a revised list of symptoms and possibilities to your GP. Ask for a referral to the right kind of specialist, whether that's an endocrinologist, osteologist, physiotherapist, or what have you.

Posts: 137
Panic attack

Just sounds like an average Friday night to me.

 

Posts: 408
Panic attack

God, you're even more batshit than me. I was worrying a bit I was going crazy, but in comparison to that i'm completely fucking normal. 

Edit: Ok, having been told off for being mean to you, and seeing as i do think you genuinely believe what you're saying, i'll give a proper reply. 

That clear voice you heard, it's one of those who monitor you, they are always with you. It's not that you understood it via sound, but you clearly understood this communication as pure meaning of the message, but you can only translate it in words.

If this voice was sent to monitor me, it's doing a pretty shitty job of it... 'something's happening, something's happening, something's happening...' I fucking know something's happening lmfao, why would i need someone to tell me that 2982447 times? 

All that other stuff you seen and heard, I think was put into place to distract you from knowing too much, so you can continue to believe you are what you think you are.

you mean... i have superpowers? I'm not human? What? 

There are cases of Surgeons and Nurses all feeling a divine presence at work. Maybe you were having a heart attack, and before you ascended into experiencing a full blown NDE, they patched you up.

Considering I'm a healthy 27 yo with no family history of heart disease (and from such a large family that absence of heart attacks is actually remarkable), I think it's more likely to be just a panic attack than angels saving me from a heart attack. 

Posts: 191
Panic attack

Fascinating.

That clear voice you heard, it's one of those who monitor you, they are always with you. It's not that you understood it via sound, but you clearly understood this communication as pure meaning of the message, but you can only translate it in words.

All that other stuff you seen and heard, I think was put into place to distract you from knowing too much, so you can continue to believe you are what you think you are.

There are cases of Surgeons and Nurses all feeling a divine presence at work. Maybe you were having a heart attack, and before you ascended into experiencing a full blown NDE, they patched you up.

 

Posts: 1386
Panic attack

I know a guy who has seizures from time to time. Not the locking up and foaming from the mouth seizures. But small epileptic seizures. 

These seizures can give you similar results.

Posts: 631
Panic attack

"...here you don't get a choice who they refer you to..."

If that's the case, then your list of symptoms covers enough possibilities that you'll probably get a proper dx if you leave out the part about the voice.

Even doctors get weirded out by that stuff.

I create voices in my head (bc I love music and came from a musical family, and also write, play and dream with my and other people's kids) but every time I mention my here again/ gone again ability to separate a jumble of ideas into several different thought tracks in my head, the dull monochrome thinkers among us start crying about psychosis and bullshit.

So see your GP for your own safety. Just don't mention hearing voices when you list your other symptoms. And do mention a range of possible issues that you'd like your doc to screen for. Epilepsy would be one. Thyroid issues could be another. So could blood sugar problems.

Posts: 2658
Panic attack

Look up sleep paralysis, its biggest features being unable to move your body and speak up (body shuts down the body and muscles but not the brain)

To add to this, there's also one way I wake myself up out of it by first wiggling my toes, then shaking my legs, at some point i become able to move my abdomen then bam I wake up.

Posts: 904
Panic attack

I agree with Cake. It could have been caused by any number of things.

I strongly recommend you see a medical doctor as soon as possible. He or she will be able to run the appropriate tests and send you to a specialist if needed.

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