well it's day 2 and i'm pretty much back to normal now.
this has demonstrated, once again, that overdosing is a dumbass suicide method, and depressed impulsive me is a retard.
if i really gave a fuck i would just walk over to the bridge like i did before and jump. last time i tried that i was too afraid to do it, and i'm not sure if it would be any different if i tried again. the thought of my body sinking slowly to the bottom of the river makes me shudder all over. but it's the only easy and effective method available to me, so it's probably what i'll have to do if i'm serious about this.
maybe i'm just too weak