"I am fascinated by how an antidepressant allows for more suicidal thoughts."
They mimic what the body would need, but from that the body itself stops working as hard to produce it on it's own. In that sense, an antidepressant will have you become more suicidal, an antipsychotic will make you crazier, speed will make you more lethargic, etc etc.
Pair that with the body developing a tolerance to the drug and you're basically on a time table that eventually leads to you being screwed over. It's why such drugs ought to be used for helping them reach an epiphany before stair-stepping them off of it instead of treating it like a multivitamin.
just got back from the psych, they increased my dose of meds, and then spent around an hour rambling about how they used to be a dog trainer and showing me youtube videos of this sport called flyball (which i never even knew existed). i think they needed someone to talk at and found me a suitable target cause i don't really do back and forth conversation lol
also i took the science part of the ged test and passed with honors. but science is the easy part so i'm probably going to suck at everything else
i just took 21 tablets of bupropion 7 hours ago, and i'm still waiting for something to happen. if i wind up to not be dead by the time my parents come in here idk what i'm gonna do. there's basically no way to pass this off as anything but a suicide attempt..
i'm feeling lightheaded and kind of shaky now, idk if that's from the pills or the intense feeling of anxiety. probably both
i'm not gonna stay in front of my computer for long, gonna try and get more sleep