You need to get more excitement in your life. I'd twist my arm too if I felt that trapped. You need more independence, and work to keep yourself busy. Just wait some more until you're an adult, it'll happen by itself.
today was a faggot. i spent the first part of the day feeling like complete shit and barely having the motivation to move or do anything. i tried to take up the time going on chans, reading stuff on r/nosleep and accessing random devices through shodan.io. my dad was trying to get me to study but i didn't have the energy to do anything requiring more than .1% brainpower so i just sat there and did half a lesson and then quit.
i had the idea to try and kill myself by tearing open my wrist using my teeth and wire cutters (the only sharp implements i have), which i was very determined to go through with until i found out just how fucking painful it was. now i'm left with a stupid hole in my wrist and nothing else different from how it was before. apparently i just don't have the willpower to an hero properly.
for like a week or something i've been too apathetic to shower and i smell completely disgusting, i wish they would invent smell over internet protocol so i could take my stink and wave my sweaty armpits in your faces. lol
when i tried to go to sleep a couple hours ago i had a sudden fit of manic energy and laid there for like fifteen minutes laughing my ass off over some stupid scenario that i thought up in my head. then i couldn't sleep after all so i got up and shitposted and ate a shit ton of oranges from the kitchen. now it's almost 1 in the morning and i'm sitting here listening to this and pretty much just being chill.
life is good my dear niggers, life is good
AAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAAA YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING FAGGOT HAHAHHAHHAAA LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU SUCK A MILLION DICKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHAHAHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH OF A FAGGOT YOU ARE AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAAA YOU SUCK SUCH DICKS WOW SO FAGGOT HOLY SHIT I CAN'T EVEN IT'S HILARIOUS SO FAGGOT OMFG TRULY WOW HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIEEETT NIGGER FAGGOT GOATS HOLY FUCK AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHHAAA SO MUCH FAGGOT SO MUCH VERY WOW I CAN'T EVEN LOLDONGS MY FUCKING SIDES YOU ARE A NIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOLOOOOOOOOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOL KEK KEK KEK KEK AH OMG SO FAGGOT I CAN'T STAND IT IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SO GAY IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY OH WOW OH GEEZ AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAA AYY LMAO AY AY AY OMFG SO GAY IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
AND THE MOST FAG POST OF THE CENTURY GOES TO......... YOU, BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUUUUUUUUUUEEEEHHHHHH