Since you believe yourself to be so very humble and self-aware in every respect, I can understand how you might find it perplexing that you should experience these sadistic fantasies. Yet you claim to know yourself intimately. So why do you think have them? And why post about them at all- if not as a thinly-veiled excuse to launch a narcissistic tirade about what an evolved, "perfect" sociopath specimen you are?
I accept myself, but I do not know what belies my sadistic desires. I have them, they give me pleasure and I do not question why. I have before and the result I got from myself was that I simply do, so that is the one that I have accepted. I get the same result when I think of why I am heterosexual. I am interested to see your take on both if you have a take on them and I am also interested in your explanation of why, if you could explain that too. Maybe something will click and I will come to a different realization. However, I don't want to start discussing theories on my own because I have no theories. I could start tossing things out at random but then I would just be wandering aimlessly. With that said, if you say something then I have a basis to work with.
I posted about them because I like conversation. I like different perspectives so that I can challenge my own and those of others, which is what I have been doing. Exercising my mind, seeing if there may be a different way of looking at things for me but at the moment, I still feel like I have always felt about myself. I have never talked about this part of myself with anyone before and so I didn't know how other people would perceive my way of thinking. I do care what other people think if it is interesting and benefits me. You and anyone else commenting to me could come with benefits other than simply interest in what could be and in the process, I might come out of it a completely different person, or completely the same and vice versa with them and you.