No because i haven't found anyone fuckable.
I've only heard a small segment of your story and I don't feel bad for you at all. I imagine if I heard the rest of it the only thing I'd feel is more amused haha. Why is it that so many of you misfit losers who got treated like shit in school show up here? And why is it that you're all so eager to recount the details of your abuse as if it's just a general point of interest rather than something deeply pathetic that you should be completely ashamed of? How come you didn't at least try to stand up for yourself? Why do you think you were targeted in the first place? And what was this incident where you were nearly drowned? Did the kids at school dunk your head down the toilet one too many times in a row? I reckon they should've finished the job and then flushed you away like the useless turd you are. What are these other incidents you don't want to discuss? Did you try to top yourself?
Out of boredom, I suppose I might as well answer your questions.
1. I haven't diagnosed myself with anything, nor do I plan to. Never been diagnosed with anything by anyone else either.
2. I don't really think of them as traumatizing, but at the time I do remember it being quite...unpleasant. Whenever other people hear my whole story, they always seem to feel quite bad for me as well, so I suppose I could call these 'traumatic events'.
I've been bullied intensively through ages 8 to 13 or so, to the point where I became a total recluse and didn't walk out of the house unless I was forced to. Though, that was mainly because of lack of interest in other people around me (since all they did was bully me) and there wasn't really anything to do either. I'm not sure whether this would count as a trauma as well, but I've almost died multiple times, one case I can clearly remember was caused directly by another person. Not sure whether they're aware of it, but inhaling water is not really that much fun (let me tell you here, I don't mean the occasional pushing each other underwater, I mean actually being stuck under there for too long). Then there are a few other things that have happened, but I'd rather not discuss those.
3. Low. My parents, for example, seem to feel empathy for others very easily, whereas I hardly ever do. Even in cases where other people feel empathy, I can feel nothing.
4. Well, yes, if I try. I usually couldn't be bothered though.
5. Sometimes having empathy is better, sometimes it's not. It depends on the situation. Not having empathy, or not having much empathy will allow you to deal with a lot of situations just fine, where other people would be crying, feeling really bad for someone and what not. However, it also means you have to think about what's going on and then react accordingly, instead of it happening naturally, which can be a bit troublesome occasionally. Just like there's two sides to a coin, and many other things, having or not having empathy both have advantages and disadvantages.
My moral code is to do no harm.
Reading all these posts, one thing seems certain: our brain abnormalities cause abnormal interactions.
Is that immoral? No.
Are some of the results of those abnormal responses immoral? Oh hell yeah they are.
I could agree that Aspies/Autis, Socios/Psychos, and Bipolar folks simply have different wiring from birth.
But I know when I've hurt someone. Maybe not instantly, but fairly quickly.
Do I feel empathy? Umm... sort of. But at times I feel that my empathy is rather shallow and self-based.
That's why I asked the question about possible childhood traumas.
I was different, and thusly, I was picked on. And judging by my current behavior, I'd say I must have a behavioral problem mixed in:
A brief list of 'social' symptoms I experience:
-quick to anger
-overly sensitive to criticism
-defensive
-feeling like everyone is out to get me
-self-centered
-taking emotional or even physical revenge against perceived enemies
-prone to excessive rage
Now is that all just the Bipolar? Some of it probably is. But I have a feeling that the way I was treated as a kid has made me infinitely more sadistic. At times, I almost feel like a sociopath. I like to cause chaos & destruction the way some people cut themselves to relieve stress.
But on good days that deeply troubles me, so I know I do have some empathy. But much like mania, it's light switch on, light switch off.
by Edvard
by neoninsanity1. What is your condition? (formal or informal diagnosis)2. Any childhood traumas? (rape, bullying, death in the family, etc.)
3. How does your empathy level compare with the average person?
4. Do you have the ability to alter your empathy level at will?
5. Do you find that your empathy level is a bigger asset than not in life, or is it a greater hindrance than a help?
1- I'm in good condition :D
2 - my childhood wasn't rosy, but nothing I could call trauma
3 - average, I guess
4 - hell yes it alters depending on circumstances, but it's more automatic that at will; training has a lot to do with that
5 - more asset than hindrance
Luna, I hate the quote function with fiery passion.
Your moral code is split between either being eye-for-an-eye or do no harm? How radical!
The innate wiring in my head is what caused mine. (It runs in my family, whatever the fuck it is.) Never had anger issues, but I get bad anxiety and paranoia that affects how I deal with people. But I've been getting better at social interaction irl as of late after making a conscious effort to change my outlook on people. It's actually working, which is cool.
Btw, what's your favorite way to manifest your destructive tendencies?
1. The human condition
2. Yes, everyone experiences a childhood trauma
3. My empathy is less than most, more than some
4. Sometimes
5. Empathy is sometimes a help and sometimes a burden.
Now go throw that brick at your own head... then you'll no longer have thinky-feely pains.
i'll admit, my issues are pretty difficult to pin down , if they even are issues at all.
i was diagnosed with ADHD at first , then OCD (i used to wash my hands to the point where they'd get all wrinkley and deformed looking ) , and eventually one teacher theorized i was an aspie, not sure if it was a legitimate diagnosis or just a theory. i have a friend who really DOES have aspergers and he doesn't believe i have the disability but he's made some interesting claims as to what it could be. he claimed i was a "borderline sociopath ", which sort of started my intrigue with this website, also the fact that another person recently theorized the same, but now my aspie friend is telling me i'm actually just bipolar. funny thing is, i've taken some tests online and i fit pretty much every criteria when it comes to borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, but not for aspergers. idunno, i'd say bipolar makes the most sense for me, but i think i'm able to control my whicky whacky emotions better than most. do i feel empathy ? eh, i guess. it's not something i particularly enjoy feeling so i usually just choose to shut it out , i prefer dancing around "horrible " thoughts than the idea of " good will for everyone ". i'm definitely quick to anger and sensitive to criticism, having feelings that everyone's out to get me, etc. actually, most of what the OP describes sounds like familiar territory for me. minus the "crying at movies " part. my self therapy for my bipolar funky borderline whatever the fuck is usually shutting it out , listening to music, smokin' some of da goody good kush, etc.
Formal diagnoses: Asperger's, ADD and NPD
Childhood trauma: None really, although I was a bit of a wild child without adult guidance
Empathy level: Low. I care about those who mean something to me because they mean something to me. That's it. Despite this I'm a moral person.
Empathy change at will: No.
Asset: Low empathy good. Makes you think and not just react. Saves you from the pain of others.