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It's hard for me to imagine being that emotional over anyone. It sounds parasitic to me. Like you don't know how to get nourishment from yourselves or other sources. It's dependent in a way, isn't it? Obsession?

It was. That compulsion is gone now. The reason I'm drawn to her now is more based on rationality then emotion.

Since and during this obsession I've been seeing other women in hopes of breaking the bond or at least finding something similar. I feel nothing. All 6 have said I treat them like strangers or that I just don't care. It's leading me to think she may be the last emotional outlet I have left to access. If this is true, it makes her invaluable to me. Now I'm chasing her with my head, not my heart.

Even so, I'm giving this idea time. Another year or so before I start up again. But the question that keeps me up is what if I'm right about her. Do I choose to live like this, feeling nothing towards anyone but independent or become a parasite and enjoy the fruits of my 5 year labor. 

I can have her now. Now that i'm not falling over for her she's quick to do as I say. Like treating her like shit was all it took. It's displeasing to say the least. I expected more from her, I don't care if I've known her for this long.

Well now, you've certainly got the whole obsessed stalker thing down pat, don't you...

I've gotten a grip on it. 

Just too late.

1. Why is it so many people don't get that it's the middle ground that tips the balance? Obsessive behavior when I'm in a relationship - is disgusting to me. A man or woman who shows me she or he cannot control their emotions - and have zero life away from me- is sure to drive me away. I like my privacy and a comfortable distance. To continuously come crashing into that dripping with your poetry and undying affections - shows me you are going to be high maintainence emotionally, which would require a lot of faking on my part- you're probably not worth the trouble of. I'll find a way to discard you if I find no other value in your presence.  That said- no way would I stay with an asshole. A power struggle that would surely end in a bloody mess, would happen. A person who can stand on their own- whose ego is neither fragile nor a black hole- sure to suck me into some empty void - this is my idea of the perfect pairing. I don't have to chase you- you don't have to chase me- and we have our own lives going on when we're not together. Interdependence not codependent.

She originally wanted the extra attention, she fed off it as much as I did. 

The difference between me and other intimacy stalkers, is that the desire towards each other actually was reciprocated and not made up in my head. We'd average 400-500 text a day for a 7 month period, we went out to eat, took her to a couple movies, walked around in nature parks discussing our future. The things I missed the most were the bonfires in the woods and the night walks together.

Within 1 day it went from that too actively hating me for something I never did. I don't believe it's just my head being off that caused me being a stalker. I believe if anyone was set up in my shoes, it would do worse if not the same.

maybe you really did the thing, and you're delusional. what was the thing?

I don't know, what is the thing?

by Systematic

We'd average 400-500 text a day

Holy shit. That's a lot of text messages.

I went out with a guy who liked texting me every day and I thought his 10 or so text messages were enough to annoy me. I can't even remotely imagine getting 500.

What the hell were you texting each other about?

Everything. Everything an anything.

We both weren't very social or trusting of others. We saved the conversations and questions that someone would ask a multitude of people for each other. Simply because other people weren't around and weren't welcomed in the first place.