I certainly hope this is not indicitive to how my day is going to go... This was the saddest thing I ever read.
You have got to be military...
Reminds me when some of the guys in one of my old units would go whaling. (going to a bar/club and seeing which one of them can pick up the fattest chick in the place) There was a point system where depending on how many they got, how far they got, and how much their whale weighed. at the end of the month they tallyed up their scores and the guy that won got shitfaced to drown out all the emotional shame he'd incurred (paid for by the 'losers') this game was especially fun to play with the FNG's