Donuts. :$
I don't log on much nowadays but when I do...its always a pleasure to see the new levels of pathetic-ness you have succumbed to. One has to wonder just how fucking butt ugly you must have to be to resort to following girls around town (who you have high up on a pedestal), when there are plenty of ugly fat mommas online just gagging for lonely sex starved young virgins, such as yourself.
Stop wasting your time and get saving from whatever shitty job it is you have now and pay for a prostitute. But by the sounds of it, you're gonna need a real professional who isn't overly concerned with looks and awkwardness. My recommendation would be to turn up just before the end of the month, when most men are broke, because that way the baggy fannied whores will take anyones money.
Edit: give us another laugh and post a pic of your spotty geeky face.
What the fuck? You see the woman you have been in love with for years and you run six blocks to 'position' yourself? Why didn't you just walk up and say 'hi'? Is the real problem an addiction to drama? Don't dismiss this crazy shit as a 'trigger' that excites 'certain behavour'. You should talk to a pro. Get some help dude and free yourself.