Fuck no.
Oh, wait - yes, but I was never caught.
In general, I wouldn't cheat on a SO because if you're ever caught, you'll be forced to live in a subordinate position to that person for the rest of your worthless life unless you leave immediately after being caught. In my case, that'd mean potentially leaving all of the really nice shit my activities have brought me over the years.
Fuck no.
Oh, wait - yes, but I was never caught.
In general, I wouldn't cheat on a SO because if you're ever caught, you'll be forced to live in a subordinate position to that person for the rest of your worthless life unless you leave immediately after being caught. In my case, that'd mean potentially leaving all of the really nice shit my activities have brought me over the years.
by Questioning_LifeI have always used sex to get what I want and that can take on many different forms.
What are your reasons for 'cheating' and how do you actually feel about it?
I cheat for numerous reasons. For manipulation purposes, in order to get what I want. Sometimes it can be simply b/c I am attracted to someone and want to get fucked by them. In years past I needed it for emotional reasons, to feel loved by someone. I equated sex and love as the same thing.
Okay, QL: what're you getting from these liaisons? It's pretty damned easy to get sex from a man when you're an attractive woman, or even if you're just a woman. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not in this only for sex.
"I want to get fucked by them". Hmm. I would have said, "I want to fuck them." Why did you immediately, voluntarily place yourself in the subordinate position? Immediately after this you said that you equated sex with love in past years, but that now your view is different. Even if this didn't completely contradict your assertion that you only "supply" sex for manipulative purposes, it sure as hell wouldn't support it.
"In general, I wouldn't cheat on a SO because if you're ever caught, you'll be forced to live in a subordinate position to that person for the rest of your worthless life unless you leave immediately after being caught."
Not always the case.
I was weak and let who I used to be with somewhat get away with past transgressions. We'd break up, but soon enough we'd be back together, me thinking that she'd changed or that I could change her if not my being a victim of nostalgia, the result of my pushing for the mantle of friendship during what times we were not dating encountering her delusional yet cleverly phrased ways of seeing things. A histrionic with a real gift for manipulation, a gift she only knew how to express passively and chronically.
She was not my "subordinate", save for, at best, the short burst durations of outrage of mine that would sometimes crop up if she'd say something completely audacious. If anything, her cheating had me thinking it was my fault, that I'd fucked up somewhere, and that I had to work twice as hard to "repair things" from my having put the entirety of the relationship on my own shoulders.
She knew how to puppeteer my perfectionist nature to be toward the relationship while making very convincing arguments as to why things were my fault. Even had the nerve to think I'd be there to pick up the pieces after our last break up if her boy-of-the-moment plans didn't work out.
And that is just my story. I've seen many others like it with many degrees of variation. The person cheating just has to be convincing, and the one cheated on just needs some sort of tweak that plays on their submissive nature.
by Helena
by Questioning_LifeI have always used sex to get what I want and that can take on many different forms.
What are your reasons for 'cheating' and how do you actually feel about it?
I cheat for numerous reasons. For manipulation purposes, in order to get what I want. Sometimes it can be simply b/c I am attracted to someone and want to get fucked by them. In years past I needed it for emotional reasons, to feel loved by someone. I equated sex and love as the same thing.
Okay, QL: what're you getting from these liaisons? It's pretty damned easy to get sex from a man when you're an attractive woman, or even if you're just a woman. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not in this only for sex.
"I want to get fucked by them". Hmm. I would have said, "I want to fuck them." Why did you immediately, voluntarily place yourself in the subordinate position? Immediately after this you said that you equated sex with love in past years, but that now your view is different. Even if this didn't completely contradict your assertion that you only "supply" sex for manipulative purposes, it sure as hell wouldn't support it.
It serves a purpose, it's just another tool in my box. I've never met anyone who I cared enough about to give a shit how they feel. Sometimes it IS about sex, sometimes it's to get something I want, sometimes it's just for the thrill. Just depends on how I feel at the moment. In the past, and as I previously said, I have never been faithful to one person once I was out of my teens. It's never been part of my make up. My needs and wants always came first. I am currently in a relationship outside my marriage. The thought to cheat hasn't occurred to me. Say what "you" will, that's a first for me.
I said, "I want to get fucked" because I was the one looking for sex , I was horny. You say that you would have said "I want to fuck them" but to me, I dont care about fucking them, it was me that wanted to be fucked and get off. Saying that doesn't make me subordinate, it simply describes the situation.
The last part of your post doesn't make sense. I said in the past I equated sex to love, but I have started to understand that is not correct.
*I'm high as a fucking kite if this makes no sense
I have cheated on every girl I have ever been with except for the woman I live with now. The only reason I haven't cheated on her is because I haven't put myself in the position to cheat.
Sex to me is the only feeling that I can choose to have, whenever I want. Whether it be sex or masturbation. It is one of the few true feelings I have control over.
Aggressive sex is a way for me to free my mind of the everyday chaos. So there are times it is almost like a drug my body needs that allows me to escape. Even if it is for a short while (45min to 1 1/2hrs). ;)
It's possible for some people to have a monogamous relationship. I think the only way I might be able to come close to such a thing would be if I had some sort of mental connection with someone. Maybe someone who thinks as I do.
Or maybe that would be a lethal combination. Who knows, worse case scenario will kill each other fucking. Not a bad way to go.
Actually, everything you said was wrong. You obviously didn't understand a word of my post.
I didn't accuse QL of being a supplier of sex, but her subordinate position is inherent when she says that she wanted to get fucked by someone rather than just fuck them. When you want to get fucked by someone you're generally just sexually attracted to them. Nothing wrong with that - except that it completely contradicts her previous statement that she uses sex to manipulate people.
by Questioning_Life
The last part of your post doesn't make sense. I said in the past I equated sex to love, but I have started to understand that is not correct.
*I'm high as a fucking kite if this makes no sense
It makes sense.
I was asking what sex means to you now. You said that in the past, you equated sex with love. What do you equate it to now (if to anything)?