You were talking about RAD and "child of rage", which I remember getting a tingling sensation when I watched it as a kid. I got "off" more on the domination and helplessness than I did it being a kid specifically, and I don't actively seek that sort of thing to get off. I don't remember speaking to Post about any of that, but I do vaguely remember a link that I never bothered to look at.
I was a child molester, but I was a child when doing the molesting. Does that count :D!
Den Hoga Baverb: "His reactions, or therelackof, made it interesting."
I was reacting, but it was all internal. It seemed unlike myself, but then again I am a meticulous pre-planner. I can't exactly say that I was prepared for something like that. The lack of outward reactions from people as a whole, myself included, was weird to reflect on after it all. I was a mess, but it seemed to make others freeze up as well because of who it was that did it alongside how strange and sudden it was.
She was a monster, I just had the unluckiest interaction with her. If it had happened to someone else, I would be calling it interesting as well in the same fashion.
Den Hoga Baverb: "The stereotype in me always imagined the male to be the dominator, and here he is: weak, vulnerable, scared, helpless."
Indeed. It's not something people think about too often, the roles being reversed, even if simply from just looking at the parts and making assumptions.
Red's article posted here isn't wrong, and TVTropes has instances of it as well where it seems to comment on the difference in response. Even their top quote:
"Obviously if you're watching a scene with a woman tied to a bed while a man forces sex on her, the final act of thatmovie will involve said man getting shot in the face by Bruce Willis. If, on the other hand, it's a man being tied down and forced into sex by a pretty lady, well, you're watching a wacky romantic comedy."
—C. Coville, Cracked, 6 Romantic Movie Gestures That Can Get You Prison Time
Thrope: "Were you masochistic before this happened?"
Had been for at least two years. Had even experimented with it in sex prior (found out about it outside of the bedroom before inside). If anything, the whole ordeal made me hate BDSM until I got past it.
Systematic: "Why didn't you utilize your karate skills? Should've round-housed that bitch."
Wasn't really in my right mind after the initial blind-sighting (didn't even feel like myself really). As I mentioned in another topic, I do not like surprises. With the sheer weight and intensity she had, I doubt it'd have made her budge much. After that, I'd have had a rage case to deal with who'd have nothing against turning a knife on her own people that I already know is capable of rape. My rage response is also unstable, so getting angry wouldn't help either.
Plus, as I mentioned, it was like body paralysis, blacking out, and walking through life in a shocked fugue. The first time was shocking enough that the damage took over a year to get over.
Metaerg: "so how did you get back at her?"
Oh yes, the part Red "conveniently" cut from the story. To make a long story short, I kept tabs on her through others, spread the info to every person I could, did art projects to educate others on the topic from listing my own experiences, and behaved beneath my own standards to cause those who trusted me to turn on her through deceptive means, since they were socially battered to the point of locking their doors to not see the creature. I had to cause them to fight with eachother to get any progress at all. I had many violent thoughts, and knew full well I could pick her lock and poison her in her sleep if not strangle her with my knee pressing into her neck, but I understood that society expectations would make me out to be the bad guy.
Her life could not find even one source of comfort in her crazy drug addled state, and I pushed that until she lost herself. Thanks to my efforts, she ended up with nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and even her parents wouldn't help her. She was forced to leave the second place from my causing them to notice she was selling drugs out of their townhouse, something that seemed like an issue only from my insistence. No matter how much I try to build up this person's background, seeing the strange being is the only way to really get how much of a chaotic lashing mess she was.
Another friend of mine who could relate to rape experiences didn't talk to her but kept her on her Facebook contacts. I responded to someone's point about rape, challenging the gender stereotypes as I'd grown used to doing (especially at feminazi types who think only men rape), and it caused her to enter an episode of sorts. She went into a crazy denial rant that showed how far disconnected from reality she had become, and how much that me coming up as a topic disturbed her. The sheer amount of denial and lies that came from it sobered me out of what little shreds of damage were left.
Justice was not an option, nor was violence, so I had to sabotage instead. It was arguably not enough, but it's what I had at my disposal.
Metaerg: "also your friends sound like wussies."
They were human, and I tend to attract crazies or people who in general have issues. They each had their own shit I had to work past to make them even able to really listen. Selfish and scared to the point of blind-spotting even without my shit going on related to her, I had to give them no choice but to deal with their problems first to gain allies.
Wait a second.
Did you say "no" at any point in time?
Then it wasn't rape.
What this is, a simple case of a frigid psychopath having no clue on how to let go and enjoy sex. It is not rape.
Women use sex as a weapon. Figure that much out fast, and it will all make sense to you. Somewhere, there is probably a timid girl who likes you, and this girl who fuked you knew that, and she decided to get to you first, just so it could get around and hurt the timid girl.
That is the way things go.
You believe she aborted a kid?
You are too easily pushed around. Do not play the victim. It is not worth it to you.
The first time she wouldn't let me talk. On some level she recognized I didn't want it, so she'd find ways to shut me up so she could keep her fantasy going. Every time I began to have some coherence, she'd stop my ability to speak.
I said no plenty of times afterwards, she just didn't hear me since it didn't go according to her line of reasoning. She saw an erection, and figured that was consent.
"You believe she aborted a kid?"
Yeah, she had someone go with her for support.