traces smacecs
what are you a murderer?
As some of you know, I was refused treatment by my previous doctor after confiding in her and have had to find a new doctor. After viewing my medical records, which mentions some of the things that caused my previous doctor to feel threatened by me, my new doctor wants me to go back into therapy.
I told him I don't need therapy and he told me, then there's nothing he can do for me. We almost got into an argument over that because I only wanted to see him about my medical concerns, not whatever fucking mental health issues he thinks I have (which, in my opinion, don't concern him). Turns out he's into holistic medicine, which focuses on the health of both mind and body. Thus, the reason he is concerned about my mental health as well.
So, anyway, after discussing a few things with him, I agreed to see a psychologist again. My first appointment with the psychologist is early next week. I don't know how it's going to go because I don't feel like there's anything wrong with me, but my doctor seems to think that my limited emotion and homicidal urges means there is something very wrong.
I've tried therapy a few times in the past because my homicidal urges were a concern to me back then (I felt like I was losing control) and I was experiencing brief psychotic episodes. Therapy has never really done anything for me though, so I don't expect anything will change after seeing this new therapist either.
by Thrill KillI've tried therapy a few times in the past because my homicidal urges were a concern to me back then (I felt like I was losing control) and I was experiencing brief psychotic episodes. Therapy has never really done anything for me though, so I don't expect anything will change after seeing this new therapist either.
You addressed something that I'm curious about. You said you used to fear losing control. At the moment that's my biggest concern. I'm not a violent person in general but i have my dark thoughts(they are quite frequent) and I'm kinda afraid that if the day where I don't have anything else to lose comes I might end up doing something really really bad. How did you overcome that fear of just losing it?
by Pink01If you have nothing to lose then just do it.
Like you said. You have nothing to lose.
ok I FEEL like i have nothing to lose and that makes me wanna do stuff. but at 20 years old you can't say for sure "you have nothing to lose". I have the rest of my life to lose in this case and all the crap that comes with it
by prod
by Pink01If you have nothing to lose then just do it.
Like you said. You have nothing to lose.
ok I FEEL like i have nothing to lose and that makes me wanna do stuff. but at 20 years old you can't say for sure "you have nothing to lose". I have the rest of my life to lose in this case and all the crap that comes with it
Focus on the consequences very hard, but don't lose yourself in them. Keep this mindset, and you will never fail. Eventually, you might learn to condition yourself to intuitively base your actions off of consequences. But then you're just a slave to the external world. And that's no fun. Oh well, choose self-control, or choose pleasure. I find pleasure in self-control, it's like infinite power.